Not Today | ✔️

Chapter Thirty Six.

"Just say you won't let go..."

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The only sound filling Evelyn's ears was the hum of Tristan's car. The only feeling filling Evelyn was the feeling of the heat blasting through the vents onto her skin. The only scent filling Evelyn's nose was the smell of Tristan's soap, which was soft, yet strong in the enclosed space. The only sight in Evelyn's eyes were the tail lights on the car ahead of them. The only taste in Evelyn's mouth was the bitter taste of betrayal.

At least, it felt like a betrayal to her.

Vaguely, Evelyn wondered if this was how Jane Eyre felt when she learned of Bertha; blindsided and confused, with a side of hurt. Except Tanya wasn't a madwoman locked in an attic, she was a skeleton locked in Tristan's closet. A secret locked in his mind. A lost love locked in his heart.

That was the problem, wasn't it? The fact that it was locked, hidden away. While her heart was unlocked, open, vulnerable, and delicately placed in the palm of his hand, his was locked up and placed behind walls. He didn't trust her enough to tell her and that... well, that hurt, if she was honest with herself.

The problem was not Tristan having a past, having an ex-girlfriend. The problem wasn't even how distracted he became by her. The problem was him lying to her about it when she asked, only to be blindsided when she reappeared.

The problem was Tristan being frustrated by Evelyn not being open enough, only for Evelyn to learn he was just as closed-off as her in some ways.

The problem was her being so inspired by his trust in her, that she put her trust in him, and revealed the part of herself she was most ashamed of when his trust in her wasn't as deep as it seemed.

The problem was the way Evelyn's mind kept flickering back to scenarios when she'd asked him a direct question and wondering if his instant answer was the truth, or a lie, as well.

"Will you say something?"

Evelyn was silent.

"Please?"

Evelyn took a deep breath. "I'm thinking, Tris."

"What is there to think about?"

Again, Evelyn was silent.

"You're overreacting, Evelyn."

At this, Evelyn turned her head to look at Tristan, crossing her arms over her chest.

"Tristan?"

"Yes?"

"What's your definition of a lie?"

"Don't do that."

"No, really. I'm genuinely asking. What do you consider a lie?"

"A lie is when someone tells you something that's not true, but acts like it is."

"Good, I agree. And what is universally known as the most important thing in a relationship?"

"Evelyn-"

"Humor me."

"Fine. Trust. Trust is the most important thing in a relationship."

"And what does it take to undermine trust?"

"I-"

"Don't worry, I'll answer this one. A lie. That's all it takes. One lie. I don't care if it's as seemingly simple you telling me your shoes are red, when they're actually blue. Lies are never simple, because the second you tell one, people will always wonder about what else you've lied about."