Chapter 12.1

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"Look, my dear. I have a surprise for you."

Sabrina blinked against the light as the door to her room opened, then jumped up, crying, "Oh, Tirqwin, no!"

Malvarak gave a sardonic grin as Sabrina threw her arms around Tirqwin, biting off sobs of fear and relief. The ersatz Tirqwin returned the embrace gently, bending down to whisper in her ear. "You are not abandoned."

"I knew that," Sabrina whispered, her eyes tightly closed. "But oh, Tirqwin, why did you do it? How could Mara let you?"

He stepped back from her, smiled, and shifted back into Protian form.

Sabrina's jaw dropped, too stunned to draw breath for a gasp. Then, in a high, breaking-edge voice, she began to laugh.

Malvarak was dangerously still for a moment, staring at the Protian as if his disbelief would make it disappear. Catching a glimpse of him through her teary laughter, Sabrina felt a rush of victory and vindication. "I told you!" she said, triumph giving her voice strength. Her hands clenched in fresh determination. "Tirqwin will never give up, and you can't use me to make him!"

Malvarak's head slowly swiveled toward her, and she caught her breath as she saw the madness glinting in his eyes. With a wordless cry of rage, he flung himself at the Protian, which slid nimbly out of his grasp, altering its shape as it went.

"Malvarak! Stop!" Sabrina cried as Malvarak caught at the nearest extrusion of the fleeing Protian. It shifted into the shape of a snake and sped out the door, leaving Malvarak to howl in frustration.

"Malvarak, please!" Sabrina said, her eyes wide with terror, stepping toward the door herself. The last thing she saw was Malvarak's face, flushed with rage, as his hand came up and slammed her into the wall.

___________

A razor-thin line of blinding pain was Sabrina's first awareness, before she could even open her eyes. For a moment she didn't know where she was, or even who she was, and the blankness of her own mind terrified her. She gave a small whimper; even that made her head explode with pain.

"Ssh," a soft, familiar voice said, and a cool, wet cloth touched her forehead.

"Where—" she whispered.

"You're safe with me," the voice told her.

She blinked, struggling to focus. The dim light was a mercy as her eyes adjusted and she was able to identify Tirqwin's shape. "Tirqwin," she sighed.

"No, I'm afraid not. But I thought this shape might comfort you," the Protian said.

Sabrina closed her eyes again. "Oh, God," she moaned.

"Are you in much pain? I am not very familiar with the biology of oneshapers, and the memories of my last imprint are fading quickly."

"Your last...oh. Tirqwin imprinted on you."

"Yes. He was reluctant, but in the end he could think of no other way to rescue you."

"It would have worked if Malvarak had played fair," she said.

The Protian was silent.

"I think I'm okay. He just cracked my head against the wall. And I'll have one hell of a black eye, I think," she added, reaching up to gingerly touch the side of her face. "Ow."

"I am sorry," the Protian said.

"It's not your fault," Sabrina sighed. "Where's Malvarak?"

"I do not know. When he left you, I came back and got you and carried you here," the Protian said.

"Why?" Sabrina asked, struggling to sit up. After a dizzying moment, she abandoned the idea and lay back against the pillow.

"Because you were hurt," was the simple answer.

"Oh. Thank you." She closed her eyes until the dizziness subsided, then looked at the Protian again. "Did...do you still have much of Tirqwin's mind?"

"No. It is fading. He did not attempt a permanent imprint. In fact it was hardly an imprint at all; he gave me directions rather than trying to program me." The Protian cocked its head. "He is the first oneshaper I have encountered who respected me as an individual instead of seeing me as a tool. And he delivered me from my former imprint, which would, in time, have driven me truly insane instead of merely forcing me to act insane."

Sabrina stared at him, forcing her mind to work. The only Protian Tirqwin and Mara had access to was the one that had been imprisoned on Praxatillus. She gave a little gasp. "You're the one who impersonated me—who tried to kill Tirqwin!"

The Protian hung its head. "I did those things, but believe me, I did not want to. I was forced to by the mind that had imposed itself upon me."

Sabrina sighed again. "Could you...take some other shape, please? It's a little unnerving talking to someone who looks like Tirqwin but isn't."

"I understand." The Protian reverted to its normal state, its blue skin glowing in the dimness. Its face retained humanoid features, however, and it kept Tirqwin's grey eyes. Sabrina found that she didn't mind that much; the expression was so different.

"Do you have a name?" she asked.

"Usharn."

"Thank you for helping me, Usharn."

"I require no thanks, Sabrina. It seems that we are both captives; it is only right that we help each other."

"Right," Sabrina agreed. "Oh...if only my head didn't hurt so much. I can't think. Do you know this ship we're on?"

"No. It is different from the one I was on before."

"You mean Khediva?"

"No. The other ship, the one which took us away from our home."

"Yes. Who did take you away from your home?" Sabrina asked, feeling a rush of excitement. Whoever had taken this Protian had been behind Baldaran's assassination. If she could find out and somehow find a way to communicate with Mara....

"Ah, there you are."

The Protian cut off its reply and looked toward the door, where Malvarak stood, his face lined and exhausted. "I'm pleased to see you're recovering, Sabrina."

"Stay away from me," Sabrina retorted, managing to sit upright. "I think I've got a concussion."

"I am so sorry, my dear," he said, his tone contrite. "I lost my temper."

"No kidding!"

Malvarak spread his hands. "I am not the man I was, Sabrina. Sribarak's death hurt me in many ways, not all of which I am fully aware. I did not know I was prone to violence, or I would have kept you out of the way during my transactions with Elusha. I should have guessed he would resort to deviousness. Already he is becoming Miahn."

"He didn't do anything you didn't do!" Sabrina replied. She spoke louder than she meant to, and her head throbbed. She closed her eyes and tried to concentrate on a healing mantra she had learned on Allyria.

"Yes," Malvarak said thoughtfully. "I suppose we have, in our separate ways, both fallen a long way from the ideals that led us to become Tirqwins." He sighed, then said, "Come, Sabrina, forgive me. I have no wish to hurt you, and I am terribly sorry that I did."

"Oh, but what does a black eye and concussion matter when you're going to turn me over to the executioners?" she said bitterly.

"It matters to me," he said softly. "I will do what I must, Sabrina, and against Homeworld's orders I am powerless. But I regret it, and I regret hurting you even more. Come, let me take you to the infirmary and see what I can do to mend you."

Sabrina eyed him suspiciously. He looked sincere enough, and she was in tremendous pain and knew she needed treatment. "All right," she said. "If Usharn comes too."

"Usharn?" Malvarak said, looking at the Protian in surprise. Then he smiled. "Trust you, Sabrina, to make friends wherever you go. Come along, both of you, then."

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