Love, Alexander

Chapter 22

Alexander

Pain. It was so painful. I knew the reason why had kicked me so hard. I knew exactly why his eyes flared with anger. I had another episode of my anger issues. All I remembered last night was that we had sex and slept, but this morning I recalled everything. I did him wrong and I deserved this.

He gave me a blowjob earlier. It seemed to help me loose my errection. I can't believe he gave me viagra instead of pain relievers.

I thought it'd be fun if I tried it, so I bought some.

I didn't want to talk to him because I didn't know what to say. Should I be mad at him for making me suffer like this, or should I say sorry and try to make things better with him?

He was my Liandro, I'd never hurt him like that. Last night was a mistake, a big one.

Minutes passed and a doctor finally arrived. I didn't want the doctor to go and touch me, or even see my dick. That was a privilege only my Leo could have.

"You have to let him check it" Leo tried to convince me as the doctor waited patiently. "It's purely professional, Alex" Leo tried to reassure me. The doctor looked gay. I didn't want him to take advantage of my situation and do as he pleases. "I said I'm fine already" I insisted. "Okay. Just tell me how it feels" The doctor told Liandro and turned around.

"Check if they are still in shape" The doctor stated. Leo removed the pillow out of the way and pinched the skin of my dick. "Ow! You're supposed to check the balls, Leo" I said as he rested my dick on my pubes. "What's it supposed to feel like?" Leo asked. "Normal" The doctor replied. How the fuck is he supposed to know what normal is? He's not a doctor dumbass.

I started to get hard at Leo's touch, making it an awkward situation because there was still someone else in the room. Leo flicked his head back to me as it became heavy on his hand. He chuckled at me. Why can't he be serious for once?

"You know what. Get out of here" I ordered the doctor because he seemed to be of no help.

"Can he still make babies?" Leo blurted as the doctor stopped by the door. "Let's pray for that" He joked. Haha, very funny.

Leo looked at me with apologetic eyes. "I'll donate mine if ever" He said. I didn't know if he was being serious or not. "I'm so sorry, Alex" He apologized as he started to tear up. The guilt and conscience in me started to overflow. It wasn't his fault. I wouldn't let him blame himself again.

"It was my fault" I said. "I was a dick last night" I continued. "Well, maybe if you weren't flirting with that guy then all of this wouldn't have happened" I added.

"He had a girlfriend, Alex" He informed.

Who the hell would flirt with another person if they were in a relationship? "It's called trust. You should try it sometimes" He said as if he heard my thoughts. He was right, I needed to trust him. I mean I do trust him, it's the guy who I didn't. I fucked up so much. How am I going to make up for this?

Leo stood up from the bed and grabbed my camera. "Smile" He said as he took a picture of me. "What the fuck?" I yelled, anger boiling inside of me again.

The bruise on his face was noticeable, a bruise which I made. Leo looked tired. He was limping the entire time he was moving around getting stuff.

"Come here" I patted the side of the bed. I was still half naked, while he was wearing a bathrobe. "I'm so sorry" I apologized as I tried to fight my sadness. I had done terrible things a boyfriend shouldn't have. I kissed his bruise, making him wince. I'm such a terrible boyfriend.

He looked at me with those sad and tired eyes. "You're right. It's my fault. I'm such a slut" His words making me flinch. "No you're not. You were right. I should've trusted you, I was just worried that that guy had different intentions" I said. "I bet he wasn't gonna beat me up like you did" His gaze focused somewhere else. His words—again—hit me like a train.

Leo has been blaming himself for all the bad things that had happened to him. It wasn't fair.

Leo is the kindest, most genuine and loving person I know. He didn't deserve all this suffering, he deserves better. I pulled him in for a hug, my emotions overwhelming me. I kissed his head and continuously apologized.

-

We were eating by the beach. I was feeling better already, but Leo didn't seem okay. He already went through a lot of trauma, and I added to that. I couldn't help but feel guilty for everything. I did my best to cheer him up but he always seemed distracted, casually faking a smile every now and then. "Baby" I cried out. I stood from my chair and knelt beside him.

"I'm very sorry for what I did. You didn't deserve that" I was begging for him to forgive me, even though he already said that he already did. I grabbed his hands and slammed it to my face. "Alex, stop" He pulled his hands away from mine. "I told you already. It's fine" He stated. "You're only saying that to make me feel better" I said, tears falling from my eyes. "What do you want me to do?" He snapped.

"You expect me to forget all of that?" He paused. "You're no different than Chris" And with that he walked out of our dinner.

I followed behind him, calling his name non-stop. "Just leave me alone" He said as he tried to fight his tears.