Connor's Sister (sam pottorff fanfiction)

Chapter 41.

**WARNING THIS CHAPTER GETS A LITTLE EMOTIONAL AT THE END SO GET SOME TISSUES**
~Jo's POV~
"I love you jo" kenny said looking at me. I hugged him as he hugged back.
"I-i uhm" i stuttered, not sure what to say.
"Its okay. I understand if you don't know what to say. You did just break up with sam" he said
"Thank you kenny" i said pulling away.
"Your welcome" he said. I laid down across the top of the car and just looked at the stars. Kenny did the same which made me smile. I felt his hand collide with mine so i looked at our hands. I looked back up at the sky and watched for a while.
"We should get back before people start looking for you" Kenny said
"Yeah. Lets go. And uhm, dont speak about tonight?" I said
"Speak about what?" He said smiling. I hit his arm lightly and stood up. I helped kenny up and he jumped off the car. I held his hand as i dis the same. We walked inside and everyone looked at us.
"Shit" i whispered.
"What?" I asked
"Where were you guys?" Tyler asked
"Outside talking. Is there something wrong with that?" I asked
"No" they all said and i nodded. I walked over to the table and grabbed a chip. Right before i put it in my mouth i felt hands on my shoulders.
"AH" I yelled as i turned around.
"AUSTIN!" I said hugging him tightly.
"Hey" he said
"Hi" i said
"I thought you were on tour?" I said pulling away
"I am. But matt texted me saying they were having a party for your birthday and how could i not go to my best friends birthday party?" He said
"I-i just can't believe your here" i said
"Happy birthday!" He said. I hugged him again and smiled. I pulled away and looked at sam across the room.
"What are you looking at" he asked
"Oh uhm, nothing nevermind" i said looking back at austin.
"Well imma go see when we can open presents cause im like really eager to" i said
"Oh yeah here" austin said handing me a blue bag.
"Thank you austin" i said kissing his cheek.
"Your welcome" he said. I walked over to kian and jumped on his back.
"Woah" he said almost falling. He pushed me up to his waist and i smiled.
"Hey kiannn" i said
"Yess?" He asked
"When can we oped presents?" I asked
"Whenever you would like birthday girl" he said
"Yayy lets do it now" i said
"Okay. Bring them all down they are in your room" kian said putting me down.
"Okay" i said running over to kenny.
"Can you help me?" I asked
"With what" he said
"Helping me bring all my presents down from my room" i said
"Sure" he said. I grabbed his arm and brought him upstairs. We walked in my room to find presents from everyone on my bed. i love all of the guys so much. I walked over to my bed until i saw a little box on my nightstand. I picked it up and kenny walked over to me. I looked on the bottom and there was a little piece of paper.
'To: Jo:)
From: Sam:('
"Should i open it now?" I asked
"Yeah. Cause we dont know if he wants the whole house to see it" he said
"True" i said taking the ribbon off and opening it slowly. I looked at what it was and i was a little confused. It was a little plastic dolphin that had blue water inside it and a smaller pick dolphin in it too. There was a note so i picked it up and read it.
'Jo,
I just wanted to say im so sorry for everything i did. Tell kenny im sorry too. I really didnt mean to do what i did. I feel so bad. I feel bad for everything i did in the beginning. We got that dolphin together the first day we met. I found it in a draw in your room at the old o2l house. I decided to wait until your birthday to give it to you. I love you to goldilocks and back. I have ruined our relationship for the 3rd time now i think. And your probably thinking that thats not a lot but to me it is. You mean so much to me. Your what kept me together. I could go to you whenever i had to talk to someone. I trusted you with everything. I hope you have a great birthday because you really deserve it. Im not sure if ill still be alive right now or not but i just wanted to tell you that you were my everything and i love you more than i love my family. Bye.
-Sam'
I put it down and instantly started bawling. I turned around and hugged kenny. He hugged back and i just cried into his chest.
"Its going to be okay" he said
"No its not. Hes going to try to kill himself.I dont think i can live without him. We have to find him. Lets go" i said taking his hand and pulling him to sams room. He wasnt in there to i walked over to his bathroom. I looked at kenny and then opened the door. Sam was sitting there on the floor crying with a knife in his hand holding it to his neck.
"SAM" i said running over to him and taking the knife out of his hand. I threw it in the shower and hugged him the tightest i could ever hug him.
He just hugged back and cried. I rubbed his back and cried with him.
"Why would you do this sam" i asked
"Because. Your mad at me and i cant live with the person i care about most hating me" he said
"I dont hate you and im not mad. Im just disappointed" i said. I pulled away and looked at him.
