Ace of Spades

Chapter 13: Drunk Words are Sober Thoughts

Atticus laid his head back onto the couch cushions as his thoughts seemed to jumble together. The look in the smaller man's eyes replayed in his head as he ran his hands down his face. He had hurt Bray, that he knew as much, but he wasn't sure how. Was it because of Jace? If so, why did the doctor infuriate him so much?

Maybe it's... No, it couldn't be. Atticus' threw the thought out of his head as soon as it came. Nobody like Bray would like him in that way, he was sure of it. They come from two different worlds, Atticus wouldn't even date himself if he had the option.

His feet seemed to move on their own despite the screaming storm in his head, as they pushed his body towards the direction of the backroom. Resting his hand on the door handle, the smell of marijuana and Jack Daniel's wafting into his nose. He sighed and pushed the door opening, expecting a fucked up Bray and getting exactly that.

There he was, laid across the floor with a bottle in his hand and looking up mindlessly at the ceiling. His head turned in the direction of the doorway and a smile slowly crawled onto his face, "Tic." he breathily said. He got on his hands and knees and crawled over to the larger man.

"Bray, get up please." Atticus whispered.

Bray didn't respond to his words; Atticus wasn't even sure if he heard the exact words that came out his mouth.

"You have a nice voice. Deep, masculine, dare I say— sexy," Bray rasped, his words seeming to come out strained.

"You're drunk."

"Drunk words are sober thoughts."

Bray finally lifted himself up to his feet and rested his hands on Atticus' chest in order to steady his wobbling legs. He looked up at Atticus and attempted to turn on his sultry persona but was unfortunately too far gone to do so.

"Touch me, Tic."

Atticus wanted to, god he wanted to so bad. The moonlight radiating off pale skin and the noticeable height difference between the two tempted Atticus beyond belief. He wanted nothing more than to lift Bray into his arms and teach him everything he had under his sleeve... but he couldn't.

Not when Bray was this drunk.

It would be taking advantage of someone vulnerable, something Atticus refused to do, no matter how turned on he was in this exact moment.

He didn't respond in words; afraid his voice would give away his true feelings. Instead, he gently took Bray's delicate hands off his chest. Bray's face hardened, seeming to sober up only slightly.

"Why don't you like me?"

"Bray that's not wh—"

"No no, I know why. It's cause of that doctor, right?"

Atticus stayed quiet, the statement wasn't true, but he was afraid of saying the wrong thing—afraid of setting Bray off even more.

"I don't blame you. He's got it all, doesn't he? A doctor, stable, pretty, probably clean as a doorknob. And me? Convict, unemployed, degenerate, a drunk, juvenile." The longer the list became, the more tears welled up in Bray's eyes.

"I'm not good enough, never have been and never will be. I don't even know why I fucking try."

Atticus attempted to reach out the male in front of him, but that only caused the latter to step backwards. "Bray, c'mere."

"No, I don't want your fucking pitty touches." Bray continued to protest, but it was no use. His drunken state weakened him beyond return, allowing Atticus to grab ahold of him into a bear hug.

"Let go of me, please Atticus." Bray weakly protest as he used Tic's chest as his own personal punching bag.

He attempted to push Atticus off him, but the attempts grew futile.

The tears only became worse as his frustration grew. Bray felt hopeless and weak as his crush cradled him like a child. I'm not a child, I'm not a child, his mind chanted over and over. Atticus' scent invaded his nostrils and smothered the thoughts in his head. Bray felt exhausted and finally gave in. He thought that allowing Atticus to treat him like most delicate object on planet earth wouldn't be that bad, right?

Atticus felt Bray's body slump, indicating that he had finally gave in and his punching and kicking was over. He knew a talk about this was going to come up later, but he pushed that aside for now. He lifted the smaller into his arms and laid back onto the guest bed, careful not to accidentally harm the man in his arms in any way. Rocking Bray back and forth, the protest coming to a stop and the sobbing mellowing out as time goes by.

A/N: Shorter chapter as I work my way through writers block. I know some of y'all are gonna be disappointed about Atticus refusing to have sex with Bray, but it's a good reminder to NEVER HAVE SEX WITH A DRUNK PERSON. That person cannot properly consent to the sex.

Anywhooo

Thoughts on Bray?

Thoughts on Atticus?

Thoughts on Atticus' actions this chapter?

Thoughts on Bray's actions this chapter? 

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