How You Love To Hate me

CHAPTER 18

Jungkook POV:


After Lisa fell asleep, I tried to get out to get back downstairs, but whenever I tried to remove my hand, she would move and I was afraid she would wake up again, so instead I just stayed like that and before I knew it, I had also fallen asleep. And let me tell you, that night I had barely got any sleep, the first time I woke up was when she had taken all my blanket and whenever I tried to pull it back she would tug on it harder, it was like she was having an invisible fight in her sleep. Whilst doing so I heard her whisper in her sleep, "Mi Sun let go of me", "Let go of it" or "I'll go to his party later, let me sleep."

The second time, was when I had almost fallen off the bed because she had taken up so much space on the bed. She had somehow turned a 180 on the bed, so her head was now on the opposite side of the bed. Now I understand why she has a huge bed. She had then hugged my legs and sprawled her legs across my face. I couldn't go to sleep after that, since she kept on kicking my face, so cautiously, I got out of bed and dragged her by the legs back round. I then decided it would be best if I just slept on the floor, but the moment I put one leg on the floor, she had somehow grabbed me by the waist and hugged me back to sleep. And that's how we stayed.
Lisa POV:

When I wake up, I don't open my eyes, but keep them closed because I can just sense something is wrong. I feel weird and my instincts tell me something isn't right. This isn't my bed. Well, that's because it isn't. Usually, my hands are on my pillow, with a leg over my pillow since it's comfiest. But instead of a pillow, it's a body. I even smack my hands a few times on the body to confirm it, and when I do so, I feel the person move slightly. But I try not to jump to conclusions, I don't even know who it is.

But why am I on someone else's bed anyway? That's when I remember that Jungkook's party was yesterday. And that's
when I really started freaking out. I haven't slept with anyone? No, nobody would want to do anything with me, at least I don't think so. Will I get pregnant? No, Lisa you won't, stop thinking stupid. This is why you don't drink. And then I remember something else, mom. She'll be so worried, I fucked up big time.

I stay there for a few minutes, frozen thinking what to do, I'll run away before he wakes up, so nothing will be awkward. I don't even have to see him if I don't want to, no this is my first time, I need to see, he won't remember anyway, when he wakes up I'll be gone.

I finally gather the courage to see who it is. I peek through the blanket slowly, and what I see scares me so bad I fall off the bed, barging my head into the bedside table and screaming so loudly, that a girl comes running into the room and the person who was on the other side of me wakes up ruffling his hair, an unreadable expression on his face.

That person is no one other but Jungkook. My brains are frozen, not to mention I have the worst headache, and I can't even think, my thoughts are all over the place. Y/n just get out of here, is the only thing I can think of. I scan around the room quickly, my clothes are folded neatly on a chair near the window and my- wait, my clothes? I look down at myself and scream again when I see myself in a plain white top that reached slightly up my knees. Jungkook's clothes. I quickly scan the room again and find my shoes a few inches away from the bed. Then as quick as I can I grab my shoes and run out of the room. I push past the girl, is that his sister? Damn, she's pretty, but she looks so familiar, yet I can't put my finger as to who she is. She looks at me for a split second, a weird expression on her face as I run down the hallway to the stairs.

"No- wait, it's not-". But his sister cuts him off. "You- you- you- slept with a girl?!" She then screams again, "Who was she, she looks so familiar, no, this is not the time, YOU SLEPT WITH A GIRL?" She says once again. "I can't believe you, you're only fifteen, what if she gets pregnant?" I hear Jungkook trying to say something but she cuts him off again. I run through his house to the entrance, his house is much bigger without the huge crowds and dark lights. She starts shouting again. "You didn't drink last night? She was clearly drunk, Jungkook I can't believe you took advantage of a drunk girl!" Then from what I hear she starts throwing things at him, "You bastard if you don't run to her and apologize to her right this second, I swear to god I will murder you!" She's not just saying it, she means it.

"Listen to me I didn't-" He starts explaining again but his sister starts again, "I don't want to know the details of what you did and didn't do, just apologize already!" I hear more things getting thrown. "GO NOW!"
"Chill I could go if you maybe STOP HITTING ME!"

