one time | hood

prologue

The hotel that we're staying at is kind of nice to be honest. There's all this marble and this huge chandelier down in the lobby that I knew you would have stared at for about ten minutes. It's the first time that I've had my own room since you've left, Jay. Well, not that you left- you didn't leave on purpose I- you know what I mean, babe. Luke and Mikey have already fallen asleep in one of the other rooms, I don't blame them, we were busy as hell today. I think Ash was a bit reluctant to leave me on my own but I think Liz talked him into it or something. Things have been hard, it was all so sudden and I wasn't there and God fucking dammit Jaydyn, I don't know if I can do this any longer. One minute you were there and the next you weren't and fuck- I've gotten tears all over this goddamn notebook. I don't really plan on writing in it. I feel like thinking about you is enough. Enough emotional work, I guess. It all seems so real once I physically write it down. I don't want it to be real, Jay.