"Im disappointed because i thought after the first break up, that you wouldnt do anything like that again. But you did, with matt, and now kenny" i said
"Im sorry" he said
"I know" i said. I kissed the top of his head and helped him up.
"Your lucky i found you now or it would have been too late" i said
"Yeah, thanks for that" sam said
"Now wipe your tears and come downstairs cause im opening presents now" i said
"K. Oh and kenny, im sorry bro. Your actually a really cool guy i didnt mean to do what i did" sam said
"Its okay dude i get it. I probably would have done the same thing" kenny said
"So we cool?" Sam asked
"Yeah" kenny said
"Yayy i love yous" i said hugging them both.
"I love you too" they both said.
"Ok get ready and meet me and kenny downstairs" I said
"K" sam said. I took kenny's arm and pulled him into my room. We grabbed all the presents and took them downstairs. We put them all on the floor and I sat down next to kian. Kenny sat next to me on the other side and kian wrapped his arm around my shoulder. Sam came down and sat next to jc. Everyone looked at me and I just sat there.
"Open mine first" jc said
"Which one" I asked
"The blue one" he said. I grabbed the big blue one and ripped off the wrapping paper. I was honestly so surprised by what he got me.
"Jc..you didnt" I said
"I did" he said. I looked down at the new cannon camera and tripod.
"Thanks so much jc" I said walking to him and hugging him.
"Your welcome. Now we can film together" jc said. I pulled away.
"Yayy" I said. I sat back down and smiled.
"Now mine" kenny said grabbing his and smiling. He handed it to me and I took it. I took the wrapping paper off and looked at him. It was a box of candy, a little stuffed duck, and a bunch of little Polaroid pictures we took together. I looked back at it and smiled.
"Thank you kenny" I said hugging him tightly. We stayed there for about 2 minutes before kian interrupted.
"Eh hem" he said
"Oh sorry" I said pulling away.
"Now miness" Kian said handing me his. I took it and opened the box. It had purple wrapping paper and a little bow that he failed at tying. I laughed a little and ripped the paper. There was a box that had my name on it. I smiled and opened the box. There was a shoe box and a littler box next to it. I opened the shoe box first. There was a pair of converse with little pictures of me and Kian all over them.
"Aww Kian these are so cool I love them" I said hugging him.
"Now open the other box" he said pulling away. I reached in the box and grabbed the smaller one. It had a little ribbon on it so I took it off and opened it slowly. There was a bracelet and a pair of earrings. The bracelet was silver and had a piece of metal that had 'Kians cool' engraved on it. I laughed and Kian hugged my shoulder. I turned to him and hugged him.
"I'm never taking this off" I said. Everyone laughed and I opened the rest of them.
-
When I finished opening all of the presents we threw all of the wrapping paper in the garbage. We just continued to do whatever until kenny walked up to me.
"Hey, I just wanted to say I'm sorry" he said
"For what?" I asked
"For kissing you earlier. I can tell you still have feelings for sam, I just wasn't thinking right" he said looking down. I hugged him tightly and he just sat there. I pulled away and looked at him. His fingers were in his pockets except for his thumbs.
"Oh come on what's wrong" I said
"I just feel wrong for doing that" he said
"It's fine kenny. If it wasn't right for you to do that I would have stopped you. But I didn't" I said and He looked up at me.
"Are you sure?" He asked
"Uhhg" I said. I went on my toes and kissed him lightly.
"Does that answer your question?" I asked
"Uhm..i uh.." he said. I laughed and hit his arm.
"Are you okay" I said And
"I uh I don't really know" he said
"We'll get your stuff together cause we're eating cake soon" I said. I walked past him and over to the table where matt was standing.
"You ready for cake?" Matt asked
"Yess" I said
"K cool" he said. He walked to the fridge and pulled out a cake with a picture of one of the pictures I posted on Instagram on it. I smiled as matt placed it on the table.
"CAKE!" Matt yelled over the music in the background. Everyone came in and Jack takled me(Johnson).
"JOHNSON GET OFF OF ME" I yelled
"Nahh" he said sitting on my stomach.
"Please? I wanna eat cake before I throw up" I said
"Oh well you could have said something" he said standing up. He helped me and and I punched his arm.
"Oh sorry" I said sarcastically. We just laughed and walked back over to the table. Matt cut the cake and gave me the first piece.
"How is It" Shawn asked
"Amazing" I said
"Well, I picked it out so huh Creds to me" Shane said.
