Discrimen (LGBT+)

A casual dinner conversation

"I'm dating someone."

The scraping of cutlery against plates halts and three gazes lock on Jordi, who is crushing his potatoes.

Emily is the first to break the silence: "You. Dating." She pulls up her eyebrows. "Where the fuck did you find someone willing to date you? You're joking, right?"

"No." More often than not, he can hardly believe it himself, but it's not that unbelievable he's dating someone, isn't it? Why does Emily always have to break him down?

His father throws her a warning look. "Who's the lucky girl then?"

"I'm not dating a girl."

"You're gay?!"

"Not really."

"But you're dating a boy!"

"I'm not dating a boy."

"So it is a joke then."

"No."

"But you're not dating a girl and you're not dating a boy. Who are you dating then? A Martian? Someone twice your age?"

"You're not dating some old man, right?" mum enquires. It's the first thing she has said since he dropped the bomb.

"No. They're twenty-two. We met in the university library. We both needed the German dictionary."

"What do you mean then, when you say they're neither a girl nor a boy?" Jordi glances at his mother. He can't read her expression, but she doesn't sound judging."

"They're called Reese. They're non-binary."

"Non-binary? What kind of shit is that?" Jordi sighs. He didn't expect anything else from Emily than those rude questions. She may be the older one, but he's definitely more mature. She's the prime example of girls who don't mature faster than boys, or maybe it's the other way around and he's the abnormal one. That's more likely.

"Emily! Give him the time to explain and be polite to your brother!" dad scolds.

"Non-binary means they don't fit in our traditional binary gender boxes. Some people feel like they're neither male nor female, some feel like both, some are gender fluid. It's everyone who doesn't clearly identify as male or female."

"So you're saying she's transsexual."

"No. Transsexuals are not necessarily non-binary. There may be a discrepancy between their biological sex and their gender, but they can still clearly identify as male or female. And please, don't use female pronouns. Reese doesn't like it and they often feel more male than female."

"So, she ... They," dad begins, "were born as a boy."

"No. They have a more feminine appearance."

"So you're still straight."

"Not really. The most appropriate label is probably pansexual – or panromantic – but I don't really care. And we're both demisexual."

"What's that?" mum frowns.

"Demisexual?"

"Both."

"Pansexual just means you're attracted to any gender, not just male and female. I think it's sometimes also used for people who fall in love with a trans person. Demisexual means you only experience sexual attraction after you've established a deeper connection, some kind of bond with someone. It's a form of asexuality." Jordi is already tired of the conversation. He wishes he could just get up and call Reese and listen to their breathing.

"Okay. What's then the difference between pansexual and ... panromantic?"

"Pansexual is about sexual attraction, panromantic about romantic attraction. If you're asexual, you can still have a romantic preference. There's also something like demiromantic, which means you only experience romantic attraction after you've established that bond."

"That's a load of bullshit. They're probably just picky. Those ... demisexuals too. As if there's a difference between romantic and sexual attraction. I bet all those asexuals are just prudes who are ashamed of their body." Jordi has never longed so much to be able to give a witty comeback, but the words don't come. He eats the last of his potatoes in hope to swallow the lump in his throat with them. It's more out of frustration than hurt, frustration that her words still affect him, but he doesn't want her to think he is weak. Which frustrates him even more, for why does he care what she thinks of him?

"Emily. You're playing with fire, girl. I won't tolerate any more of those homophobic comments. I may not know much about it, but if Jordi identifies as any of that, I will not question him."

"Dad! I'm not homophobic! Gays can do whatever they want. I just think all those other labels they made up, are utter bu- ... rubbish. And I still don't believe that antisocial boy managed to get a girlfriend."

"They're not a girl."

"Emily!" mum berates. "I don't want to hear another word from that mouth of yours till we're done speaking with Jordi." Emily grumbles but starts finishing her plate without further remarks. I'm grateful for the few seconds of silence.

"Jordi, how long have you known Reese then?"

"A year and a half, but we only started dating a month ago."

"Where does ... do they live?"

"Literally within walking distance from the university. Three streets maybe? They still live with their parents."

"Do you want to bring them over sometime?" Dad stares at Jordi much too intensely.

"I'll ask."

"Do you have a photo?" Jordi glances up. Mum smiles gently. He pulls out his phone and looks for the one where half of Reese's face was in the shadows and the other half highlighted by the sun, their hair a mess of gleaming black curls barely covering their nape. Dad and mum smile broadly and even Emily takes a curious peek.

"They look nice. I'm sincerely happy for you."

"Thank you."

The scraping of cutlery against plates fills the silence that follows. Jordi smiles.

***

Author's Note: This story was originally written to support #UnlimitedPride. I'll honestly confess I don't like this story all that much because the coming-out concept is kind of cliché, I don't like the ending and it's not fleshed out as it should. However, I couldn't work out a better idea, because I had exams till June 28 and this was the only idea I knew I could write fast enough. I hope to come back to this story sometime in the future to improve it and give it the attention it deserves.

Also, I'm not sure everything in Jordi's explanation is right since I didn't have the time for research (I'm cisgender, though not straight), but people in real life make mistakes regarding all the terminology, so characters do as well. For now, I'll just include a few definitions from the Oxford English Dictionary:

pansexual: 'Not limited in sexual choice with regard to biological sex, gender, or gender identity' (in contrast to bisexual: 'Sexually attracted not exclusively to people of one particular gender; attracted to both men and women')

transgender: 'Denoting or relating to a person whose sense of personal identity and gender does not correspond with their birth sex'

transsexual: 'A person who emotionally and psychologically feels that they belong to the opposite sex'