Loving a Killer | 18+

2.1 - Decisions, Decisions

| Norah |

I found myself at the pool again, flustered and tense. This pool room had always been my getaway. It was my own personal oasis, far on the west end of the house, away from the busy spots in the house such as the kitchen, foyer, and rooms. The windows showed the view of the large rose garden and back yard. Though still covered in snow, the yard was still mystifying in its pure white state.

I pulled my cover-up off and dropped it on the chair with my towel. Gathering my hair up, I put my hair into a high ponytail before stepping into the warm saltwater. I sighed deeply and let myself relax in the encompassing liquid. It enveloped me in sheer bliss even though my mind seemed to be spinning with thoughts.

Though my body started to unwind, my head was heavy with the weight of Maddox's revelations. I could hardly wrap my thoughts around every word he said, more like every word he seemed to let slip. It felt like once he had admitted his emotions and how he felt, it was no longer just him holding onto the weight of those feelings. Now, I was too.

He said things I never expected him to say in a million years. I still couldn't fathom it. Part of me even wondered if it was just a card he was playing to get into my bed.

Though I didn't want to believe it, I knew it was a possibility.

I sighed and sank into the water so that it reached my chin. I closed my eyes and took in a deep breath of the salty, steamy air that filled the indoor pool room. I leaned back so that I began to float in the buoyant water. The way the soft liquid barely rippled as I laid still had never ceased to calm me. Yet this time, I was still agitated in my thoughts of what had just happened a little over an hour ago.

"You, Norah, are the closest thing to a weakness that I have ever had."

Those words echoed in my head and stayed trapped in my thoughts. I hated how I could almost hear him saying it, over and over again. I could hardly think without bringing myself back to that statement. I wish my mind could just shut off.

I told him that I was his, so then I wondered if being his weakness was a good thing or a bad thing. For him, it must have seemed like a bad thing, but to me, it meant that he felt the same way about me as I did him. It still hurt to know that he saw his feelings as something that made him weak. I hated to be considered his weakness.

But then Xander came into play. What about him? He had treated me so well ever since I had met him. Although when I first met him, I was intimidated by his green eyes and smirk. He had shown such kindness to me though. His kiss was always gentle, a little hungry and peeking on wanting something more, but always soft like he found me delicate. Thinking about how we have kissed made me giddy.

Maddox... We had had a love/hate relationship since the day we met. He 'cared' for me as a part of his job at first. I never knew what his angle was. The only time I felt like I knew is when he let himself slip and showed a brief glimmer of what I thought was his true, non-hitman self.

His kiss was intense, rough, bordering on lustful, seductive... nearing addictive at best. Yet at the same time, I found it to be pleasant. The times he kissed me, I loved it when he lost control for that split second before he caught himself and stopped. It felt forbidden, sinful, guilt-inducing almost. Thinking about it sent chills down my spine and goosebumps all over my body, my whole body heated in a blush at the intimacy of it. The pit of my stomach felt on fire and my heart pounded against my rib cage when he came that close to me. When he kissed me... words could barely describe it.