Alphas War

Chapter 57

The sound of the doorbell ringing pulled me from my trance. I sat in the living room, my eyes glued to the photo album my mother had made. There was an image in there that I had been staring at for hours. It was from the day I was born. My mother lay on the bed in the pack doctors, my father stood beside her, holding her hand. And I was in their arms, wrapped in my baby blanket, a new born.

I snapped the book shut and grabbed a tissue, drying my damp cheeks quickly before moving to the front door. When I opened it, Tyler and Ryder stood on the other side, quizzical looks on their faces.

I let them in, moving towards the office silently. I knew this conversation wasn't going to be easy, however I had made up my mind and nobody was going to change it.

"Is everything okay?" Ryder asked me, dropping onto the sofa beside his brother while I moved to sit on the other.

I tapped my fingers together nervously, unable to sit still or look either of them in the eye as I nodded. "I want to step down as Alpha."

They were silent for a moment and when I finally risked glancing up, I saw shock fall over their features. "I told you yesterday Ella, you can't step down."

I shook my head. "No, you told me the consequences of stepping down. And I've accepted the fact I'll have to face those consequences."

Ryder looked pained for a moment. "You're running?" He asked breathlessly, his eyes filling with moisture.

I bit my lip, staring back down at my hands and taking a long breath before replying. "No," I answered, "I'm not running."

"Ella," Tyler growled, shaking his head at me.

"What?" Ryder looked between the two of us. "What does that mean you aren't running? What are you going to do?"

I felt my heart crack in my chest as I forced the words out. "I'm going to announce my decision to the pack and allow people to fight it out to decide who takes my place," I stated, my voice weak as tears filled my eyes. "And then whoever does will kill me."

"What!"

"You're not doing that Ella," Tyler snapped.

"No you're not!" Ryder raised to his feet, his fists clenched at his sides. "No way will I let you."

I shook my head. "You can't stop me. I'm still you're alpha right now, nobody ranks above me therefor nobody can stop me from making this decision."

"I don't give a crap about my ranking in the pack Ella!" Ryder yelled. "I'm your friend and I won't let you kill yourself!"

I finally forced myself to meet his gaze. "It's what I want. It's what's best."

He shook his head. "What about the baby? You would really sentence your own child to death?"

Tyler looked shocked for a moment as his eyes moved to my stomach. But I didn't take my eyes off Ryders fury filled ones. "This is better for the baby than being a target in a war between species," I hissed, "and better than being alone, on the run because of me."

He shook his head. "Death isn't better," he snapped, "no way."

"How could it not be? They won't have to worry about being attacked for being different. They won't have to deal with any of the consequences of being my child. We can be with Zach again," I whispered, feeling a sense of peace run through my veins at the idea. "This is what's best for both of us."

He scoffed. "Oh please, this is what's easiest for you."

I stayed silent for a moment, letting the tears fall down my cheeks as the reality of my decision settled. No matter what anyone else said, I was certain that this was better than a life filled with pain and misery.

"I'm sorry," I told my best friend sincerely. I hated that this would hurt him and the people I loved. But they would move on. They could be happy again. I couldn't. Not without Zach. "I really am," I muttered, "but I've already weighed up all the options and this is what I've decided. Nobody will change my mind."

Ryder strode to the window of the office, his back to me while his chest rose up and down in quick, heavy movements. "Zach would never forgive you," he finally said, turning back to me.

"Zach's dead."

He startled for a moment, staring back at me with wide eyes. It was unsurprising considering this was the first time I'd admitted it out loud. Until now the words just wouldn't come. They were too painful to say aloud. They seemed too final. "He's gone and he's never coming back," I sighed.

My best friend shook his head again, his eyes narrowed. "And what if you're wrong?"

I rolled my eyes. "Don't be ridiculous," I said with a huff, "nothing that you say is going to change my mind Ryder, this is what I want. I want the pain to end. I want to be with my husband again."

"Then listen to me!" He shouted, taking a step forward. "You can't do this because he will be heartbroken. I'm not going to be the one to tell him what you did when he wakes up."

I stared for the longest time at the person I'd considered my best friend since I was a kid. He'd been there for me more than any other person and I was eternally grateful for that. I knew he would never lie to me, certainly not about something like this, but somehow I just couldn't believe him.

"Wake up?" I breathed, my voice barely audible. "What do you mean?"

He sighed heavily, moving to retake his seat beside a baffled looking Tyler. "Your brother preserved his body to stop him from... decaying," he said, cringing at the word that causes a stabbing feeling in my chest. "It was the same serum that he gave your father when he died."

I stumbled backwards, finding the sofa quickly before dropping onto it. "What?" I asked. "What?"

"If his wounds can be healed by the full moon then-."

"He'll come back?" I asked, my tone dripping with desperation.

Ryder nodded softly. "Maybe. Only if his wounds can be healed."

I sobbed out loud, the feeling of relief feeling foreign in my chest. I couldn't imagine how incredible it would feel to he reunited with my husband. It was an indescribable wave of emotion that hit me.

"So you can't step down, you just can't," he sighed, leaning back on the sofa and letting out a long breath.

I couldn't begin to process my thoughts as they swarmed my mind. "Then I'll wait," I finally muttered, "until after the full moon."

"And if he wakes up?" Ryder questioned.

I shrugged. "Then we'll figure it out together," I said with a sigh. "And if he doesn't..." I mumbled, feeling a wave of dread in my gut, "then I'll step down. I can't feel like this forever."

I swiped the tears from my cheek and moved my hands to rest on my stomach. He sighed heavily, "fine," he muttered with a huff, "if I really can't change your mind... but I think you're making a huge mistake."