I hear him as he runs down the stairs screaming my name. I need to quicken my place, why is this place so big? I finally find my way to the family room where I see Ji Sung and Jimin who are half awake. They are half awake rubbing their eyes as they sit up on the couch.

"What's happening, who's screaming?" Says Ji Sung as he turns his head upwards from where the sound is coming. "Who's that- Lisa, what are you doing here?" Says Jimin, who finally realizes my presence. "Lisa?" Ji Sung whips his face round to me. I ignore them, looking for the keys whilst frantically hopping, putting my shoes on.

"You don't know where the keys are, do you?" I say quickly since I can hear Jungkook's footsteps, but thankfully he's stopped to shout at his sister. "It's in that small bowl, but where are you going it's half seven?" Says Ji Sung, but I ignore him again. "Just hide the keys and don't let Jungkook out for a few minutes." I'm panicking now, I can hear Jungkook's voice getting louder. "I'll explain later, but please, just help me." They stay quiet for a few seconds as I turn the key through the keyhole. "Ok Lisa but-", I can see his shadow through the door, "Thanks!", I lock the door from the outside and shove it through the letterbox, I see Ji Sung's through the window running to grab it before practically jumping on the couch the moment Jungkook walks through.

I walk a few steps away from the house but stop for a second to listen to the conversation that takes place, their windows are open, so I can hear what they're saying. "You haven't seen Lisa have you?" Ji Sung answers, "No, we just woke up, why?" Damn, he's a good liar, I wonder how many times he's lied to me. "Oh, oh right." I hear his footsteps as he comes near the cabinet where the keys bowl is. "Where're the keys? Jimin, give me the keys." He sounds desperate, "Please, my sister will kill me, you have a sister don't you, you should know." Jimin answers back, "Actually I don't."

I start walking away from the house, looking at my surroundings so I can get an idea of where I am, or how to get home. Unfortunately, yesterday I was half sleepwalking my way to Jungkook's house and therefore, I have no idea where I am. I spot a park I'm familiar with and make my way through there, it's the park that's next to our school. And since I know my way home from school, I walk the usual way back home.

Before I open the door, I take a deep breath, what am I going to tell my mom? I was underage drinking and accidentally slept with the guy I hate, she'd disown me for sure, especially after what happened with her, she wanted me to live a better life than she did. I open the door quietly, to see Jae sleeping on the couch. And the moment I come through the door, I was bombarded with questions.

"Lisa are you okay? Where the hell have you been? I've been here waiting for you the whole night. You didn't do anything, did you? Why do you look so sad? Who's top is that? When you weren't home yesterday mom freaked out, what happened? Are you okay?" He's never been like that before. "Your lucky mom ain't home, she'll murder you." Great. I answer with a lie, "Jae it's fine, I stayed the night at Mi Sun's, nothing happened." He knows I'm lying. I then walk past him, upstairs, lock my bedroom door and stay there for the rest of the day, well, until my mom comes.

"Manoban Lisa and manoban Youngjae, get yourselves down here right now!" Guys, prepare for my funeral. All-day I've been in my room, laying on my bed, thinking, just thinking. I've been trying to have some positive thoughts, such as right now Jungkook's probably getting beat up by his sister, but then I remember his sister and try to figure out who she was, I know I've never seen her, but at the same time I have. And now that my mom is back, I'll have to think about it again. I just want to erase that memory forever.

My thoughts are interrupted by Jae who knocks on my door. "Come on Lisa." I step out of the door, I look the exact same as the morning, except, I've changed my top into a jumper so I don't get questioned again. I make my way down the staircase and go to the living room where mom's sitting on the couch, her expression calm? Jae and I take our place on the couch next to it.
"Speak Lisa, where were you yesterday." Her tone is quiet, which scares me, although it seems calm. "And don't lie to me, I will know if you're lying." She always does anyway. I take a deep breath, I'll tell the truth. "I went to a party yesterday, I didn't want to but I had to because I kept a promise, and when I went there, I was so tired I fell asleep." Well, half of the truth. Jae backs me up, " I remember, yesterday she was sleeping because she was tired, but then she was forced to go by two of her friends." She raises an eyebrow, "Don't lie to me, both of you, say the full truth, or shall I say it for you, you went to a part yesterday, Jungkook's party, don't think I don't know what's going on, you drank, even if you're underage and slept with a guy, most likely Jungkook."

