A Way of Honor (Champions of the Crystal Book 2)

Chapter 10: Decrees and Desires

Image: Mara by D. Denise Dianaty

They had finished with lunch and were talking about Scotty and Haaron's plans for defense at their court-martial when one of the guards who was always posted outside Sabrina's door (for protection, not surveillance, she was told) entered. "Miss Devon," he said, "Wayfarer Malvarak wishes entry to your rooms."

"Let him in, please," Sabrina said, surprised.

"Boy, that was fast," Scotty said. "Is that good or bad?"

They all looked at Tirqwin. He said, "There is only one way Homeworld can respond to this. The message Malvarak would bring back was never in doubt."

"Should we go?" Éllina asked.

"No purpose can be served by your staying. At least, no purpose of mine," Tirqwin said, with a faint smile. "Sabrina may wish the company, however."

"No," Sabrina said, after a moment. "I think you had all better go and continue your planning. It's very important that you get it right tomorrow. I can't contribute much anyway, except that I'll happily be a witness for the defense."

"We are counting on it," Haaron told her. "Do you know whether Her Majesty plans to attend?"

"I don't know," Sabrina said. "I'm sure she wants to be there, but...well, her time's not her own."

"I know," Haaron replied, rising along with Éllina and Therenden. "Thank you for lunch, Sabrina, and we will see you tomorrow in Defense Control, then."

Therenden and Éllina said good-bye as well, filing out past Malvarak as he came in. Malvarak looked grim, not even acknowledging Scotty or Sabrina. The siblings looked from one Wayfarer to the other and slipped out of the room in unspoken accord.

"Whew," Scotty said, when they were safely shut in her study. "This is where it stops being fun, Rina. They're gonna throw the book at me and Haaron, and Tirqwin's gonna run out and face the firing squad no matter what any of us say."

"You're going to be all right, Scotty," Sabrina said, speaking with unusual vehemence to hide the tremor in her voice. "Maybe not in the military, but Mara won't let them do anything to you except throw you out. She'll take care of Haaron too."

"Yeah," Scotty said. He looked down at his polished boot for a moment, then said quietly, "Have you thought that Mara might not be in any shape to do anything pretty soon?"

Sabrina covered her face with her hands. "Yes." She took a deep breath, then sat down. "It may come to that. But we can't get out now, Scotty."

"I know. It'd be a crummy thing to do," he said. "Cowardly."

"Yes."

"Rina," Scotty said, after a long silence, "I think we oughta start thinkin' about—well, about whether what's best for the rest of us doesn't outweigh what's best for Tirqwin."

"Now you're talking like Mara."

"She's got a point."

Sabrina thought for a while. "Scotty, we can't bend Tirqwin to our will. If we do, it will break him. I would rather take the chance of what will happen without him than live with the sad person he'd become, knowing we did that to him. The guilt would be unbearable, for all of us."

"Yeah, but there's gotta be a way to change his mind. To get him to choose."

"Not for us." Sabrina sighed. "I've said all the words I can think of."

"And he sure won't listen to me," Scotty agreed. "Mm. Well, do you want me to stay until those two get done, or do you want me to go catch up to Haaron?"

"Maybe you'd better—" She broke off as the door opened.

It was Tirqwin, pale but composed, with a distracted air. Sabrina looked at him and knew that Malvarak had indeed brought the news of a sentence of death. Tirqwin had the air of a man focused on something just beyond their seeing—the air of a man looking death in the face. He was beyond all their problems now.

She looked away. She could not face his death so calmly, because she knew that for the rest of them it was not a solution, not an ending, but the beginning of deep and lasting suffering.

Scotty sensed it too. He cleared his throat uncomfortably and turned to go, sidling past Tirqwin as if he were already transforming into some strange, untouchable creature. But at the threshold he looked back, drawn by the possible finality of the moment, and said, "See ya around, Tirq."

Tirqwin seemed to shake his head a little, looking at Scotty with a quizzical sort of affection he usually reserved for Mara. "You have a great potential, Scotty. Do not waste it."

"Yeah. I won't. Thanks," Scotty said. He turned to go again, pausing only to murmur a half-stifled, "'Bye," as he left.

Sabrina sat staring at her tightly clasped hands, her knuckles white with strain. She wanted to look at Tirqwin, knew that he wanted her to look at him, needed her to look at him, but she was utterly unable to do so.

"I think it is easiest if I leave now," Tirqwin said.

Her gaze flew to his face, startled and alarmed. He looked away and continued, "Mara will not know; I have blocked her out. It has been easy to, today. She is so busy. When she does find out, she probably will not be in a state to deal with the Ministers or the Miahns, so I rely on you to convey my reasons to them. Malvarak is waiting for me on Khediva. We will go straight to Homeworld and initiate the severance immediately. Once it is started, it cannot be stopped. Mara knows this. If I do not leave, Homeworld will come for me, and it will mean war. You can see for yourself what that would mean to Praxatillus. Mara's life is not in danger, but her freedom is. In her first reaction she will be overcome by emotion and incapable of rational thought. She will need restraining. You must restrain her. For her own sake, and everyone's. She cannot help me; no one can. You can only help Praxatillus and yourselves now."

He paused, glancing at her. She was staring at her hands again, as if her life depended on her memorizing every detail. After a moment she managed to whisper, "Do you know what this will do to her?"

It seemed a long time before Tirqwin spoke. "Yes," he said, hoarsely. "But Mara is strong, stronger than she knows. She has the ability to be the greatest leader Praxatillus has ever had. My death will hurt her, yes. It may even damage her somewhat. But it will not destroy her. In time she will grow even stronger, learning to depend on herself alone. Until that time, you and Scotty must be there to support her."

Sabrina swallowed but was unable to speak. She nodded once.

"I also know," Tirqwin continued after a moment, "what I am doing to you. I know you are acting against all your instincts, and that I am misusing your compassion and your sense of justice in the most reprehensible way. I know that you will probably hate yourself for helping me. But remember, if you can, that I am suffering, and that your actions will help to alleviate my pain in a significant way."

Sabrina felt her heart break as he spoke. His calm told her how deep, how engulfing his pain was. She let out a single sob, then pressed her fists against her mouth to stop the others as hot tears streamed out of her tightly shut eyes.

Tirqwin came forward, laid his hands on her shoulders, and pressed a kiss into her hair, so tenderly that she knew it was meant for Mara. She thought she felt a tear drop as well.

"Good-bye, Sabrina," he whispered, and was gone.