26.Realisation

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Ed: I am married....so wanted to clarify that I am not interested in any other kind of relationship...

Scott: I know and I am not expecting anything just wanted to help...

Ed agreed to stay with doctor Scott...

At night Ed sleep in Scott's home and in a dream ...he started shouting ....leave me bastard please....aaahhh Type ...mom... it's paining noooooo....he scream in pain when Scott came running....he saw Ed is in the corner of the room crying ....every night he feels the pain in his dream what he experienced that night physically it won't but mentally it hurts every night....

Scott came close and hugged him to console Ed..... in starting Ed didn't accept Scott's touch but soon he realized this is a caring one...

Ed is somehow surviving his days he didn't pick a call from Type coz his mental condition was worst....That time he can't think of anyone....though he cares for Type but his condition was so bad that he can't even think of type...how is he ..he is eating or not...is he alone or something....

After sometime Ed returned to Thailand ... it took few days to make up his mind that it's not Type's mistake and type needs his love and care ....but when it comes to sex ...Ed didn't have the guts to do it....he did once or twice for the sake of type ....thinking type need it ....it's his right but Ed didn't felt anything ...even he started getting irritated....

After few days Ed again went to Parris asking Tharn to take care of Type ....he went to a psychiatrist and told him everything...

Doctor asked him to take it to slow a physical relationship...

Several days passed but Ed's condition has become worse..he got hospitalized for panic attacks....staying with Scott ...Ed and Scott have become friends...

Ed: Scott please give me strong pills I wanted to sleep....it's been days when I didn't sleep...else do something ..my married life is at stake and I can't hurt my Type more...

Scott: I have a treatment but I don't think you are ready for this...this is a therapy which we used in intense cases and it's not allowed..coz the success rate is very low and the person or their relatives filed a case against hospital and doctors....

Ed: then do it unofficially...I won't tell anyone but the Scott please help me...I can't go through the pain again and again...

Scott: first listen what is the treatment....in this, the patient has to go through the same trauma again but differently...

Ed: what do you mean??

Scott: I mean now when you sleep the same incident comes in your dream coz you are stuck there...you think that someone will do this again with you ...but this is not true...dreams are nothing but whatever we have in our mind or in subconscious mind...you think of the pain you got when you were raped so you don't trust people...you don't drink and you feel unsafe in hotels and you are even sleeping less....

I have a proposal if you let me have sex with you...maybe you can change your thinking...

Ed: have you lost your mind or what?? I am married and I don't go bottom...

Scott: Yes I understand but think of the same thing ...if you start looking at your Dream with a different eye ...you will understand nothing can scare you...

Ed didn't agree to all this ....but day by day there is no change in his situation so he agreed to try it...

He felt too bad that he is cheating on Type but now his condition is too bad ....

Ed let Scott enter him but while doing it Ed cried like hell with every inch he can remember what that person did with him...

Scott: shhh it's me...nothing will happen shh Ed ...always remember I am with you...

Ed: It's paining....

Scott: it won't please trust me...

Ed cried like hell when Scott fully entered....

Scott: now you won't remember anything bad.. Scott started stroking and Ed realized that how much he enjoys himself down....

After that day Ed and Scott did it again and again...and Ed stopped dreaming about getting raped coz he can remember the amazing experience which he is receiving from Scott...they both didn't realise when slowly steady they are falling for each other...

3 months later

Scott: Ed I confessed my feelings to you ...you also realized you only love Type as a friend...you even curse yourself every day for cheating Type ...then why didn't you divorce him and come to me....

Ed: yes I realised that why I never enjoyed my sex life coz I am a bottom...I love you inside me ...and the way I feel for you ...I never felt for type...but this will not change the fact that Type is my best friend....he is such an innocent and caring person ..

But he don't have anyone in this world Scott except me... he call my parents as his parents and  ...if I divorce him...he will never stay in my house ..and lose all relationship...

So I won't let type leave thar house....I can't tell him that I got raped ....he will blame himself...which I can't see...I can't tell him that I don't love him or not what he is expecting me to be...coz he will be disheartened ....and for my sake, he will divorce me...again he will leave the house too...

So I have made a plan to make him hate me...and let my parents know that I am not a good husband ...Type has lots of patience but if he loses it ..he will react and that time my parents will trust him and let him stay... Everything will be alright....

Scott: But what if your parents hate you and throw you out of your home ..??

Author's Note

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