I sit there, staring at her, and nod slowly. Jae and I are both shocked. "You already lied to me about Yoongi, don't lie to me about Jungkook, you like him don't you?" She says our expression eager. What? Like him, never. I choke on my saliva, "I don't like him, I didn't know what I was doing, I was drunk." Jae's just staring at the wall opposite, hearing us talking about one of his close friends must be weird. "What do you think I was thinking when I came home last night and you weren't home sleeping in your bed, what do you think I was thinking when I rang your phone and nobody answered? Don't do that again, at least call me and don't underage drink, you'll end up doing stupid things like me, trust me I know." Of course, we know, we've heard your story plenty of times.

"Look, I don't mind Jae drinking, because I trust him, to not do stupid things as you do, and anyways he's turning eighteen in a month or so, but you Lisa, still act like a child." I am offended. "Act like a child, when?" Jae gives me a cocky smile, "Remember that time you and Ji Sung were playing with the lighter and almost set fire to the house." His eyes travel to the burnt patch of carpet on the floor. "Or that time you and Ji Sung thought it was a good idea to play 'run away from your house game' and slept in that park near our house, or that time you and Ji Sung went to get ice cream and got lost even though it's not even a street away or that-" Why is he like this for, one second he's defending me and the next, he's attacking me. "You can't say that, that was almost five years ago, we were younger." Mom talks again, "You and Ji Sung can be really stupid together, Mi Sun and Jin are much more mature." It's not my fault they sounded like good ideas when I was a kid. "Well me and Ji Sung are younger than, so it makes sense."

***

It's only afterward, it occurs to me that mom didn't really talk about the Jungkook and I thingy, but I guess she can't really blame me, since she did the exact same thing. At the age of fourteen, my mom had been pregnant with Jae, she had the option for abortion but refused, only three years later, she had me, according to Tae's mom, she used to be a rebel. I could imagine that she's usually the one who takes the three of us places when Tae's mom doesn't allow us. She's still pretty young, and we frequently make jokes about her having another baby, since it's possible, even though we know it would never happen. Because of the fact she had to miss half of her childhood because of us would make you think she's miserable, but she's been pretty happy, but this year ever since dad left for his job overseas I've noticed she's losing her energy.

I think about phoning Mi Sun to tell her what happened or to ask for advice for what happened. As I look around for my phone, it hits me, shit I left it at Jungkook's house.

***

I dread my next week at school. I dread seeing Jungkook. I spent my morning regretting every decision I ever made, as I lie down on my bed staring at the ceiling wishing I could rewind time. When I get to school, I'm earlier than usual, having no phone to distract me. As I get there, I notice people whispering and talking, of course after Jungkook invited practically the whole school, things were bound to happen, but surely no one knew what happened?

I walk to the class where everybody already is besides Jungkook, I guess I'm not that early. Mi Sun waves at me smiling, and I wave back avoiding everyone else's gaze, and sit in my place.

"So how was Jungkook's party?" Momo asks, who's giving me a huge smile. "Umm, fine, though I couldn't really remember what happened." I gulp my water quickly, and I notice my voice is slightly shaky. "Really, that's sad, that means you couldn't remember your first kiss with Jungkook." The rest of the class give over-exaggerated disappointed sighs. "What?!" I spit my water out onto Jimin, who gives me a disgusted look. "It's true, we played spin the bottle and you two kissed, it was so romantic," Boram says. "What?!" I say again, as I start to cough. "I remember it perfectly, just like it was yesterday-" Felix interrupts, "Not to be a know it, but it was like two nights ago." Boram continues, annoyed, "like I was saying, it was so cute, you were crying because you didn't want to kiss him, but then Jungkook told you not to worry, and he kissed you." The class squeals like kids. My cheeks flush bright red, I turn back to the front to see Jungkook standing there watching us all, why does he look angry? I look at my desk, my cheeks still red, my hair falls on both sides of me so I can't see anything. I know it isn't as bad as sleeping with him, but still...

