Take my breath away (EN)

Comfort zone

Jane POV
I keep looking at the board with the crime-scene photos to try to get to the bottom of this case. When Korsak came into the office, he sees my tiredness and tells me to go home. We've given enough for today. My head doesn't really connect much... better get back on the case in the morning, fresh in mind.

I'm going out of the station when I hear the elevator doors open and an unmistakable sound of heels. You're probably the only one in the whole department who wears heels to work all the time. You say hello, to get my attention, and I'll stop and wait for you.

"Oh my God, Jane, you look like hell... bad day?" "Thanks, Maura. You always know how to cheer me up," I say sarcastically.

"I have an idea to make your evening better..." you tell me, like you're about to give me some exciting news.

"How about a pizza and movie night?"

Despite the tiredness, I feel I need to switch off and have some relax. But I know your taste, and I don't think I could handle a romantic period piece.

"I'll choose the movie, though..." I make this clear, bossy.

"All right, as long as you don't propose me a 007 movie with Sean Connery again," you say with negotiation spirit.

"But..." I say to you, pride-wounded. I forced you to see them all.

"That's a deal!" you say yielding. You know it's the kind of movie that always cheers me up and you know from my face that I really need it.

I arrive at your house after stopping at the video rental, and when you open me I wave the DVD in front of your eyes as if I had the trump card in my hand.

"Tonight I amaze you, Doctor. I brought you a 007 film... but starring Daniel Craig!" and as soon as I say those words trying to maintain an MI6 agent aplomb, you burst out laughing. You let me in, and a few minutes later, the pizza comes. Open a bottle of wine and we'll make ourselves comfortable on the couch to eat it, starting the movie. During the more intense scenes, I see you try to keep yourself from closing your eyes, almost embarrassed to show that you are not comfortable with the shooting scenes. I, on the other hand, can't enjoy it like crazy.

After we finished our dinner, you start to feel a little cold, so go get a blanket and spread it over our legs. At one point, I don't know if it's the sweet warmth or the eyes getting heavier and heavier, I fall asleep.

Maura POV
No longer hearing your enthusiastic comments at every explosion, I turn around and see you nodded off. Your face now is relaxed, different from when I saw you today on your way out of work. You had the classic expression of when you can't get to the bottom of a case: you're too stubborn and adamant with yourself to admit you can't always find the solution on the first try. We are very much alike in this, although science has helped me to understand that certain answers need time.

You only need a few minutes to get a heavier sleep, I understand why you move trying to find a more comfortable position and you snuggled up next to me. And little remains of the strong, imperturbable Jane. I see that Jane that only I was lucky enough to know again. You were actually trying to hide this side of yourself also from me. How I miss those moments. I wish I didn't miss them so much, because what you did hurt me. I've been racking my brain trying to figure out the reasons for your behaviour. In one fell swoop, I'd lost my best friend and the love of my life. I couldn't accept it. You move your head in your sleep and a lock of hair slides in front of your face. I take it away, and while I'm doing it, I caress your cheek. Just the touch of your skin gives me a chill.

Yet you seem to be a magnet to me, there's a force drawing me to you. You're still turning over in your sleep when your face rests on the back of the sofa and turns towards me. It seems like you're looking at me, also with your eyes closed. My breath accelerates, the serenity of your face reminds me why I fell in love with you: just because of this side of you, inaccessible to the rest of the world. I caress your cheek again, gently... I don't want to risk waking you. This moment seems to be a gift for me, to give me a moment of joy after all that has happened. And I don't know how, I can't resist and put my lips on yours. Just that touch is enough to make me retrace in my mind all the most significant moments of us... when I realized I felt something more, the night we made love for the first time, our weekends away from everything and everyone... our breakup, the half-told truths... the choice to stay here. I gently peel my lips from yours, and I notice you're still asleep.

You'll never know about this moment. I'm not ready to start over with you, I'm afraid... to suffer like I did, afraid that you're not ready to face the judgment of others for us... maybe even I am not ready to do this yet. You ran away once, you chose the easy way... you chose for both of us. One day maybe this fear will go away. And we'll be able to be back together.