Random things

Abuse

WARNING! This chapter includes topic's of abuse. Don't read this if this could trigger you. I'll put 3 stars (***) when it gets deeper there's not that much of deep deep stuff. 

A/N: These are just my thoughts and stuff. My situation is not like all and really my situation is far from the "normal" of these types of situations. I am also not here for attention. This truly happened and this was truly what I was thinking right then. I thought I would post this to show that this stuff happens and that people that go through stuff like this really aren't alone and also to show that I understand and I'm here to listen if you need it. 

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Abuse

I don't want to call it that but it's the best word I can come up with.

I don't want to be one of those millions of kids and teens that say they've felt with abuse but none of them do either.

The given definition of abuse is: treating (a person or an animal) with cruelty or violence, especially regularly or repeatedly. 

Now maybe that's not exactly what this is but you can't tell me the similarity's.

It hurts my soul to know that there are so many people that go through that [abuse] but to understand that my sister does to breaks me even further.

It may not be "intentional" but it happens. And it happens repeatedly.

It's like a light switch. One second your being the best absolute dad but the second you can't take it any longer your not. The second you can't come up with a better way to handle the situation the switch flips. The second your pushed to far over the edge it's dark and the light is switched.

I don't get it. You probably don't think about it this way. Nor does mom. Nor does (insert my sisters name) ₁ . Nor does (insert my other sisters name) ₂ .

She has a switch too. The second she can't handle it she looses control of her emotions, her actions, and her words. She attacks and annoys but she's different. Her mind does work like it "should" but you don't know how to help her so it can.

And then the switch is back on. Your a good dad and she's a good kid. Your hugging and forgiving each other. By tomorrow you'll forget. But I won't. I'm not in that forgive and forget stage and I don't know when I will be. I don't understand how you can so easily let it go.

You tell me after the fact that it's not what I think it is but you can't tell me what it is. 

Why?

You tell me that it could be worse but you don't say it shouldn't be at all when it should.

It can be worse yes but it shouldn't be happening at all.

You tell me that kids don't show up with bruises and cuts that last forever at school but you can't prove it.

I bet you one of them does.

Maybe they won't always be "seen" but there there. That scar may have faded but it's deep in there soul. That memory plagues them.

Maybe she has scars and bruises. I wouldn't know and nor would you because we don't look at her body.

You tell me that she's being dramatic but you can't tell me she is when your not her.

You tell me that your not kicking her that hard even though it looks like it but you can't tell me what I see isn't happening.