The Rogue Alpha

Chapter 1: I Just Can't

Chapter 1

"Alright everyone, on the count of three, I want all of you to phase. Alright?" We all nodded our heads to our alpha. He was training us so that when he goes on and passes the Alpha lead to his son, we'd be able to take care of our pack.

At the age of fourteen, we're able to phase. I'm turning seventeen and I hope I can phase today or at the very least tomorrow. The past two years I couldn't phase and I'm really behind on training. Scratch that, I'm really behind.

"Aright, one. Two. Three!" At exactly three, my pack phased into their brown coated bodies. I looked at their sleek brown bodies. They all looked at me with what I think was a guarded look. It only meant that I didn't phase again.

"Emma, just watch I guess." My alpha said disappointed. I walked over and sat down on the same rock that I've been using the past two years.

It must be hard for him to have me around. The slow one. The runt of the pack. I try to phase all the time but my wolf just won't budge. Am I defective? Am I not a wolf? I ask myself these questions all the time.

"What's wrong with you?"

"I don't want to phase."

"Why?"

"I just don't want to Emma."

My wolf always gives me the exact same answer. Of course I love her because she's a part of me, well she is me but I hate her choice of not phasing.

I don't get to share the thoughts like the rest of my pack does. They probably always talk about how I don't belong here because I can't phase.

"I bet you some of them don't even think I'm a normal wolf. Are you even a normal wolf? Or just a voice?"

"We are!" My wolf growled. She hates it when I doubt her.

"Don't doubt me. Doubting is very powerful and I could just be nothing if you continue to do so. You'd be a complete Human and you wouldn't belong here."

She was right. If you doubt your wolf too much, they'd disappear for good. It's like wishing in a sense. It's really strong and it could very much erase everything.

"Then phase!"

Silence.

My wolf became ecstatic in the next few minutes. My boyfriend must be coming. We are mates. And both my wolf and I are happy. She must have felt his presence a long time ago.

"Hey." Logan said while hugging me from behind.

"Hey baby." He kissed the top of my head.

"Still can't phase?" He asked.

"No. She doesn't want to." I said somberly. I bet his wolf and mine are communicating too, through the bond, because I became a bit more depressed.

"I'll wait with you again." He said with a smile. I perked up, along with my wolf, and he sat down next to me on the rock.

"I love you a lot Logan." I said as I put my head on his shoulder.

He wrapped his arms around me and we were like a cocoon.

"I love you. And you'll phase soon. Don't worry about it. It just needs time I guess." Logan whispered into my ear.

For the next hour, we watched our brothers and sisters attack each other. There was a total of twelve wolves in my pack and each two were paired together. Logan and I sat out of course.

They practiced advancing, which is attacking and they practiced defending. I only knew what they were doing. I didn't know how to do it exactly. They looked very graceful when they practiced and I keep imagining that I would look like crap when I learn.

"No you won't Emma."

"How would you know? You never phased once." I retorted back to my wolf.

She kept quited and I felt her being comforted. Probably by Logan's wolf.

I felt Logan tense up besides me and he hugged me closer. I wonder what this was about. If only I knew. It would have been nice.

"Let's go Emma. Logan has to go." My wolf told me. I got up and Logan gave me a heart warming kiss.

"I have to speak with my dad. Bye Emma." Logan said before walking towards the open area.

Logan's dad happened to be the Alpha so Logan can receive thoughts from his dad instantly in human form and wolf form. But for the human form, it'd just be thoughts being passed on by the wolves. No one else in the pack can do that.

"Come on Emma, tomorrow's our birthday. Let's rest." My wolf whimpered.

"Alright. Let's go then."

The walk back to my house was quiet and uneventful. With each step, I asked a question to my wolf.

"Will you ever phase? I just need a yes or no answer. Please."

"Yes."

"Is it going to be soon? Again. Yes or no."

"No."

"Why do you have to be so blunt?! Why can't I have a serious answer from you?!"

"Well you said I could answer in yes or no!"

"Oh just shut up."

She just laughed a bit and we kept on walking.

What I would do just to phase at least once. Sure I’ve seen my brothers and sisters phase into their brown coats but I really want to see how I look in brown fur too.

“Sadly, Emma, I don’t know myself.”

She knows everything I’ve seen.And sadly, we haven’t seen our post-phasing. But I hope soon we’ll get to see soon.

“I wish we could phase already.” I said out loud.

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Okay! So there's the first chapter! I really really want to continue this but I want you to tell me if I should continue it. :}