36 Questions That Lead To Love - Wolfstar (COMPLETED)

Question 7

Question 7:

Do you have a secret hunch about how you will die?

Wow, deep. No, actually I don't think so. I could name several people who have predicted my death in several different variants. My parents, James' parents, James, Snivellus... My arrogance, my motorcycle, alcohol, karma... the lists go on and on, but I never had a hunch about my death myself. One of them might actually be true, but then it would not be me to have predicted that.

Wow, why did so many people predict your death??

Hatred, worry, obvious circumstances, hatred, murderous thoughts etc.

Oh my gosh! That's not funny!

I know. I didn't mean it as a joke.

You can't be serious!

For once, I am. And not just because it's my name.

Who thought about murdering you??!

I'm not sure about my parents, but I'm pretty sure about Snape.

I don't know your parents and I don't know who this Snape is, but I can't imagine that they actually thought about killing you. That's a really serious accusation! And that is not meant to be a pun.

I know that this is serious, but they really do hate me. Anyway, let's drop this discussion now. I don't want to think right now at any of them. I'm on a date now and I intend to enjoy it. So, have you thought about how you might die?

Fine, but I still have the opinion, that you can't say something like that about anyone. Even if they hate you, what again, you are not able to know.

To be honest, I have. I thought about murdering myself. On purpose and not. I don't know if you know what I mean. I know that it is stupid, but I thought about giving up at an age when I was supposed to live completely without worries and just play all day long. I thought it wouldn't even change anything since I didn't even have anyone who cared for me anymore. I'm glad now that I didn't, but back then it seemed so easy and it would have ended the pain. Yeah, so I have thought about it which pretty much more than just having a hunch.

I'm speechless. I'm so sorry for that.

It's fine. I'm long over that.

How is this fine?! No child deserves that!

I know, but please I don't want to talk about it anymore right now. Remember, I'm on a date, too, and I also intend to enjoy it. *is uncomfortable*

Fine.

So, question 8 then?

*nods*

8th question:

Name three-

Wait, you said you thought about it purposely and not. What did you mean by that?

*gets really uncomfortable* I've never even talked about it with Lily, although I think she might suspect something like that. I just feel so stupid because of it. *has tears in his eyes* But fine, I'll tell you. *wipes the tears that he couldn't prevent from falling down from his cheeks, starts when he has calmed down enough*

After my mum had died, my dad somehow broke inside and became a brutal, nasty alcoholic. He beat me and abused me and since that time on I sometimes have the feeling that I - no matter what I do - I will end up like him. I then think that he depended too much on her, on her love. She made him a better person and I know he knew that. I sometimes have the feeling that no matter what, I will turn out to be like him and that this will sooner or later kill me. If I will do it myself or it will happen because of too much alcohol, doesn't matter. Anyway, that's also the reason I don't have many friends: I can't let them in because I'm too scared of what could happen if I did. I really am a coward. *laughs bitterly* Lily and Mars are the exceptions. They both just came into my life and just wouldn't want to leave. If they hadn't decided that they wanted me as their friend, I'd still have none. I love them both, but I don't know if I could say that I wanted them to do that again in a different life.

*stares at him intensely*

Wow, it's strange talking about it.

To a stranger.

You definitely are not a coward.

*shakes his head* Yes, I am.

No, you definitely are not. You just told your deepest secret, and more than personnel thoughts without really knowing me.

 And I also disagree with you on the point stranger. I don't think I can be a stranger to you now that I know this. Maybe I don't know you as well as Lily does and maybe I never will, but I'm not a stranger to you anymore. You don't tell strangers such intimate things. *can help but has to reach his hand out to Remus' face and trace the scar right across his face and brush his soft bangs out of his face*

After Sirius finished saying that, they look each other intensely in the eyes as if they were hypnotized  by each other. Butterflies are fluttering in both of their stomachs. Before they even notice what they are doing, they lean closer to each other. When Remus does notices what they are up to, he backs out. The atmosphere is broken and  they both blush in a deep shade of red. 

*realizes what just happened* Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't-

*stutters* Oh, no! - It's ok- I-

*pauses, thinks, blushes and smirks*

Not that straight, I guess.

*laughs haltingly* I suppose.

*stare*

I guess we should go on then.

*blushes and smiles* Yeah, probably.