Loving a Killer | 18+

3.1 - Atonement

| Norah |

I found myself in the training room anyways, even though Maddox had made it clear we wouldn't be training today.

After realizing something was up with Maddox, I resorted to kicking and hitting the frustration out on the sand-filled bag in the training room. If he didn't want to enlighten me on what was going on, I knew that I would worry about it until he did. The only way to keep my mind free of all the Maddox-filled emotions was to occupy myself with physical exertion.

I pounded and pounded at the bag, dripping sweat in hope that I'd sweat all the bad thoughts out. Foolish, I know. But the tension that corded through me was constricting and I needed something - anything to loosen up.

"Looks like you have a bone to pick with that bag," I heard the snarky comment come from behind me. I whirled around, instantly recognizing who it was.

"Matteo, what the hell are you doing out of bed?" I scolded.

"Doc said I'm supposed to spend time up and about-" He started.

"Yes, up and about possibly walking down the hall at most. Not going down two major flights of stairs and walking all the way across the house!" I exclaimed though he seemed alright given the circumstances.

"I need to get around more than just the hall outside my bedroom. If I stay this bored I might lose my mind," He chuckled and walked over to the rolled-up mat against the wall. He sat down slowly, stiff in the torso in an attempt not to pull anything. I could tell he was trying to cover it up though.

"So are you going to tell me what that poor bag did to you to deserve to be beaten in such a way?" Matteo laughed, taking in the still shaking bag that I hadn't steadied.

"Nothing. I'm just relieving some tension," I told him honestly but instantly bit my tongue. I didn't want to lie to him so I should have avoided bringing the conversation up.

"Is it anything I should know about?" Matteo asked, looking at me with a concerned expression.

"It's nothing you don't already know about," I lied, "Just the same old worries now amplified since Victor knows who I am and what I look like. I've killed his brother and now he has even more reason to want to kill me."

It hurt to lie to Matteo. He was my closest friend. If it wasn't Maddox that I was involved with, I may have felt more open talking to him about it. But this was someone he saw as another brother, someone he knew. Matteo along with all of my other brothers knew how Maddox was. Who knew how they would react to their little sister being in a relationship with their mercenary.

Were we in a relationship? If it had to be hidden, how valid was it if we were in one? I need to stop thinking about this or I'm going to lose my mind.

"We're going to figure out how to take care of Victor, Norah. I've promised you we would never let anything happen to you and I plan to keep my word," Matteo assured me. I sighed and came over to sit next to him. He had no idea that Maddox and I were planning a suicide mission and that they wouldn't be able to protect me or promise me safety when I walked into the lion's den.

There were so many things I was keeping from him.

"I know, but how many other people will want me dead in my lifetime? Isn't this how it is going to be from now on?" I asked him what I had been worrying about deep down. Somehow, I knew Victor wouldn't be the last person to want me dead. As long as I was my father's daughter, there was no security.