it's been months since taehyun broke up with beomgyu. beomgyu had moved away two weeks ago. no one knew why he moved away. everyone just assumed it had to do with taehyun, but everyone also knew that in the last few months of beomgyu in seoul, he didn't approach anyone.
beomgyu hadn't go to school for weeks and one day, his homeroom teacher just told the class that beomgyu had left the school and seoul. it came as a shock to everyone, the top one athlete student just left the school that guaranteed him a successful future. words just got around school within half a day, and when it reached taehyun, it broke him.
if you thought he broke when he broke up with beomgyu, he broke even more this time.
"he really is gone." taehyun kept on muttering. his friends looked at each other and then at taehyun. the younger had never been so spaced out and not focused before. he didn't listen to class at all, failed a few of them even, and didn't go to any of the after school activities he signed up at the start of the year.
kang taehyun was truly broken.
choi beomgyu might have left seoul, but he never left taehyun's mind one bit at all. ever since taehyun broke up with him, he kept on telling himself that it's alright to miss him for a while. but 'a while' turned into 'a few months'.
why does it still hurt so much? why do i miss him so much? why can't i just let him go?
taehyun tried dating some other people after the break up. but none of them made him feel like how beomgyu made him feel. he never felt the happiness, carefree, relaxation he always felt when he was with beomgyu before beomgyu became... that.
"taehyun, you good?" yeonjun nudged the younger when they were getting lunch. taehyun looked up and smiled a bit, nodding, "yup."
soobin sighed, "no, you're not. what's on your mind?" he sat next to the younger as yeonjun and kai sat opposite to the two of them.
taehyun shook his head, "i don't wanna-"
"please, taehyun," kai interrupted, "we want to help you. we really do. seeing you like this hurts so much more than you think it does. please tell us what's wrong."
taehyun looked over at kai, whose smile was quite gloomy compared to his usual bright one. the blonde then looked over at yeonjun, whose eyes were begging the same thing as well. they're hurting because of me.
taehyun glanced at soobin and the blue haired smiled at taehyun, "i agree with what kai said. but, of course, if you aren't comfortable with it, you can always tell us some other time."
"i just-" taehyun started, his gaze casting down towards his untouched food, "i miss him so much. and i know i shouldn't. but i miss him so much."
the three best friends let out a similar sigh. it wasn't a disappointed sigh, however. they knew it was something like that. honestly, the three were more than glad that the problem taehyun was facing was only missing beomgyu. they were so scared it had something to do with the younger's health, both physical or mental, or his emotions that might lead to regretful actions.
"hey," soobin started after a short silence, "it's okay to feel this way. feelings are not something we can control. even if you don't want it, it'll always be there. as harsh as it sounds, it's true. it's hard to get over someone, nonetheless someone you've been with for three years. please, taehyun, don't be so harsh on yourself, okay? yeonjun, kai and i will always be here for you and when the pain gets unbearable, we'll be here to help you with it."
taehyun looked at soobin with such innocence and sadness soobin felt like he would break. although it seemed pretty impossible, all the stars that used to shimmer and light up the void in taehyun's eyes seemed to be dead. everything about taehyun seemed to die when beomgyu left him. it was like taehyun left his soul in that locker room that fated day when the two broke up. and now, taehyun was nothing but a being that felt nothing but want and need for his soul to back in him.
the only for that to happen, however, seemed like to have beomgyu coming back to taehyun. but everyone knew it was bad for the both of them. that wouldn't work, at all.
taehyun nodded slowly, "okay." taehyun looked down at his food again, using his fork to pick at some vegetables on his plate, "okay."
kai grinned, "okay... now, i'm treating taehyun to ice-cream this afternoon! are you two coming?"
yeonjun and soobin looked at each other. yeonjun shrugged and soobin smiled, nodding.
"anything for our taehyun~!"
—
a shorter chapter this time because i'm trying to convince myself i don't need to write <1000 words chapters just for the sake of a chapter's length. i hope you guys are okay with shorter chapters! (this usually means ~800 words but i'm not really sure yet) also, we are nearing the end but don't worry, we still have a few chapters to go! please tell me how you think of this book so far, i would love to see how you feel about this entire book!
also, just a quick note. whatever taehyun's feeling/the description of how taehyun is feeling in this chapter (this particular chapter) is how i've been feeling lately (as of when i wrote this chapter so 7th feb 2021).
i would not go into details since, well, internet is still not the safest place to talk about yourself. but i did go through things similar to taehyun and however i described how he felt/how others looked at him is precisely how i feel and how my friends are helping me. i don't know if this made much sense but these feelings i described in this chapter is very, very real. they aren't made up, it's just a more sugar-coated and descriptive way of how i've been feeling for, say, the past year.
okay, thanks for reading this long a/n. i hope you have a wonderful day/night. stay home, stay healthy, stay safe. the virus is still out there!
— WOOSARCHIVES
