𝘚𝘖𝘕𝘋𝘌𝘙 ⁽ʲ ᵐᵒˡⁱⁿᵃ⁾

𝘛𝘞𝘌𝘕𝘛𝘠-𝘛𝘞𝘖

Elise couldn't bring herself to go back to Payton's.

She was semi-surprised when she woke up swaddled in her own covers, it felt as if everything that'd happened after she tried to sleep in Payton's bed was just a sick and twisted nightmare that she wanted to remove from her memories.

Despite the early hour of 5 am, Elise did not hesitate to shoot from her bed. Her body and her brain were both exhausted, but she didn't feel it when she awoke. It would be impossible for her to return to her slumber, and she couldn't bring herself to just do nothing and bear the weight of giving up.

Her first order of business was a steaming shower: a luxury she hadn't experienced in at least a week. She was too preoccupied with her troubles to even think about such basic necessities like that.

She scrubbed the excess makeup from their performance off her face that she'd forgotten about and stripped once the water was warm enough. Living with a billionaire dad had its perks, including the rain shower head fixed on the ceiling above her. She slipped in, finally feeling the weakness in her legs, and lowered herself unsteadily to the floor.

She sat hugging her knees to her chest, her forehead resting on them as the water hit her back violently.

The drops traveled from the top of her head to her face, flowing over her closed eyes and down her nose. With it came a familiar sense of clarity. Time seemed to travel differently in here, she could stay in for a glorious hour and leave with only fifteen minutes passing. There was nothing to do but think and feel. It was as if emotions intensified: her sadness would boil over, she would feel grounded, and when she got out it would be just a little better. Just a little.

She washed her hair after moping, still positioned on the ground. She supposed if she were supposed to be a ghost soon she would try to at least look good. She wasn't sure if a ghost could successfully shower even after mastering the art of manipulating objects, and the boys probably wouldn't know. They probably didn't shower when they were alive either.

Elise ran her fingers through her hair, massaging the shampoo into her scalp on autopilot. The only thing she could bring herself to think about was Julie - and not the good memories and the happiness the girl's presence gave her. She was pondering how to tell her - how to break her heart - and apologize for not warning her sooner. There was so much she wanted to tell her, so many final words that she wouldn't get the chance to say. She was drawing closer to the final countdown, she could feel it. A constant static now lingered in her chest, the aching radiated all the way down to her elbows and her hips. She had to do this today because she might not get tomorrow.

She lingered in the shower a few moments after shutting off the water, letting the cold air seep through the cracks in the foggy door. Unsteadily, she lifted herself to her feet and braced herself for the wall of freezing air that was about to hit her. It was a welcome two-second distraction from her emotional turmoil.

It was nearing six in the morning now, the sun was just beginning to peek above the horizon and aid the single lamp tucked away in Elise's corner in brightening the room. Its orange glow helped to ease her mind for a fleeting moment - Elise loved watching the sunrise. It made her feel so insignificant, and while at times that may only depress her, right now it was exactly what she needed. Even without her here, time would move on. And that gave her hope for her friends.

When she was finally fully clothed in the most comfortable articles she owned, Elise exited her room with slow footing. She wasn't exactly sure where she was going, she merely followed her feet through the winding hallways and absently gazed over her surroundings. It was obvious that her body had a mission it ached to fulfill - there was a destination that she simply continued to overlook.