Big Booty

22

I take a deep breath. "Julius, have I ever fuckin' kept you away from Joshua?"

"Nah, you haven't. That's one thing I can honestly say, Cass. You've never been on that crazy shit when it comes to me seein' our son."

"Then why the fuck is you tryna finger-fuck me and take my son away from me, Julius?"

He sighs. "Cass, I'm not tryna take our son away from you. I want full residential custody. He can stay with you on the weekends, and alternatin' holidays."

My heart drops to my feet. I feel lightheaded. I'm startin' to feel like I'ma throw up. I ain't tryna be without my son. But I ain't about to beg no niggah, either. But I feel myself on the verge of beggin', pleadin' for him to not do this. I swallow. It feels like I have a hard dick down in my throat, pluggin' up my airway. And right now that's what I wish it was instead of the shit this niggah's tryna shove down my neck. "Niggah-bitch, boom! I'm not about to be no goddamn part-time mother."

"Look, Cass. I don't wanna beef with you about it. I know you're upset. You should be. But, let's face it. You brought this shit on ya'self with all the shit you keep going. Besides, you gotta enough kids to deal with. Joshua will be better off with me. This way he can get the attention he deserves."

"Niggah, he deserves to be with his mother! And I don't keep shit goin', niggah. I mind my business. I don't do drama. And you know it."

He laughs. "Yo, Cass, stop. You have more assault charges and disorderly persons offenses than either one of us can keep up with. You stay in the middle of some shit. And I don't want my son around it anymore."

"Niggah, you a goddamn lie! I don't stay in shit. Bitches bring they shit to me. I don't go out lookin' for it."

"Yeah, that's the problem. Maybe you ain't out there lookin' for it. But you damn sure out shakin' ya ass and fightin'. You spend more time at the bars than you do at home bein' a mother. It's for the best."

"Niggah-coon, boom! You'se a goddamn lie. I'm home every damn day with my kids. I'm at every school function and parent-teacher conference. They come home to a clean goddamn house, and a house full of food. Don't do me, niggah!"

"Cass, I'm not sayin' you a bad mother. All I'm saying is, it's time for Joshua to live with me. I know you do the best you can. But, I'm sorry. It's not enough. My son needs a stable home; something you're not able to give him. We can hash out all the details in court."

Cop or not, if this niggah was standin' right here I'd take it to his goddamn face. But I know goin' upside his head would only make shit worse for me so I shake thoughts of clawin' his face up and lumpin' him up. But I swear, I wanna do this niggah real good. Big dick bitch!

I crumple the letter in my hand, then throw it across the room. "Julius, eat the inside of my ass, bitch. And eat it goddamn good 'cause I am goin' to bring you down, niggah. If you think I'ma let you take my son from me without a good fight, you gotta 'nother thing comin'. And you know I love a good goddamn fight so buckle up, bitch."

I hang up on his ass, then march out into the livin' room. I stand at the bottom of the stairs and call out, "Joshua! Get yo' . . . " I catch myself from goin' off on him 'cause I know he ain't the enemy. His fahver is. "Joshua!"

"Yes?" he says, standin' at the top of the stairs.

"Come here, boo. Come talk to Mommy."

He looks at me suspiciously before comin' down. He must think I'm tryna lure him into some kinda trap, then fuck him up or somethin'. I let him know he ain't gettin' a beat down. "Oh, okay," he says, soundin' relieved as he follows me to my room. I tell him to shut the door behind him.