Y/N is going to commit Suicide in this and well yeah have fun.
It wasn't like Y/N was sad or anything... He had a lot of loving friends and a wonderful community but he didn't think he deserved them.
Everything just felt the same for Y/N. Over time his world started to lose more and more of its colour and now all he saw was dull. He couldn't find himself being excited for things he knew his old self would have enjoyed.
For example: A few months ago, there was a small meetup between some of the Minecraft Youtubers. Y/N, Wilbur, Tommy, Fundy, Phil and Niki all met up together in Brighton and of course Y/N was happy to be with his friends, but he also could have stayed in bed that day. His friends would have had more fun without him there anyways.
Y/N was convinced he didn't deserve them. They were doing so much for him and were generally the best friends anyone could ever wish for and he just can't give them the attention and affection he would like to.
"They wouldn't be mad at me if I disappeared, right? It won't take them too long to move on"
Now Y/N wasn't an Idiot. He knew that his friends would be incredibly sad if he took his life. He knew how it could affect their careers as a streamer. He himself was one of his own with a rather large fanbase.
But in the end Y/N decided that he couldn't keep going like this any longer. He just had no reason to stay any longer when everything felt the same anyways. He just wanted this to come to an end.
When he took the first pill, he started to genuinely smile for the first time in years and when he finished the whole bottle of pills he finally felt at peace.
The sudden disappearance of the popular twitch streamer U/N worried not only his fans but also his friends. Y/N seemed to have not told anyone about what he was doing or why he disappeared from social media completely.
Wilbur has called him multiple times due to them being really close. He was probably worrying the most from all. He noticed before how Y/N grew more and more distant from him and the others. He noticed how his smiles weren't genuine anymore and how fake his laugh sounded. He watched how Y/N started to lose the light in his eyes and how they started to become dull.
So to say Wilbur was worried was an understatement. He was not only worried but also felt guilty about not talking to Y/N about his wellbeing.
Phil tried to calm him down, saying he shouldn't worry to much and that Y/N probably had his reasons why he just didn't tell anyone. These words actually had the opposite affect to him: Why wouldn't Y/N tell one of them what he was doing.
The lore for the dream smp couldn't go on if Y/N was missing because he was taking a big role in it so he should have at least told dream about it but no, not even the green man himself knew what was going on.
At one point Wilbur almost bought a plane ticket to America to come see Y/n and ask him what was wrong but decided against it. Maybe Y/N really had his reasons why he didn't tell anyone. Yeah, maybe he needed a break from all of this and obviously didn't want to talk to anyone. That must be it...
