Big Booty

2

  "Hey, Cassandra," Felecia says, smilin' at me as soon as I walk through the glass door of Nappy No More hair salon to get my hair and nails done up right. I've been comin' to Nappy No More for years and can't a bitch on the East Coast fuck with my girl Pasha when it comes to servin' up the hair, hands, and feet. "Wasssup, girl? Long time no see, boo. You haven't been here in ages. What'chu been up to?"

"Heeeeeey, Miss FeFe," I say, pullin' my Chanels up over my eyes and restin' them on top of my head. "Yes, girl. It's been a while. But I'm here now, sugah-boo. You know how I do it; ready to get this wig did, boo."

Shit, the last time I saw Felecia was at Pasha's weddin' over the summer. And, oh, what a spectacular event it was! A real five-star, red-carpet affair with loads of dollars, dick, diamonds, drinks, and hot drama! Whew! It was everything a girl could ask for. And I served 'em like no other in a white silk dress that wrapped around this body like gauze, leaving nothin' to the imagination. If I have nothin' else, body is it! I gave 'em ass, titties, and a tiny waist! Yes, boo, if you gonna do it, do it right! Steal the goddamn show! Serve 'em heat! And keep 'em all talkin'. Big Booty, baby!

Mmmph. Anyway, I had 'em all doing double-takes and snappin' necks to get a look, okay? But the real showstopper was the drama that kicked up with her cousins—these three hoes, identical triplets—no less, who share the same dick. Baby, I'm all for sharin' another ho's man. Shit, I do it all the time. But, those hoes took dick sharin' to a whole other level. And one of 'em was real scandalous with it. Pretendin' to be one of her sisters, then fuckin' her sister's secret sidepiece like it wasn't nothin'. From what I heard that night, Miss Messy almost got away with it. But the niggah she was fuckin' behind her other sister's back was in the weddin' party and is related to Jasper, Pasha's husband. Baaaaaaby, do I need to say more? Explosive! Whew! And I saw firsthand, along with Felecia, all the messy fireworks. Boom! That bitch was scandalous!

"I know that's right," she says, pullin' out her BlackBerry. She scrolls through it, responds to somethin' and then slips it back inside her front pocket.

I glance around the shop. There are only about eight or nine chicks waitin' and four sittin' under dryers. There are four new stylists here that I am not familiar with. Usually on Thursdays it's practically wall-to-wall hoes tryna get it right for the upcomin' weekend.

"Mmph, it's real quiet up in here this mornin', boo. I see Miss Pasha got some new workers up in here, too."

She flips through the appointment book. "Yeah, girl. She had to. After that shit that popped off with Alicia's man comin' up in here beatin' her ass . . . "

"Oooh, Miss FeFee. And I'm still pissed I missed that tall, dark-chocolate niggah beatin' her down. I already know watchin' that big, strappin' niggah whoopin' that ho's ass woulda had me all juicy. I woulda had to change my drawz on the spot. And somethin' told me to bring my ass down here that day, too."

She laughs. "Girrrl, you're too much. But, chile, he wore that ass out right up in Pasha's office. That crazy niggah had us all shook. They carried Alicia's ass up outta here on a damn stretcher, and him out in handcuffs."

"Ooh, and I bet that niggah looked sexy as hell bein' dragged out all sweaty and whatnot."

She cracks up. "Girl, I can't with you."

"Uh-huh. I know you can't. That bitch didn't deserve a big, thick niggah like Chauncey any-damn-way. Stupid ho."

"Girl, all over her suckin' some other niggah's dick at some party. A mess. And then that shit with Shuwanda."

"What about that ho?"

"Girl, she was talkin' all kinds of shit about Pasha behind her back."