Of Painted Water (Logan Lerman Love Story)

Never Accept Advice from Dev

This one is shorter than usual, but only because I cut it a little short so that it could be up by Christmas.my logic is somewhat flawed, seeing as how late it is (I'm the biggest effing procrastinator ever) but it is December 25 as of right now, so I dd update on the day I planned to. Merry Christmas to all, and to all a good night!

COMMENT VOTE FAN READ LOVE LAUGH ROLL DOWN A HILL. Why is it that all authors write verbs in capital letters at the ends of these nifty little author notes?

So just as I had promised myself, I cried and pouted when I got home. I even kicked the wooden frame on my bed, but that hurt so fucking much I cried even harder.

I had spent a whole hour crying, and my head was aching like it was no bodies business.

At certain points I forgot what I was angry about, but then remembered suddenly and started wailing even harder. I didn't want anyone to see me so upset because I like to think I give of the badass kind of aura, so I hid in my closet.

I bet you just got this image in your mind: me being scrunched up in one of those tight little closets surrounded by tissues.

In actuality, I had brought a ton of pillows and set them up, with a tissue box, and water.

Water is really great when crying because you can't freak out while drinking it or else you drown. So for those short periods of time when I would drink my water like an alcoholic guzzles beer, I stopped crying.

And slowly, slowly, I calmed myself down.

I took two painkillers for my headache, and then snuggled Sage for my heartache.

Technically Logan and I hadn't broken up, but thousands of different things were swirling around my head, confusing me and making my life really difficult.

So I pulled my laptop into my little hideaway and opened up a word document.

Then I started typing down all the things that were filling my head, no matter how stupid, judgmental, or even dramatic they were.

Logan must be upset, why did I date him in the first place?, I love him, Mallory is a big fat bitch who's slowly ruining my life, water is so cool, Dr.Patel should hear about this development, mom will be upset, Devon's gonna fucking kill me, what are people going to say, why can't I just forgive him?

That last one seemed bright in the dark, sticking out in my mind.

I felt like Dumbledore, who would use his wand to pull all the thoughts from his brain and put him into that little well thing.

Unless I chucked my laptop down a well, though, my personal thoughts would never do that.

Why couldn't I forgive Logan?

I had never been as close to my mother as I noticed other people were. We didn't go to the salon to get our nails done, we never cooked Thanksgiving dinner together. We did little things, like going for walks around the neighborhood, and occasionally going out for Panera or something.

But in this situation, where I was so conflicted I could barely function, I did something I had never really done before: I went to my mother for advice.

"Mom?" I asked meekly, clinging to the frame of the kitchen doorway. She looked up from her nature magazine, her eyebrows raising at the red puffy bags underneath my eyes.

"Yes, Nikki?" she asked, pulling her reading glasses from the bridge of her nose.

"I-I had a big fight with Logan." I whispered, dropping my eyes from hers.

She looked troubled, and I slowly crept forward, pulling a chair out and sitting down next to her.

"Do you want to talk about it?" I had never really noticed how upfront and blunt she was.