"Well you have great cake taste shane, thank you" I said
"Your welcome" he said. Matt passed out the rest of the pieces and we all ate. When we finished I walked into the living room and sat down. I put my head in my hands as I thought. Everyone started sitting down with me, and I had to be alone to think. I got up and walked into my room. I looked at the dolphin sam gave me and picked it up. I just held it for a while and thought about what has happened in the past summer. And how it's ending soon. I thought of something that made me immediately completely confused. I walked over to my bed and sat against the frame of it. I held my knees in my arms and rested my chin on my knees. I held the dolphin in my hands and I just looked at it. I heard a knock on the door but I just ignored it. I heard the door open but I didn't bother to look at who it was. They sat next to me and wrapped their arm around my shoulder.
"What's wrong?" Sam asked
"I feel like I messed this whole summer up for all of you" I said
"Why would you think that? Your one of the best things that's ever happened to us" he said
"Because. It's not really everyone but like you, and matt, and kenny and austin" I said
"Why?" He said
"Cause. I went out with you, then went out with austin, then kissed matt, then kissed kenny" I said.
"Wait, you kissed kenny?" He asked
"Shit uhm..yeah I kinda kissed Kenny. When we were outside. But just forget about that for now" I said
"I'll try" he said
"I just feel like a slut. And like I used you guys but I didnt, or I wasn't trying to..i don't know" I said starting to cry.
"Oh" sam said
"maybe if you didn't kiss so many people you wouldn't have ruined our summer" I heard him mumble
"Oh so now your blaming me? I thought you were trying to help me" I said standing up
"I'm sorry" he said
"No. I'm sick of your sorrys sam. You messed up. And you mess up a lot. I know I ruined you guys' summer. And I'm sorry. I can already imagine what your summers would have been like if I didn't come. I can't wait for summer to end" I said leaving the room. I walked into Matt's room and just walked in circles. I went in the bathroom and fixed my makeup. I took a deep breath and walked out. I sat down on Matt's bed and just thought..
'What would have happened if I never came this summer?' 'What would have happened if I never got together with sam?' I just thought until everyone came in. Everyone.
"Are you okay?" Kenny asked sitting next to me.
"Yeah. I'm just confused a little. But I'll be fine" I said. I looked up and saw sam with a really sad face on.
"I just want to say a few things to a couple of you" I said
"Sam, I'm sorry. I'm sorry for anything I did to hurt you. I'm sorry for yelling at you. I'm sorry for just everything" I said
"Matt, I'm sorry. I'm sorry for kissing you and running. I feel like a bitch. I'm just sorry for everything"
"Kian, I'm sorry. I'm sorry for hurting you. I'm sorry for bringing out the worst in you. I'm just sorry for everything"
"Austin, I'm sorry. I'm sorry for not noticing your feeling for me. I'm sorry for running away on stage. I'm sorry for embarrassing you. I'm just so so sorry for everything"
"Kenny, I know we didn't meet too long ago but you've really earned a spot in my heart. But I'm still sorry. I'm sorry for that day we met and I was on the phone with sam. I'm sorry I never told you I had a boyfriend. I'm sorry for how you felt that day. I'm just so sorry for everything" I said.
"And to everyone else I didn't mention, I'm sorry. I'm sorry for coming into your life. I know you would have been better without me. I'm sorry for everything" I said. I stood up and walked out. I walked downstairs and grabbed my penny board. I put my phone in my pocket and walked outside. I walked down the street and started to ride. I rode down streets and just thought about how everyone's lives would have been so much better without me. I got so lost in my thoughts that I didn't notice that I had no clue where I was. I continued to ride around until I found this little abandoned playground. I rode over to it and put my board against the slide. I walked over to the swing and sat down. Once I sat down the chain immediately snaps making me fall on the ground.
"Great" I said. I stood up and walked over to the slide. I sat on top of it and started to cry until It started raining.
"Oh my god" I said. I just sat there and sobbed. I guess I deserve this. Speaking that I ruined 18 lives. I just don't know what to do. I'm so confused. A random guy rode past me on his bike and just looked at me like I was going crazy. I mean I kind of am but..oh ill just stop thinking now. I heard a car drive up and stop. Uhg I don't want to see anyone right now. Kian walked out of the car and walked over to me. He sat next to me and put his arm around my shoulder. I laid on his shoulder as he rubbed my arm.
"You didn't ruin our summer, or our lives" he said
"Yes I did"

**A/N**
Hi sorry for the sad chapter:(
QOTD:
Do you guys like this story? Should I end it?
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Enjoy!💙
-Jo🐳