A close call to midnight

Finn

Our conversation quickly took a wrong turn. I don't understand what went wrong. Just seconds ago, we were chatting nicely.

 I feel a knot starting to tie in my stomach; this is not how I intended it to go. I want to comfort Belle because she just said nobody likes her here, so I speak up: 

"Oh no, don't say that. I am sure people like you, and I-" 

Before I can finish my sentence, Belle interrupts me: 

"STOP THAT." 

She looks very wound up, and I can't help but wonder what I said that set her off like this. 

"You DON'T know how it is. You know this school, these people, these kids? You know what they do to me, what they make me do?" Belle is screaming at me. 

I look at her angsty, not knowing what to expect. Tears are streaming down her cheeks.

Then, suddenly, she rolls up her sleeve. I get a flashback from a movie I watched once, not too long ago. People who are depressed, cut themselves. They cut themselves- I close my eyes instinctively but open them right away again. I regret it immediately. I struggle to breathe when Belle pushes her arm into my face without any warning or hesitation.

 Her whole arm is covered in cuts. Some are old. Most are fresh, and there are even some still bleeding. They cover her whole arm. My heart misses several beats. I think that I am going to faint or at least puke. 

Jesus... Jesus. 

I have never seen anything like this, and certainly not in real life. 

Belle continues talking to me, but I hear nothing. Everything around me is getting blurry, and it feels like her voice is miles away from me. I desperately want to look away from her arm but can't. I don't know what to do. 

The only thing I am focussing on, really, is trying to keep my vomit inside. Not that I find Belle disgusting; I find her the opposite of it, and that's why it is so shocking for me to realize that she does this to herself.

 I now feel myself start to get a bit mad. I have known this girl for what? Like 3 hours, and then suddenly she thinks it is OK for her to shove this into my face? That is not a normal thing to do! Strangers don't just show you things like that. You need to know and trust someone on a special level before sharing that type of information. Not just shove it in somebody's face without any warning.

 I want to say something angry, like asking her why she thinks this is an OK thing to do, but before I get the chance, she walks away from me. Big steps. Oh, so she is mad too, right? 

Well, I guess that we are both mad then. We are strangers to each other but also angry with each other. How pleasant. I don't even see how that is possible. She does not even have a reason to be mad at me, really! We were chatting nicely, and I was trying to get to know her. Instead of walking away from me, she should be apologizing for what she just did. I quickly follow her. 

"Stop! Don't you dare walk away from me! Not after doing something like that!" 

My voice sounds a little meaner than I intended. However, she gives me zero reaction, so I figure she doesn't hear or WANT to hear me. It is very likely the second. I start to run, and not much later, I catch up with her while grabbing her by the shoulder pretty firmly. She stops walking abruptly and then looks at me with eyes full of tears. Those blue eyes that look right through you.

 All the angry things I want to scream at her disappear from my lips within the second we make eye contact. What am I thinking? I am acting like a victim when she is clearly the one who needs help. Was it psychotic for her to just shove her arm into my face? Yes, 100 %! But me screaming at her will not make anything better, right? Probably just worse. A nasty thought then infects my brain.