What Happened to Cormac Li? ✔

/ 6 /

"Honey, are you sure you're ready to go back?"

I stared at the daunting building in front of me. It was bubbling with students and it made me sick how happy they were.

Of course I wasn't ready to go back. But if I wanted answers, I had to return. The school immediately went on Winter Break after Cormac's death, something that came by coincidence, so everyone had a chance to recuperate after that fateful day. This was the first day back for everyone after two weeks off. I had two more people on my list to ask about Cormac. Coach Peters and Evan Watts. I just prayed that talking to them led me somewhere.

  "Yeah... I'll see you later, Mom."

  "Tina will be waiting for you after school. She's very worried about you. I am too, sweetie."

I was avoiding Tina because she was becoming too clingy. She was annoyingly insistent that I 'let it all out' no realising that it had officially been sixteen days since the beginning of my tear drought. Thankfully, she had cheer practise before school and had to leave early so I didn't see her in the morning.

I knew my family were worried about me. I spent my two weeks off under the covers of my bed, only getting up to use the bathroom. I stared at the ceiling blankly for most of my time off but sometimes I went on Cormac's social media accounts to see if I could find any clues but I was none the wiser. On Christmas Day, my father practically dragged me to the dinner table but I returned to my room very quickly after they finished their plates. I also got up to look outside the window on New Year's Eve. I watched a few seconds of the fireworks going off but it hurt too much to see those little blue and green stars explode into a million pieces so I went back to bed with a sore heart.

  I ignored my mother as I continued to watch the student body go about with their everyday lives. Kathy M, Cormac's spring-fling date from last year was practically skipping in to school with her boyfriend, clearly forgetting how Cormac had kindly asked her to be his date after her boyfriend cheated on her. Patrick Rogers used to be a closeted football player before Cormac had a talk with him. Now he was holding hands with his boyfriend and flaunting his sexuality proudly, a sickening smile plastered on his face. How could anyone smile anymore?

"Tina said you could eat lunch with her if you want."

"Tina's a freshman."

My mother sighed for the hundredth time in their short conversation. She was slowly getting frustrated but I wasn't fazed.

"Emily, please be careful. And call me if you want to leave early."

  "Okay."

  I opened the door and swung my light bag onto my shoulder. Before closing it, I popped my head back into the car and met my mother's worried eyes.

  "Thanks...." I mumbled awkwardly.

  She half-smiled at me and I felt a small bit less guilty for how I had been treating her for the previous few days.

  As I walked up to the school door, I could feel people looking at me. They knew that there wasn't an Emily without her Cormac. What was left now was a gaunt remnant, void of the substance that makes one human.

  "Hey, Emily," 'B' said, coming up to me.

  He was wearing his football jersey, just like the rest of the team. There was meant to be a memorial for Cormac at the end of the day and and the entire football team was wearing their jerseys to honour him.

  I nodded in acknowledgment of his presence. The back of his jersey said Hudson but I was no where closer to remembering his first name.

"How was your break?"