What Happened to Cormac Li? ✔

/ 10 /

My eyes couldn't get passed the first two words of the letter wedged into the book.

  TO EMMY. TO EMMY. TO EMMY. TO EMMY. TO EMMY-

  The corner of the page was stained with an ink fingerprint. My finger hovered over it before my thumb pressed down on it. A thick black arch encircled my thumb.

  My eyes scanned the letter but I couldn't make sense of the words I was reading. Nothing made sense. It was gibberish because my brain had decided to suddenly flush any semblance of literacy down the toilet.

My cheek was wet. I had forgotten how it felt to cry but now I had opened pandora's box and I couldn't stop. Cormac's pillow was still wet from before and now my face was blotchy and I could barely see through the window of saline coating my eyes.

  I stuffed the letter into the book and the book into my bag. I wanted to savour it because those would be the last words Cormac would say to me and I wanted to hold onto them for as long as I could. Could the letter have held the answers I had been looking for the whole time? Maybe. Probably. But I didn't care. I would cash it in on a rainy day when I really needed his comfort or when the timing felt right because at that moment everything was off.

  "Cory..." I whispered in the dead boy's room, hoping his spirit was dancing around me. "I... I love you. And I don't know how I'm going to go on without you. But I'm going to try my best to live life to the fullest because... because I know that's what you would have wanted. It's what I want too. I'm going to try and talk to more people, I promise. You always encouraged me to open up more and I swear I will. I wish you had opened up more."

  I took the photos of us as well and held them safely in the breast pocket of my coat.

  "I forgive you, Cory. I'm sorry I couldn't help you."

  My eyes fell on the window and the sudden shift to twilight outside. Where had the time gone?

  "I'll take care of Evan too. I promise. Thank you for being the light in my life for the past fifteen years. I will always love you and miss you."

My fingers stroked the small intricacies of his room like the dent in the wall that came with a story Cory used to tell that had everyone in fits of laughter. Or all the novels he had that he always submerged himself into.

"I've found out a lot about you these past few weeks and for a while there I actually convinced myself I didn't know the 'real' you. But now I think I do. You were kind and generous and smart and you cared about others. You loved me and ice cream floats and the smell of freshly cut grass even though it would trigger your hay-fever. You were my best friend and I know for a fact that I was yours too so I did know you. And I know that I love you. And that you will always be engrained in my heart."

  I flicked the light switch off with my fingers. I was still crying.

  "Goodbye, Cory," I whispered before making my way downstairs and outside.

  Fresh air had never felt so good.

  I felt a sudden urge to hold my family and tell them I love them. My legs started running before I could even comprehend what I was doing. I ran to my house in record time, practically falling through the door.

  "Mom? Dad? Tina?"

  Tina appeared first with a concerned look on her face. "Where have you been? We were so worried. Joey texted Evan who said you had left hours ago and you weren't at school and-"

  I cut her off with a tight hug. It took a few seconds for her to reciprocate it but she did, albeit confusedly.

  "What... what happened? Are you okay?"