Big Booty

40

Oooh, wait a goddamn minute. Did I ever tell you how sexy I am? Did I mention that I have a bangin' body to go along with all this sexiness? Mmmph. I stay turnin' heads, okay. And today is no different than any other day when I'm out poppin' 'n bouncin' my ass.

Today I happen to be in the mall, Short Hills—of course, loaded down with bags. I know, what else is new? What. Ever. Anyway, I'm surprised at how many niggahs are out here on a Thursday mornin' shoppin'. The weekdays are usually reserved for the white bitches with nannies and housekeepers, which is when I like to come out and get my shop on. But today feels like niggah central up in here. And it's only a lil' after twelve.

Mmmph. I love me some Mall at Short Hills. It's real classy. And you ain't ever gotta worry about no drama hoes comin' up in here tryna rah-rah it out. Oh, no. They keep the hoodrat trash out.

All I know is, I don't need to be up in here today droppin' heavy dollars. And I'm hopin' like hell that I can recoup the four grand I done spent in here today. Shit, after that fight—well, it really wasn't that much of a fight, more like a beatdown since she didn't fight back—I had with Day'Asia last week, I needed to treat myself to a few new trinkets. So here I am. But I did buy Day'Asia a few things, too. Not that she deserved a goddamn thing 'cause she's still on my "beat-a-bitch-down" list. But since she's back home I can't have her lookin' any ole kinda way. Shit. If I'm fly as ever, my kids gotta stay fly, too. That's how I do it.

But if I gotta toss ya ass out on the streets, or shut you down 'cause ya black ass tryna get grand 'n grown, then you can look like hot trash for all I care. I bet you, Miss Day'Asia will think long and hard before she tries to do me again. Anyway, I went into Macy's—'cause she ain't ready for Bloomies or Saks. And she definitely ain't ready for Gucci or Louie—to shop for her. And hope I don't have'ta rip the shit off her ass for tryna do me any time soon. I promise you, the next time I gotta hop on her ass I ain't gonna be nice about it.

So far, her ass ain't been doin' nothin' but goin' to school, comin' straight home, doin' her chores, and keepin' her room clean, which ain't hard to do since ain't shit in it. The first few days I had her ass sleepin' on the floor with only a sheet, blanket and pillow. But after a few days of that I broke down and bought a blow-up mattress for her to sleep on. But she ain't gettin' shit else up in there 'til she earns it.

Sorry, but Day'Asia's ass had it good. So if she wants the luxuries she once had bein' back at home, then she's gonna need to do what the fuck I say, when I say it and not try 'n do me with no drama. 'Cause you know I ain't the one for it.

Well, anywaaaay . . . of course Darius still ain't speakin' to me. And that bitch of his is eatin' it all up, I'm sure. 'Cause that's how that hateful bitch is. I ain't seen her, but when I do I'ma punch her real good in her goddamn throat.

I stop walkin' to pull my ringin' phone from outta my bag. I glance at the screen. "Hey," I say, maneuverin' my bags so I can carry them all in on hand. But I have too many.

"Yo, where you at?"

I frown. "Niggah, I don't answer to you."

"Yo, go 'head wit' that dumb shit. You free?"

I glance down at my watch. It's almost one. Oooh, I gotta get home soon. "No," I lie, takin' a seat on one of the benches. "Why?"

"Yo what da fuck? I wanna see you, yo."

I smirk. "I need some money."

He laughs. "When don't you? How much you tryna run me for now?" I tell him I need five grand. He sighs. "Yo, what da fuck you need so much money for? I bought that truck ya fine-ass ridin' in, so you ain't gotta car payment. You don't have any credit cards. And you on section-eight, so ya rent can't be no more than a few hunnid. So what da fuck is you doin' wit' all da paper I stay hittin' you wit'?"