Taehyung I am really worried about her. I look at the text RV sent me for the 100th time and sigh. This is not enough. I want to go to her and find out for myself if she's okay. At present moment I really don't care if the world finds out that we were dating or whoever gave the photos to media. Right now it feels pointless that we fought about that, such harsh words were exchanged between us. Now that I'm unable to contact her in anyway- it's killing me. I want to take my words back. I want to go back to that very moment and tell her that 'it's okay if others find out, we will deal somehow'. I also want to go to her now and tell her that 'lets figure something out to be together again' but her "Do not ever come back" is stuck in my head. It's been a very short time since we've separated but I already feel like a chunk of my heart is missing. And I won't be able to find it if she doesn't returns. After she left I really took a long look at how I reacted to everything and realised that she was right to get pissed and leave like that. What makes me more idiotic is I knew I was wrong the moment she walked out of my house but I didn't stop her. Jin, Suga and jungkook are here to see me after they heard about the incident. "If you're so restless just go and see her", Jin hyung advices. "I can't", How can I? It would be embarrassing. "Wae? Why?", jungkook asks. "Because she told me not to", I remind them. "Just don't listen", Suga hyung suggests. "What?" "Forget that she said something hurtful, don't focus on that. Instead think about the time when she made you feel special", Suga hyung explains patiently.
I try to think about the beautiful memories we have. I remember the time when she'd cook for us and give me some small chores so I won't feel useless. Whenever I was very busy and unable to reach her, she would send strawberries and chocolates and sometimes even flowers through staff. I always call her when I feel angry, she would calm me and remind me to be humble. When I was sad I would want to put my head on her shoulder and let her soothe me. She made me happy. Being with her felt right. Suga hyung is right, I should not care what she said when she was angry at me. I'm bloody going to see her. "I don't think I'll be able to drive, can someone drive me to the hospital?", I'm very shaky right now. "I'll come with you, as driver and moral support hyung", jungkook answers with a smile.
I see RV sitting alone on the uncomfortable chair outside her room. He sees us approaching and straightens. "How is she?", I ask him. "She's fine. She gained consciousness but went back to sleep", he looks really tired. "I want to see her", I tell him. "I don't understand why you'd want to see her. She's none of your business. You guys already broke up. You shouldn't be here" He's possibly frustrated, I remind myself that he's Arya's brother so I should not punch him in the face. "It was just a fight, we will get through this", I try to reason with him. "I told you not to break her heart, didn't I? But did you listen? No! You just let her go! she doesn't shows it but I know that she's hurt", he is pouring out his anger on me. "RV listen this is not the time or place to discuss all that. Just let me see her once and I'll leave. Just for 5 minutes please", I plead. At this point jungkook interferes and talks with RV, and he RV let's me get in. I knew jungkook would be useful. As I enter the room, everything else disappears. I see her on the bed with tubes attached to her wrist. I can see some purple marks on her face and her entire left hand is covered. Tears start falling from my eyes and my vision gets a bit blurry. I sit besides her hold her hand with care and talk to her. Everything that I wanted to say before. Everything that I shouldn't have said. ##**##**<3**##**## I💜U ⭐️ 💭
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