As he walks past me, he swiftly slides my phone on my desk as his hand lightly brushes my hair. I hear him sit in the seat behind him me opening his textbook. But then I hear something else, Zoe.

"Hey, Jungkook." She says her voice cheery. "Hey." His voice is monotone, there's something wrong. The rest of the class is still talking, so nobody notices anything. "What are you doing after school?" He replies in the same tone as before, "Nothing." Zoe tries again, "Should we go out, grab a drink maybe?" When he answers, his voice is blunt, "No." The class stop their small conversations and look at the two, and so do I. "Why not?" Her voice is shaky. "We broke up , don't pretend that you don't remember." Harsh, that's another girl gone, poor Zoe. "Oof, two breakups, first Yoongi and Lisa, now Jungkook and-" I spit out the water I just took a sip of, "We broke up?!" Jimin looks at me, his face with a disgusted expression, "Can you stop spitting on me?" I look at him, top dripping with water, I'm about to apologize, but Yoojung interrupts, " You don't remember? It was awesome, you exposed him for cheating on you, and then you dropped alcohol on him, and ohh it was amazing."

Then I remember, talking with Jimin, sitting in a circle, spinning a bottle, shouting so much I started crying, feeling such a wave of sudden anger, throwing drinks on Yoongi, a boy carrying me on his back, a fight, a breakup, a song, lulling me to sleep and a kiss, lighter than a feather...

***

The next week at school is too awkward for, me and Jungkook barely talk, although I do notice him trying to approach me multiple times, I just freak out and run away. Honestly, I feel like one of his fangirls, who freak out every time he comes near them, and I don't like it, I just want us to be back to normal. Jin and Ji Sung don't help either, "Well if you woke up with Jungkook, with his top, most likely you slept with him." Or Jin would answer with, "I mean, it's not that deep, you woke up with a boy in his bed, obviously you did something that is most likely done in a bed." Then Ji Sung would say something like, "I mean you could do it in a shower that would be more-" Mi Sun interrupts, "Shut up Ji Sung, I don't think Jungkook would ever do that to you, trust me he's not like that, I don't think he's ever gone that far with a girl, just trust me." "How would you know, you're not even close to him." Ji Sung shoots back. "Just shut up, Mi Sun's right." No matter how much I hate Jungkook, I trust him, there must be another explanation.

"I never thought our small Lisa-ie would be the first to-"

"Jin shut up!"

***

Jieun and Moonbyul are taking me somewhere, where? I don't know. Jieun and Moonbyul are both old enough to drive, but only Jieun has a driving license, but soon, Jin will be able to drive and take us places, and I'm too excited for that.

"Here." Jieun stops outside a house, that looks familiar, Jungkook's house, what are they trying to do to me? "Why are we here?" Why are my hands shaking? "Remember that girl I said I wanted to introduce you to, well she lives here, and well she and Moonbyul are friends." She sees my worried face, she also heard about what happened, although I didn't tell her about the thing. "We don't have to see Jungkook, he probably won't be around anyway." I calm down a little. "So we're seeing his sister, she scares me, just the tiniest bit, I don't think she'll be happy seeing me." Moonbyul's not really paying attention as she walks to their front door. "Their not exactly siblings, and don't worry she'll love you, she's not that scary, why wouldn't she want to see you?" I'm literally terrified, 'she's not that scary' and that's according to Moonbyul's standards.

When the girl opens the door, she looks at Jieun and Moonbyul, hugging them both, stopping to look at me. "Aren't you the girl who-" Please don't say anything? "You know what let's go inside shall we?"

