𝘚𝘖𝘕𝘋𝘌𝘙 ⁽ʲ ᵐᵒˡⁱⁿᵃ⁾

𝘌𝘐𝘎𝘏𝘛𝘌𝘌𝘕

The moment Elise left Julie’s, her own oblivious happiness did the same.

The dread of reality struck her much harder than it had been for the past few hours, she couldn’t exactly explain why. Maybe now she had more to lose, and she’d been subconsciously repressing these emotions for so long. She was bound for a breakdown, and she feared it may be come much sooner than anticipated.

Her heart dropped extra low when her house came into view this time; it was the last place she wanted to be. She was so lonely in these walls, amongst her family she felt so out of place. Elise wished she could hold Julie forever. Was it bad that she was already so clingy? The big house was not exactly what she would call a home, the bougie living room and the plain white walls spotted with stolen platinum records made her sick. Elise could admit to herself that she was a little spoiled, most people would kill to have her life, and she knew she had the tendency to go off with no filter and scare off those who lacked tough skin. Often times in her mind, this made her no better than her sister. Even though, time and time again, she had to remind herself of her own pure intentions.

The harsh lighting only reminded her now of all the things she’d lost: her mom, her relationship with her remaining family members. It made her throat tighten as she stepped through the front doors. She’d always been so good at separating herself from that – commemorating all that was instead of mourning it. But she hadn’t realized how hard that had gotten in such a short time. It made her angry, vengeful.

She’d been ignoring herself for far too long.

Tears pricked at the back of her eyes, and she did not try to stop them. Only one had fallen when she finally entered her room. She could have sworn she was in for an avalanche, but other than the lonesome drop her eyes remained dry.

She took off her sweatshirt and wiggled her feet out of her sneakers, flicking on the lamp on her bedside table before she placed herself on top of the messy sheets.

The guys would be here soon, but for now all she wanted was to rest her eyes. As she was sneaking out of Julie’s yard not an hour ago, Luke appeared in front of her. Instead of giving into his snarky commentary, she’d only said one thing. Get the guys and meet me at my house in one hour. He was confused, as was expected, but agreed, nonetheless.

It was nearing four in the morning, apparently ghosts really didn't sleep. Elise had been surprisingly calm on her way back home. She was too preoccupied by her conflicting emotions to dwell in the dark patches on the sidewalk: both the sheer joy that came with Julie’s affection, and the heart-smashing fear and anxiety with Willie’s warning. The two tugged on either end of her, she felt as if she’d soon be torn in two. Maybe that's how she would go out.

She wasn’t worried about accidentally falling into a dream before the boys arrived, she knew that the rest of the night would be void of much comfort at all. Her room felt to cold, the air stale.

It felt like an hour of staring at the wall, unblinking, had passed when the boys finally made their entrance – dramatic as always. She felt the familiar breeze hit her face first, the shuffling of their feet and the snickering before she actually saw them. It took her a few moments to sit up and face them, but she eventually managed to prop herself up on her hands for enough time to prepare a pillow on her headboard to lean on.

“What’s up, Ellie?” Her face went sour at the nickname, though she had to push to get the emotions to actually display themselves. While the other two were sneering and cracking jokes, already messing with her stuff, Alex’s hands were shoved into his pockets and his eyes flitted around anxiously. His eyebrows were creased and he tapped his left foot without much pattern. His anxiety somehow comforted Elise, they were contrasting the rest in solidarity.