Alphas War

Chapter 54

Liam stayed with me the whole night, lay beside me on the floor with his arms tightly locked around me. I replayed the kiss over and over again in my head, the ache in my chest amplifying as I thought about what I had done.

I'd kissed Liam.

Zach would never forgive me. How could I explain this to him? What possible reason could I give that would justify kissing my husbands brother.

"I'm sorry," I had told Liam when he left the next morning. I'd repeated those words over and over to him, but I couldn't help but feel flooded with guilt.

"Ella, I promise it's okay," he continued to assure me. He was lying. He didn't want me to feel guilty. But how could I not?

Once he had left, the house felt empty again and I curled up beside Zach. He was so cold. I would've done anything to feel his arms wrap around mine, to hear his heartbeat against my ear as I snuggled up with him, to hear his soothing voice telling me he loves me.

"Come back to me," I whispered in his ear, tugging the bed covers up over the both of us to try and trap in any heat. "Please, just come back to me."

I held my breath as I waited. He had to come back. He just had to. He knew I couldn't live without him. "The baby needs you," I sobbed. How could he do this to us? How could he leave us alone?

He still wouldn't wake up. He remained in the same position that he'd been in for a week now. I curled my arms tightly around his waist, burying my face in his neck and allowing myself to cry. It was all I could do.

"Ella?" A voice called after what could have been minutes or could have been hours. I wanted to move, to turn around and greet him, but I couldn't.

"Can I come in?" He asked, followed by his soft footsteps. I snivelled as the bed dipped behind me before a hand rested on my shoulder. "It's going to be okay," he told me. "I promise."

"No!" I exclaimed, shaking my head and sending my tears scattering across the bed. Snot dripped from my nose and the shirt Zach was wearing was constantly damp from my tears, snot and dribble as I cried against him.

"I know this is hard," Dean told me softly. It hadn't occurred to me that I hadn't seen him until now. "Okay, I know. I've been in your position. When I lost your mom it killed me."

All I could do was shake my head. He had no idea. My mom didn't love him like Zach loved me. They didn't share a relationship like ours. He didn't know.

"It gets easier," he whispered, squeezing my shoulder.

"When?" I blubbered, tightening my hold on Zach.

"Give it time."

I couldn't. I could take another second of the pain. Being without Zach was too agonising, I needed to be with him again. I didn't care how, I just needed him.

"I'm pregnant," I muttered under my breath, muffling the sound of my voice with Zach's shirt. He had to understand now. He had to realise that things weren't going to get better.

He was silent for the longest time before suddenly, I was being pulled away from my husband and folded into Deans arms. I tried resisting for a moment, but I needed the warmth of a living person, just for a minute.

"I'm sorry Ella," he said softly, cradling my head against him. I cried against his chest, unaware that until now, I had really needed my dad. He held me tightly, making me feel just a little bit safer. "I promise you, it won't hurt this much forever."

"Yes it will," I wailed, clinging to him.

"No, it won't. It gets a little bit easier and a little bit easier until things start to feel normal again. And maybe having this baby is a good thing," he said, kissing the top of my head, "it means he's never really going to be gone. This baby will be a part of him that you will have with you forever."

"But I want him," I snivelled. I needed him.

"I know sweetheart." I'd never heard Dean speak so softly. He sounded so comforting and I sunk into his arms, needing someone to hold me for a little while. "Believe me, having you makes it feel like your mom never left."

I wiped the back of my hand across my face, smearing tears across my cheek before looking up at him. "That's what my dad used to say," I mumbled.

Dean smiled softly before pulling me closer to him once again. I stayed in his arms for hours, neither of us saying a word. I mulled over what he had said, about the baby being a piece of Zach. I knew he was right, but I wasn't sure if a piece of him would be enough. Could that really compensate for having him with me?

****
Liams POV:

"He was here all day yesterday," Ryder told Chris and I as we sat in the office. Apparently, Chris had managed to get through to Dean and he had spent the last two days with Ella, sitting with her while she cried. "He even got her to eat something."

"Really?" I asked incredulously. Ella wouldn't even think about food and whenever one of us asked her to eat something she didn't even bother to respond. "Is she doing any better?"

He shrugged his shoulders. "I'm not sure... but Dean thinks we should try and move Zach's body," he told us.

"I thought we agreed that it wasn't a good idea?" Chris asked, raising an eyebrow.

"We have to do it sometime," he responded. "Dean thinks the longer we leave it, the harder it will be. He's coming round in a minute."

I sighed. Taking Zach away from Ella seemed risky to me. She was already heartbroken and unstable, who knows what she would do if she couldn't even see him anymore, even if it was just his body.

I sighed again when someone knocked the  office door and Dean and Aiden entered, neither of them looking particularly happy. "Are you sure about this?" Chris asked Dean.

"The more attached she becomes to being next to him, the harder it will be to separate her from his body. He can't stay there forever."

Chris nodded, glancing briefly at me before turning back to Dean. "So what's the plan?"

"Well, I'm going to go up and tell her that we need to move him. We can store the body with the pack healers until the funeral, which I think should be soon, she needs a chance to say a final goodbye and then she can start to move on."

"And you think it will just be that easy?" I asked him, raising an eyebrow.

"No." He shook his head. "She isn't going to be happy but if you guys can handle getting his body out of there, I'll try and calm her down. Is that okay?" He glanced at me before moving to Chris who nodded.

"Yeah that's fine. Maybe we can have the funeral tomorrow? There's no point waiting around."

"I don't think that's a good idea," Aiden muttered. We all turned to him in confusion, waiting for elaboration when he quietly cleared his throat. "Ella's going to be upset enough today after we move him, shouldn't we give her some time before the funeral?"

Dean shook his head. "We can't keep giving her time to feel better before taking him away all over again. Chris is right, we shouldn't wait."

"You can't have the funeral tomorrow," Aiden argued, shaking his head.

Dean stared at his son in confusion while I shared a similar glance with Chris and Ryder. Up until now, Aiden hadn't said much about the situation and suddenly, he was demanding we wait.

"What's going on Aiden?" Dean asked, raising an eyebrow.

His eyes flickered to me for a moment before moving to Chris. With a long sigh, he turned back to his father. "I preserved his body," he muttered, meeting his dads gaze head on, "so we have to wait until after the full moon. Just in case."

Ryder and Chris both looked as confused as I did, however Deans eyes grew wide. "Are you saying...?" He trailed off, gasping when Aiden nodded.

"What is it?" Chris suddenly barked, clearly impatient.

Sympathy flooded Deans eyes as he lowered himself onto the sofa. "If a wolf dies from injuries that would normally heal on a full moon, their body will heal if it's preserved."

I stared for a moment, certain that I'd heard him wrong. "Are-are you saying..?"

"Zach could come back."