The girl who came in late this morning and also knocked over the soup just now is sitting in front of me. I think her name is Belle.
Yes, Belle.
I just gave her my spoon because I had two, and she had zero.
I feel a bit sorry for her. Her hair is wet from the soup, and I think there is some white paint on her face. Not many people seem to like her, and I wonder why.
Belle looks up. She sees I am looking at her, so I quickly look away. I pretend I find the window on the left very interesting.
"Finn, was your name right? She asks.
Quickly I Turn my head back at her.
'No, you can call me Charles, ' I say.
What! Why did I say that? That's the worst joke I've ever made; it's so bad you can't call this a joke anymore. But Belle's left side of her lip curls up a bit. Half a smile, she might not even think it was a stupid joke. I hope. Probably not.
"Come a little closer; your tie is not right," she says.
Oh?
I look down, feeling ashamed. Yes, that's right. That stupid tie took me hours to tie, but it didn't work out. I lean forward. Belle unties it from my neck and puts it around her own. "Pay attention," she talks calmly.
"Look, at first you put this part over this, and then you turn this part over that, look: like this." She demonstrates it a few times.
"Now you can try it yourself." She gives the tie back to me.
Oops, I notice that I have not looked at the explanation at all but at her. I put it around my neck and try to tie a knot; I do the best I can. Really. Belle pulls up the left side of her lip again. Half a smile.
"Let me do it," she says.
She leans forward over the table and ties it gently around my neck. I don't think a girl who isn't part of my family has ever been this close to me. Suddenly, I start sweating.
''All done.'' Belle leans back again.
''Thank you.'' I notice that my voice is trembling a little.
"No problem, it would only be a shame if you walked around with having your tie on wrong.''
I want to continue the conversation, but it seems like it has been enough for Belle. She quickly finishes her soup, then looks down again, just as before the food arrived. Sometimes, I see her bite on her lip. Sophie taps me on the shoulder.
"What are you looking at?" she asks.
"Erm... nothing, I was just zoned out for a minute," I say.
Sophie smiles. "Well, then I think you stared very much at one person," her voice sounds amused.
I swallow. "Who then? "
I hate this always when Sophie thinks I am the slightest interested in someone, I hear it at least twenty times a day. But I guess that's what siblings do... Sophie answers my question: "
Natasja, I knew you would like her. She's already my best friend, so if you're going to have a date with her, that would be amazing!"
I look her confused in the eye.
"Me? What?? No! " I can't help but stutter.
Natasja, that blonde girl sitting next to Belle? Or should I say Barbie? I wonder what is still natural about her skin. It must contain at least 20 liters of make-up. I automatically look at Belle, I like the way she looks way more, and she is even covered in soup and paint. Shit, I am not starting to get a crush, right? I pinch myself in the arm. Sophie always acts crazy when she has a crush; I don't want to change into that.
The soup plates are cleared from the table and exchanged for the main course: ribs and mashed potatoes. It's pretty good. I try to focus on my food, but I just can't take my eyes off Belle. The more I don't want it, the more my eyes drift to her. She does everything very calmly, as if the flesh she is cutting is a diamond that can break at any moment.
Belle looks at me once during dinner. She raises her lips slightly; I can't name it a real smile. I smile back broadly, but I don't think she saw it.
She finishes eating and stares at the void under the table again. Her brown hair wraps around her head like a curtain, yet I can still see that her face is expressionless.
Wait, are her eyes getting wet? Natasja sees it, too, and she tells her friends. Another girl says something, and they all start laughing. I can't hear what they say, but it's probably unpleasant. Belle wipes away a tear with her hand. When she sees me looking, she quickly pulls her sleeve a little further over her hand. It seems like she feels caught. I look at her questioningly, but the eye contact has already expired in the last century.
Suddenly, she gets up and walks away from the table. Nobody from the teachers seems to notice. Why is she leaving? There will be dessert, right?
"Phew, finally, she's gone." Natasja pushes Belle's plate away dramatically as if it were full of germs. ''Ugh, she is so depressed she ruins the whole atmosphere here.''
One of Natasha's friends is waving her hand exaggeratedly as if she is cleaning the air.
''The air feels so much lighter now, you guys feel it too?'' she asks.
A lot of girls nod yes as an answer. To my greatest surprise, I see that Soph nods along. Wait what? What is going on? She doesn't want to be friends with those girls, right?
I take a good look at the girls. They are not ugly; they are really pretty, but somehow, their arrogant expressions immediately ruin their look. How can Soph feel any connection with them? She has always been friends with nice people, not mean girls.
A woman puts down trays with some kind of chocolate pudding on them. I hesitate to eat. It doesn't seem edible, but all the other kids start to eat it, so maybe it isn't that bad. I take a bite. It tastes okay, I guess. I look a bit sadly at the place where Belle sat before. What is going on with her?
YOU ARE READING
A close call to midnight
RomanceA depressed girl who goes to a boarding school falls in love with the new student. Possible !TW! contains subjects as bullying, self-harm ,actions of suicide, suicidal thoughts, abusive households.