Take my breath away (EN)

Lost on you

Jane POV
"Actually, that's not all we're here to tell you," I say as I feel my heart begin to pound like a jackhammer in my heart.
"You'll forgive me if I take a sip of this first," I say, practically drinking half a goblet in a nanosecond. I need all the help I can get right now, I'm on a roll.
"Maura and I have decided to live together and I'm really pleased to see that you're happy about this, that you're happy for us, because we think it's a crucial step for our relationship. But there's something else, something that only one person knows in this place... and it's not you Maura" I conclude laughing, while you turn towards me, confused by what I'm saying... but don't worry, looking at who's around us you're not the only one.
"You don't know, because to do things right someone had to know it before you did," I continue, taking your hands and turning you to face me. I stare at my eyes in yours, trying to catch my breath, with a look that wants to ask you to trust me once more.

Maura POV
"I think loving you and being loved by you are the greatest blessings that could have happened to me in my whole life... having both makes me think that maybe I don't deserve this, but that I want to do everything I can to be worthy of it."
You're speaking from the heart, like I've never heard you do... and you're doing it here, in front of all the people we care about most. It has to be an incredible effort for you, but in your eyes I see absolute serenity.
I just don't understand why you're doing this, why now, until you let go of my hand to slip your into the jacket pocket... I can't believe it... as you kneel down... you're not really doing it... and you open that box... and everything around us disappears. "Maura Dorothea Isles...will you marry me?"
At these words I definitely don't understand anything anymore, I think I can't formulate a complete sentence... but I understand that you don't need a sentence, one word is enough.
"Yes... yes Jane, of course I'll marry you!" I answer your question, and without even giving you time to get up, I kiss you, taking your face in my hands, while you're still on your knees and I feel my legs give out, incredulous that this is really happening. Tears of joy fall from your eyes and flow onto my hands, you stand up and hug me.
"Thank you Jane, you couldn't have made me happier," I whisper. You kiss my cheek softly, before answering me, letting me feel your warm breath on my ear.
"You... you made me happy... saying yes!"
We pull away from that hug, and you finally get to put the ring on my finger. It's beautiful, nothing too showy, you know my tastes. In a moment everyone comes to congratulate us... but my curiosity never leaves me.
"Who did you mean when you said someone already knew?" I'm asking you while your mother's stabbing you in her embrace. You can only make a move with your head and I follow your gesture.
You were talking about Hope, who has been left out of that hugging and patting mess, so I deflect to go to her.
"Don't tell me she came to ask for my hand, because I don't believe that..."
"Actually that's exactly what she did... we were late picking you up after your medical checkup because not only did she ask if she could propose, but she wanted me to help her choose the ring," she tells me, wiping away the trail of happy tears that wet my face with her hand. I take it with my hand to hold it still close to my cheek.
"She loves you so much... and I know you will be protected and loved with her," and at her words the tears resume, and I embrace her, as any daughter would do with her mother, knowing she is on her side. Happiness is in full control of me, I never thought I could feel this way.

Jane POV
I manage to get rid of my brother and we sit back down, so I decide to buy another round of drinks for everyone. You take a seat next to me again and rest your hand on my leg, and I see that ring finally on your finger. I smile at you and you smile me back, our gazes meeting before you move even closer to me. I understand that you want to tell me something between you and me, so I bring my face towards yours.
"You asked Hope for my hand in marriage... really?" you laugh as you ask, then continue.
"Well, it seems like the logical choice... you know, if you'd gone to my father it was so probably that you'd have an awl in your chest!"
I'm surprised you can be ironic about this, but your laugh is unmistakable.
"Anyway, I don't know about you, but I wish I could go home... you know how it is... it's been an emotional night..." your voice left the irony of a few seconds ago and became lower, hoarse... seductive.
As if that wasn't enough you slide your hand slightly higher up my thigh, just enough to keep you from being noticed by others but to turn my neurons to jelly. We finish drinking our second round with them and then we defect, under the pretext of having to start working on my moving tomorrow. Too bad I don't even have the keys to my old apartment anymore... but they don't know that.

