Big Booty

41

  "You ready to crank it up?" I ask, shiftin' my cell from one ear to the other as I'm walkin' outta BJ's over in Linden, pushin' the shoppin' cart toward my truck. I done spent over three hundred dollars in groceries this mornin'. I tell you, thank Gawd for EBT cards; otherwise I'd have to spend my own money.

"I am more than ready. It's time."

I grin, disarmin' the alarm. I open the back door and start puttin' the groceries in. "Yessss, it is, goddammit. And I have that list for you, too. Signed, sealed and ready to be delivered."

"Perfect."

"Ooooh, they ain't gonna know what hit 'em."

"That's exactly what I'm hoping for," the caller on the other end says.

"Good. I have everything all lined up."

"I don't know how I can ever repay you."

"Oh, trust me. If all goes as planned, you'll have more than enough money to do so."

"You know it's gonna get messy."

"Ooh, but I live for this kinda messy," I say. "These bitches gotta get it."

"Then let the games begin."

"Let 'em, boo."

I disconnect. Two minutes later, my cell rings again. I glance at it. It's Vernon. "What, niggah?"

"Yo, I wanna see you."

I frown. "See me for what?"

"Yo, what you think?"

"Uhh, I think ya ass is crazy, that's what the fuck I think. I know you ain't callin' me tryna get some'a this pussy, ass, or throat and ya black ass don't even keep up with ya child support payments. So let me spell it out for you: No, motherfucka, I ain't fuckin' you. You can see ya sons, but that's it."

"Yeah, whatever. I know you still love me, Cass."

I laugh, shuttin' the door, then pushin' the cart over to the side. "Niggah, I ain't never love you. I loved the dingaling, boo."

"Yeah aiight. Tell me you don't miss all'a this dick, Cass? I want some pussy, Cass."

I slide into my truck. "Well, that's too goddamn bad. Where's that flat-back, ugly bitch of yours?"

"Fuck if I know. We beefin'. I ain't feelin' her no more."

"Oh, I get it. She done put ya sorry ass out and now you wanna try 'n leech ya way up on me, huh?"

"Cass, I ain't gotta leech off'a you, baby. I already gotta 'nother spot I'm at. So I'm good. I just wanna see you. I miss you, yo."

I turn my lips up in disgust.

"Vernon, you been drinkin', niggah?"

"Yeah, a lil' sumthin'. I had a few shots."

I glance at the time, backin' outta the parkin' space, then headin' outta the lot toward Route 9. "Niggah, it ain't even eleven o'clock and ya ass already tossin' back yak. Mmmph. You fuckin' pathetic."

I hear him blowin' into the air and know the niggah's blazin'. "I ain't tryna hear all that, Cass." He grunts. "I wanna fuck."

I frown. "Niggah, I know you ain't playin' with ya dick, is you?"

"Yeah, a lil' sumthin'. I wanna see you. I wanna put this dick inside'a you, baby. Beat that pussy up real good."

"Niggah-coon, boom! You can beat ya'self to death, then go bury ya'self and see the inside of the grave. I'm done fuckin' you, Vernon." He wants to know why we ain't work out. "Niggah, that ain't no mystery. 'Cause you ain't shit. You don't wanna hold down a job, ya ass ain't got good credit, and you don't take care of ya goddamn kids."