Chapter 4 - Clean

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"Careful of keeping his head above water

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"Careful of keeping his head above water. And don't get it in his face either," Islo instructed as I held Àlvar in the small bath.

He was just happily slamming his little fists in the water, having a grand time.

"Remember to get the wash-cloth in between all his little rolls."

I snorted. "I know how to clean between rolls. I have a fair few myself, thank you very much."

My husband snorted. "Oh, I know. Just make sure the little man here is all clean. Do you need help with the diaper?"

"No, I think I've got it now."

I gently picked the little boy up from his bath and put him on the table we had gotten installed in the bathroom. I smiled back at him as he smiled up at me. He was such a cutie.

"Just gonna lift your legs now, little boy," I murmured more to myself than to him. I pulled the fabric diaper under him and fastened it with a safety-pin. "There we go. Àlvar your father is a genius," I said with so much glee.

I had struggled with a lot of things. Especially when it came with childcare. I thought I was just bad, but like everything else in life, I just had to learn. I had to give myself permission to learn too. I couldn't just wake up one day and be the very best. Despite that being another hard lesson to learn. I should've been accustomed to it by now. I wasn't very good at a whole lot of things. I just thought I'd be good at being a dad, at least.

I was trying.

"And now for the clothes," I said to the little baby and he happily kicked his legs in response.

I got one leg trapped in my hand and stuck it into the leg of his jumpsuit.

"He looks so handsome in that outfit," Islo said and put his hands on my shoulders, kissing the back of my head.

"He is such a beautiful little boy, Islo." I buttoned up the jumpsuit and then he was ready for the day. I picked him up and turned to my husband, kissing his jaw.

"And you are such a beautiful father," he murmured softly.

We emerged from the back of our apartment to the front, only to find Dreki sitting in the armchair. He looked hollowed out. Dark rings were under his eyes and his hair was longer. It was also not nicely set.

I pressed Àlvar closer to my chest, fear freezing me to the floor.

"Sit down the both of you." He nodded towards the sofa.

"Quinn," Islo whispered and put his hand on my elbow.

"You can't have him back," I said with a shivering voice. "You're not taking my son anywhere."

"Quinn, you moron, sit down."

Islo gently pulled on my arm, and I moved like in a daze. I kept a tight grip on my son and the blanket he was bundled in. It was a soft one with little dragons stitched on it.

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