The Love I Had

Derek Morgan

Last night, Rossi had come to Derek's house and dropped off the journal. Derek knew why he was getting it. He walked towards his kitchen table and pulled out a seat. An unsettling feeling fell over him as his fingers turned each page.
    He had never liked reading, and had a feeling that after this he would pretty much hate it. Derek took a deep breath, preparing himself for what he was about to read. He began;

Derek,
    Looking back on all the years I've known you, I can remember the exact moment I knew you'd be in my life for a very long time. We were sitting at the round table with JJ, Spencer, Aaron, and Penelope playing cards and I looked around and realized I had met my family.
    You've always been so good to me, your personality always made me laugh; whether or not it was on purpose. I want to make sure you realize how much I appreciate your constant support and kindness; no matter how often or badly I messed up you always seemed to be the first to forgive and understand me. To me, that meant everything.
    Derek you've been like a brother to me ever since the day I met you. Like a brother, you were protective of me but somehow also managed to get on my nerves. But of course, it was all in good fun.
    I really wish I could put into words what you mean to me; I hate writing, especially paperwork. I'm trying I promise, if only Spence were here. Unfortunately, he would tell me I'm doing everything wrong. I'm just looking for new words other than 'kindness' and 'hope. Oh well, it's not like this is getting graded.
   
Maybe you can be an annoying brother to someone else now.

    Derek hung his head, he once again, couldn't find the words. A million 'what ifs' filled his head. He knew it was all said and done; but still, even after all this time, didn't want to believe it.
    He walked up the stairs of Spence's apartment building, and rapped on the door, "Spencer", he called. There was no answer "Spencer" he said in a worried voice, still nothing. Spencer was a lot of things, but quiet was not one of them, "I can hear you" Derek called.