When we get inside, Jungkook's on his PlayStation, an earpiece in his ear, frantically shouting instructions as he plays.
"JI SUNG, HOW DID YOU MISS THAT!?"
"WHAT THE HELL JAE YOU WERE SO CLOSE."
"BAEKHYUN YOU MIGHT AS WELL DIE, YOU'RE NOT EVEN HELPING US!"
"YOU KNOW THE ONLY DECENT ONE OUT OF US IS JAE, AT LEAST HE CAN AIM!"
"WHY THE FUCK DID YOU JUST SHOOT ME BAEKHYUN, I'M ON YOUR FUCKING TEAM?!"

He then proceeds to aggressively take of his earpiece slam it on the floor, turn off the PlayStation and storm out of the room, all of us burst into laughter, how can you be so angry over one small little game? "Why are you crying over a little game, it's not like it's real?" Shouts his sister, teasing him. He then turns around hearing our laughs, steals a glance at me before shouting at his sister, "Yongsun, just shut up, I hate you!"

Yongsun? Sounds familiar, really familiar. And that's when it clicks, I remember why she looks so familiar. "Solar?" I think aloud.

Yongsun whips her head round to me. "Who said that?" But Moonbyul answers, "Lisa I think you've got the wrong person, that's Yongsun, not... Solar, who's Solar?" Yongsun looks at me with a confused look on her face, "No, no, she's Solar." Jieun looks at me like I'm crazy, "Lisa, her name is Yongsun." Yongsun doesn't say anything, for a while but then looks at me and speaks slowly, the exact word I was hoping to hear.

"Lunar." We're quiet for a moment, but Moonbyul speaks again, "Nope, her name is Lisa, you've also got it wrong." I swear I can see tears coming out of Yongsun's eyes, "Are you two okay-" But she can't finish her sentence because Yongsun knocks me over into a hug, screaming into my ears.

"Lisa I missed you so much, I tried to keep in contact, but I thought you'd forget me." She pulls away looking at me, "You look so different, I thought I recognized you." But there was one thing that confused me. "Wait, why are you here though?" She scratches her head, "Oh yeah I forgot to explain, well you see..." Her face drops a little, "after we moved away, Mom died, of cancer.." her voice quietens, but she carries on, "I got put into care, and soon well I got adopted by the Jeon family, lucky right?" Yup, she gets to live with Jungkook, really lucky. "I've been living with them for about... ten years now, obviously I miss my mom and all that but at least I've got a family." Moonbyul grabs an apple from the fruit bowl and asks us, "Is anyone going to fill us in on what happened, or are I and Jieun going to say clueless." She asks. "Oh right sure." I answer, "So basically when we were young, me and Yongsun used to be neighbours, and since there was no other girl around, us two used to play together, we had code names for each other Solar and Lunar, mainly because she was always bright and happy and I was always dark and miserable, she moved out when she was... seven I think and that's the end." Yongsun looks at me, "l still have that book we made, but instead I filled it with other pictures, wanna see it?" I feel giddy as I remember the book Yongsun was talking about, the one we had spent all summer making, the one that I was so angry that it didn't look as good as Yongsun's that I had thrown it in a puddle out of anger. "You know where Jungkook's room is, don't you? I think he was looking at it last, it'll be on the shelf near the door, you don't mind do you? I'll get some snacks, thanks!" She rushes off to the kitchen, great, she did that on purpose.

I walk up the stairs as slowly as I can stopping outside Jungkook's door to think. All I need to do is grab the book and get out, that's it, nothing else, you don't need to look at him, just grab the book and go. Grab the book and go, nothing else. I open the door slowly, stealing a glance at Jungkook even though I told myself not to. He's on his bed, piles of homework surrounding him, earplugs on, pen clicking in his hand as he mutters some random maths equation to himself. The papers are spread out on his bed, his laptop open in front of him. Huh, I always thought he was the type who never studies, yet still got full marks on all their papers. Guess he actually works hard for his good grades. Lisa remember what you're here for, the book. I notice him lift his gaze, but before he can look at me, I turn around find her book lying on his shelf, tiptoe to get it, and walk out the door, well almost.

