ima skip a little lol
shhhhhhh im impatient - patty
may 1 2022
it was a breezy sunday morning, me and jason were doing what we usually do. hanging out at the park, we just bring the blanket and some water, we also bring his guitar so he can write some songs here and there.
we had this one specific park we always went to, it was near this beautiful lake and there were always ducks in the lake. we always used to place our little picnic stuff like the blanket and food next to this one tree as well, but out of no where jason decided to drive us to a new park. it was only about 15 minutes away from our old one and it looked clean and way nicer then the other park anyways.
right when we set up next to this new tree, jason pulled out his guitar as quick as he could. he started strumming some new tunes i never heard before. he's been obsessive about that recently. he keeps writing new random songs and i keep hearing new random sounds and musical notes i have never heard before.
i wasn't upset considering he has nothing else to write songs about other than me, it that selfish? a little bit, but i'd like to say im going places in this love world.
"when you lay, when you lay your head upon my chest, ugh" jason was violently strumming and getting the tune right as he sang, it was so amusing to me to see him get worked up over his music.
"can you play what you have so far?" i asked
he shook his head, not surprised, he always says no when i ask him that, that also kind of sparks into me thinking the songs are about me. jason opened his phone again and typed out some random letters, well they weren't random they were like guitar stuff but i didn't read musician. i am american sir not musician.
what
also if you were wondering, i haven't gotten around to giving him his christmas and birthday gifts, i didn't even tell him i got him anything. i was waiting for this old guitar to live its last days if im being honest, he's pretty abusive when it comes to instruments so im trying to be extra careful about that.
"im afraid that we have is, what we have, UGH"
AH
he slammed his guitar into the tree
i jumped up a little but he took his now literal trash and ruined guitar and continued violently strumming his new song, he had told me niall helped with the lyrics a bit but it makes sense because niall is a literal lyric genius and the last time jason wrote a song he put the weirdest word choices. i loved the song but like, it was pretty funny to hear the verses. the chorus was fine it was just, the beginning-
the guitar slamming though, not surprised. that was what i was talking about when i said he's abusive with instruments, i think they deserve love not abuse but he doesn't seem to care about these so-called 'random objects'. yeah random objects my ass, they're expensive.
i continued to lay peacefully even with the background of jasons aggresive guitar smashing, and actually guitar smashing here and there, but the noises of the water and little hummingbirds kind of covered it all up. how did i get here? laying here with someone who is like a dream to me, someone who means so much to me. someone i could've never imagined feeling this way for, i felt pretty lucky honestly even if the guy was a 6'2 depressed narcissist who lets out his anger in the strangest ways and is a super clingy white boy who stalks me. the love for him sparks from the bottom of my heart, theres a lot of it.
and it felt great
it just felt great to know i was loved, and to know the person who loved me was the sweetest most angelic person i could meet or know. i'm pretty lucky not even gonna lie, don't worry you'll find a jason or a niall if you put your spidey senses into it.
