Beautiful Lies

Chapter 1

There is a feeling that I can't understand, a feeling that makes me feel safe even though I know how dangerous the situation is. Like right now, where I stand in front of an inhabited lake behind my house. I feel like I have been here far before I discovered this place. Thanks to the rumours of the dead spirits wandering around the lake, nobody is brave enough to come to this place, except from my brother and I. However, that was two months ago, before I met him. The mysterious guy, whom I can't hide my feelings from. He said my eyes tell everything I feel. I hid my feeling very well from my own brother but he was the one who knew me very well yet the only thing I know about him was his name. I didn't even know if the name was real or not.

"There you go again, looking faraway with deep thought,"

I could neither hide my smile nor stop my heart from beating fast since the moment he said his greeting. Without looking back, I knew the smirk he always gave me, doubtful eyes looking for answers in my eyes and his messy brown hair that I loved ruffling.  

"Well... hello to you too," I said without turning my head towards him even I was   dying to do so. I could feel he presence by my side.

"Didn't I said it before? Do not go to places like this alone,"

I caught the harshness in his tone. Then I turned my head for the first time. His eyes seemed to bore into my eyes with such intensity. They were always searching for something.

"I can take care of myself,"  

"If you can take care of yourself, then I will have much lesser thing to take care of,"

"What did you say?"

Dehan ignored my question and started walking away from me. He was heading to the abandoned deck, our favorite spot. I followed right behind him. We always play this game. Ignoring and getting mad at each other. Sometimes I wonder about what made me agreed to be his girlfriend when I already knew   this relationship could only bring me great pains.

"Dehan, talk to me. What did you mean by that? Am I a burden to you?"

"Nothing. I meant nothing, Minzy,"

"Why do you have to say something that hurts me if you meant nothing?"

"Because you never listened to me. I said not to go to dangerous places alone, yet you still come here by yourself,"

"But this is the only place I can meet you. You never told me anything about yourself while you know everything about me. I only know your name, Dehan. That doesn't even come close to what I've told you. You know about my family and my life,"

"Then let's stop seeing each other if that is what it takes to make you stop coming to this place,"

No. I couldn't take this anymore. Before he came into my life, I was just fine. I was alright. I wasn't the clingy type. I never even bothered to ask for any help from my brother. Who did he think he was? Him? The one who was sarcastic and seemed to be a danger to me? For God's sake, why did I even accept him in the first place? Am I really that lonely? Am I that pathetic to let this stranger to come into my life and control my life to his liking? Am I that desperate wanting to be loved by somebody?

"Okay then, let's break up," After saying those words, Dehan let out a sigh. A sigh much to his relief. I didn't expect that kind of reaction from him. I was completely caught off guard. I wanted him to say sorry. Am I really a trouble to him all these while? Then I did what I often do: Hurt them before they get the chance to hurt me.

"Go away! Never come back to this place again!"   

"Did you really mean that, hmm? I wouldn't want you to think of me when I'm gone. I won't allow you to think of me even for just a second. Can you do that?"

"Are you crazy, Oh Dehan? It's my every right to choose from wanting to remember you or not!"

Dehan shook his head, "No, that's why I won't allow you to know more about me. You, girls always remember the tiniest details to keep as memories. I do not want to be reminded as some bad relationships that may become your trauma. I want you to remember me as your boyfriend. Your forever,"

Dehan walked towards me slowly. I noticed that there were tears on the edges of his eyes. I couldn't bring myself to believe in this guy anymore. He probably wouldn't have those feelings. I was far from believing in the tears were real.

"Maybe I won't remember you at all." I took a step back. Distancing myself from my broken heart. "Let's end this here. Where I met you two months ago. If we meet each other again one day, just act like we are strangers. These are my farewells, Dehan."

Dehan acted like he never wanted to let me go. He closed the distance that I had made. He cupped my face gently like I was fragile. Even I knew what was going to happen next, I couldn't stop myself. He smiled knowingly before crushing his lips onto mine. I didn't know how many minutes had passed before he pulled away to end the kiss. The kiss. The goodbye kiss that I cursed myself for unable to hold myself.

"If you stick to your plan on not going to remember me, at least let me kiss you. And no, you are never going to leave me. I am the one who is leaving you now,"

With those words, Dehan walked away from me. From my life. I just stood there dumbfounded while holding my broken heart and demanding myself not to cry in front of him. He could take that kiss, but his didn't deserve to see my tears. It was the last time I saw him. And he had never looked back.