In my dim shadow and the dusk of the bar, the beer seems darker than amber. I finish my glass in one gulp. On the bottom, a few droplets glint as fading sparks.
For a change, I order two cocktails. I know every possible taste of alcohol. Every colour. How she seduces you. Sets on fire and douses. Alcohol is a muse, a siren. She sings and allures me in the shadows of bars. I let her allure me, even though I see her teeth.
The cocktail is blood-red. Red as the blood of Abel on the ground. Red and then brown and then a stain and then nothing, but I still saw it. I saw it and I remember my hand on his cheek, how my skin tingled, how he spat blood on the ground, how he looked at me, but still didn't see me.
"Kain!" my mother shouted.
"Kain!" my father shouted. "Where is your brother? What did you do?" They looked at me, but didn't see me, didn't listen.
I always listened to them, but not anymore. No, I take the wax out of my ears and I hear the siren in me sing. I only listen to her, for she is the only one who sees me and listens to me. She invites me with wide-open arms and I plunge in the amber-coloured water. And I never crash on glasses, on a mirror that only shows me what others see, because there's always more water, water that shows me what I see.
I drown the other images and voices and spit them out over sidewalks and flowers and toilets and floors. I numb them with painkillers and they numb my brain till it chokes. Drowns.
I forget who Kain was. I'm not Kain, not that man.
The siren sings and her blood-red teeth glint. I listen and she embraces me. She warms my bones, soothes the trembles of my hand.
I drink till I'm warm and no longer tremble. Till I forget I was ever a man. Till amber becomes black and I only hear the siren sing.
I have never listened so eagerly.
***
Author's Note: This is another translation of a literary piece I wrote for my writing club based on the prompt "I have never listened so eagerly". It was quite difficult to translate because of things like alliterations or plays on words, but I think I managed. Let me know if there's something that didn't sound right!
While this story is mostly about alcohol addiction, it also includes some Bible references (though changed because I hint Kain didn't actually kill Abel) and implicit trans representation, though you could also interpret it differently.
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Discrimen (LGBT+)
Short Storydiscrimen (Latin), discrimin-is, neuter 1. distance, separation 2. distinction, difference Hold your head high and be proud if you can. Let our differences be what binds us, what enriches us. Not what divides us, for if we want to confront others' p...