"Lisa." Jungkook speaks, his voice is soft. I contemplate listening to him but force myself not to. I take a step out of the door. "Lisa, don't ignore me." His voice still sounds soft, but slightly scary. I take a small step again. "Lisa." I flinch slightly as he slams his laptop down. I turn around. "Sit." He carelessly moves some papers out of the way and makes a spot for me to sit. I hesitate before sitting, making sure to distant myself from him. "Jungkook, look I really don't want to talk, your sister's waiting for me, we can talk later, ok." I get off the bed, but Jungkook grabs my arm and makes me sit again. He looks at me for an eternity before speaking, "Look, we need to talk, and I need you to listen." Does he not understand? "Jungkook, there's nothing to talk about, I already know what happened, and I don't want to talk about it." He doesn't answer what I just said but starts speaking anyways, forcing me to listen, he looks at downwards as he speaks, avoiding eye contact.

"You were drunk and we were playing spin the bottle, we got chosen and obviously we had to kiss, but that was it, nothing else, you then broke up with Yoongi, for obvious reasons and afterward, you told me you were sleepy, and I let you choose a room, you wanted to sleep in mines, so I let you. You wanted me to stay with you, so I waited for you to sleep-" I interrupt him, "You sung me to sleep." He gives a sigh but I see a small, "Whatever, and I accidently fell asleep, nothing else, I promise." He gives me a comforting smile. He waits for a reaction, all I do is smile, but right after, he grabs the book in my hand.

"You're looking at this book?" He asks as he starts flipping through the pages. "Yeah, Yongsun wanted me to see it." I answer, a random feeling of happiness growing inside of me, but then it stops when he shows me a picture from the book. "Do you remember this?" It's a picture of Jungkook in second grade, holding a picture of a girl he drew, hearts surrounding her. It was the same day that picture of me and Jimin with red paint all over us was taken, the one that Jungkook had posted a few months ago. Of course, I remember it, it was one of my earliest memories...

Kindergarten, 3rd Person POV:

It was a Friday, two children, a boy, and a girl, Lisa and Jimin were painting. Lisa was painting a sinking boat, whilst Jimin was painting a house. On the other side of the classroom though, was two boys, Jungkook and Taehyung, both painting. Jungkook a picture of a girl, whilst Taehyung a picture of a seaside. If you look closely, however, you would recognize that the picture of the girl perfectly resembled the small girl painting the sinking ship, from her blue dress, to her long plaits, or her white tights, to her black shoes. After painting the girl, the young boy had finished it off by painting red hearts around her and smiling at his piece of hard work contently.

"Do you think she will like it?" The young boy asks Taehyung. "Lisa doesn't like sappy stuff." He answered back unbothered. But Jungkook was bothered, he wanted her to like it. "Why not?" Taehyung answered back, unaware of his feeling for the girl, "Because she likes Jimin." Anger started to boil up in the little boy. "She-she..." He stomped his foot on the floor and walked off angrily to show his picture to Lisa.

Lisa and Jimin were painting happily when the boy appeared in front of her. Before being popular, Jungkook was a shy boy, only talkative to Taehyung who he had befriended on the first day of school. When he walked up to the girl his cheeks burned bright red just on seeing her.

"Hey Lisa..." He held the picture behind him in one hand and in the other a pot of red paint, in which he painted the red hearts. She turned around looking at him annoyed, "Yes Kookie?" Kookie, a nickname she had given Jungkook because it was easier to pronounce. "I wanted to show you this..." He pulls out the picture from behind him and presents it to Lisa proudly. "Look, I made this for you." On seeing the picture, Lisa looks at Jungkook angrily and slams her paintbrush onto the floor. "You know I don't like you, Kookie, stop being annoying." The young boy's lip trembled, and out of anger, the boy had thrown the red paint on both Lisa and Jimin, before stomping away shouting, "I hate you, Lisa!"

And you would think, that after having his poor five-year-old heartbroken, he would move on and have other crushes, just like anyone else, but instead, the love he had for the girl, instead of weakening, had in fact grown stronger, much, much stronger.