Reduce To Tears

Prologue

In life, either you win and celebrate, or you lose and accept your faith, but will you choose to quit when the thought of doing it seem tough and relentless? I have been battling for my own good eversince, alone yet still alive. A result of rage, a curse rather than a blessing, no one wanted and hoped for it's inception. Both of my parents have their own family, none of them acknowledged me as their own. I'm used to it, but that doesn't mean I don't have a choice though it would make me less of a desperate bitch trying hard to get his hopes up, I just know what's best for my mental health and settled for more substantial matters.

In spite of the pain and sufferings caused by their selfishness, who would've thought I'll crave for that piece of appreciation? Of course it sounds pathetic isn't it? I always wish for atleast a moment to be with them but that's beyond imagination. Since I was born, I never had the chance to feel a mother's warmth, a father's touch and a family's comfort. They even had a mutual agreement which actually made it more questionable on their part, as long as they won't be able to behold my presence, freedom is mine. Currently residing in a place where I can call home? Considering no one's going to waste their time dropping by ruining the peace it offers.

In here, I built those dreams and fantasies longing to be fulfilled, afraid that one day all will be vanished in a snap. Ang daang patungo sa aking apartment ay tahimik, madilim, at tanging buwan lamang ang nagsisilbing liwanag, may mga streetlights naman kaso siguro nakalimutang isindi ng mga tao. Inumaga na naman ako galing sa trabaho, at kung sa ibang pagkakataon delikado sana ang ganitong sitwasyon but for years of living death, I learned to defend myself from everything that has something to do with violence. The houses are dead tired yet the sound of tiny crickets are gently echoing in my ears and the soft breeze caressing my skin feels so warm. Ah, I would trade anything for this tranquility.

Patuloy lamang ako sa paglalakad hanggang sa mamataan ko ang anino ng isang tao hindi kalayuan sa apartment ko. Hindi ko na sana papansinin ngunit bigla na lamang itong naglakad ng marahan patungo sa kinaroroonan ko. Kumunot ang noo ko ng masilayan ang pamilyar na mukha.

"Long time no see Azi." Mababa at mahinahon na bati nito sa akin.

Hindi ako nakagalaw at para akong binuhusan ng malamig na tubig. Tinitigan ko lamang siya at pilit kinukumbinse ang sarili na hindi siya totoo na namamalikmata lamang ako. This isn't my special day or him either. So what would be the reason of his presence?

"Aren't you going to give your brother a hug?" Narinig ko pa ang pagngisi niya pagkatapos itong sabihin.

Nang hindi ako gumalaw ay siya na mismo ang lumapit sa akin at niyakap ako ng mahigpit. Hindi ko namalayang lumuluha na pala ako at sinusuklian ang yakap niya. These are tears of joy, the thought of him making a way just to visit me is enough to make me feel better.

"I miss you, no need to cry." He chuckled and tap my head.

"K-kuya..." Kung maaari ayokong umiyak sa harap niya ngunit hindi ko mapigilan ang mapahikbi. Siya ang nagiisang kadugo ko na buong puso akong tinanggap. I adore him so much.

"Ssshhh, still a cry baby huh? Come on you should be happy that I'm here."
He wiped my tears and smiled at me warmly.

"Pa-pasensya na kuya, hindi ko lang mapigilan ang sarili ko. Ano nga palang ginagawa mo dito?" Matapos kong mahimasmasan ay huminga ako ng malalim at ngumiti sa kanya.

"I wanna know if you're doing fine." Tumango ako sa kanyang sagot.

"Anyway, kumain ka na ba?" Tanong niya na agad ko namang inilingan. Kakain palang sana ako pagkauwi kaya lang nakita ko siya dito.

"Tss, nagpapalipas ka ng gutom? Come with me, I should feed you more ang payat payat mo na." Naiinis niyang saad at agad akong hinila papunta sa kanyang kotse.