You don't seem to be able to resist me any more as soon as we get in the car, so I have to reprimand you a couple times to avoid the risk of an accident because of your hands on me. We get home and I think I've hit the throttle a little bit, because in a few minutes we're home. We go in and the first thing you do is take off your shoes... apparently you're not used to wearing them so high anymore, dear "Doctor Five-Inch Heels". I hang my jacket at the coat rack at the entrance, while I hear your voice from the kitchen asking me if I want some wine.
I don't have to drive, and I really want to celebrate this night's events with my girlfriend, so of course I say it's okay.
"I think it's time to open this", you say, picking up a bottle from the middle shelf on the right side of the fridge. There I learned that you keep your most valuable "pieces", the ones to open only for really special occasions. Well, I'd say if this isn't, then I don't know which one might be.
You open it and pour the champagne into the glasses, with such grace in your movements.
"I'd say to toast to us... to our future together... and to you never ceasing to surprise me. I love you Jane," you proclaim, after handing me my glass.
"I love you too Maura" and I kiss you before I drink... wow, this wine seems to be from another planet than what we had earlier with the others. We decide to sit on the couch, taking the bottle and glasses with us. I sit first and you settle down beside me, taking my arm and bringing it over your shoulders, surrounding yourself with it.

"I never thought you could make a gesture like that... don't get me wrong, not that you're not a romantic person... but you must have had a lot of guts, weren't your legs shaking?" you ask me.
"Not really... I mean asking your mother for permission to do that, yes, it was one of the most terrifying things I've done. But to ask you not... I admit it's true what they say, which is that the seconds between when you ask the question and when you hear the answer seem to last for years!" I burst out laughing as I say it, and you smile looking at the ring on your finger.
"I even asked your mother to come with me to choose it... even though I knew it was the right one as soon as I saw it. I hope you like it..."
"She told me about it... and yes, it's wonderful", you say, turning to kiss me.
"You are wonderful", I say, before I join my lips to yours. I feel you take the glass from my hand and put it on the table before you turn to me again. In a moment your mouth is on mine again, while your hand caresses my neck, my chest... it only stops when it feels my heart is doing overtime.
You open the first button of my shirt and gently rest your lips just below my collarbone. With my hand I go up your back, all the way to the nape of your neck. You bend your head to my movement, follow my fingers caressing you...you seem to be at the total mercy of my simple touch, your eyes half-closed, as if you want to perceive every single stimulus that this contact generates in you. I can't resist, so I take you in my arms and carry you upstairs to your room: I want to practice for when I carry you across the doorstep the day you officially make an honest woman of me.

We slip under the blankets and as soon as our bodies touch each other, it triggers... that transport, that passion, which we can't control and which makes me feel so helpless... and as you kiss me I find myself thinking that we have struggled so long against our feelings, against ourselves for the simple fact of feeling them... but here we are, while I am making you mine, as you sigh for my name, under the thrust of the pleasure I am giving you. "Jane is everything okay?" You tell me, feeling that all of a sudden I just freeze.
I can't answer you, too caught up in the thoughts running through my head right now, caught up in that subtle feeling of your body touching my skin.
You place your hand on my arm and see the ring. You said yes, you want to spend the rest of your life with me... and that seems too much happiness for one heart. I thought long and hard about the proposal, about how to do it, about finding a way to ask your mother for her blessing... but I never thought about how I would feel afterwards.
I never doubted that your answer would be yes, or rather it never even occurred to me that you might say no. Well luckily, because I probably would've panic... which I'm doing now, apparently, but what's wrong with you, Jane?
"Hey, I'm here and I'll be with you for the rest of my life, Jane", you whisper to me, as if you wanted to chase away the thousand thoughts in my mind, when you realized that my eyes were fixed on the ring.
"Okay, maybe that sounds like a threat" you tell me, making me laugh and dissolving my tension. You're ready to take this step with me, and if the super-analytical, rational Maura Isles is ready to do it, I have no reason to doubt. I return to dedicate myself totally to you, and we make love, calmly... until our passion permeates the room... until the desire for each other becomes a unique weave with the thin threads of the sheets covering us... until I lose all of myself in you, without there being any more an 'I' or 'you' but simply a 'us'.