The Team // A Formula One AU

Pierre

They don't believe in me.

Erik's eyes pass right over my raised hand as he picks out Max, Fernando and Lewis. He shouldn't be giving lessons on the morning of qualifying, but Tom is in his office and Weird Old Phil is outside struggling with the timing board so there's no one here to stop him.

"What's happening?" Charles runs up behind me to join the small crowd, out of breath.

"Oh hey, you're back," I whisper. "Erik wants five people for an advanced lesson on brakes."

Charles' hand shoots into the air, eyes fixed on Erik, imploring. Our chief engineer chuckles and shakes his head.

"You already know everything there is to know about these braking systems, Charles. Helping you for three weeks is the reason I know enough to give this lesson myself."

My friend lowers his hand slowly, although mine remains in the air. Erik looks at me, then chooses Alex and Carlos to complete the class. He says we'll all learn eventually. I scuff my race shoes over the uneven garage floor.

If I don't believe in myself, how can I expect anyone else to believe in me? But if the best people in karting don't believe in me, maybe I'm not worth believing in. Maybe the best I'll ever be is a backmarker.

I walk over to my kart and give it a quick check over, along with my clothes for the race. New gloves this week, finally I have white ones to match my Fortress race suit. I rub my thumb over the scratches on my helmet from the first session we had in these karts. Even Esteban is beating me in the championship, if only by one point.

Everything is fine in my pit area and I don't plan to do any meditation before the start, despite what Tom recommends. Instead I wander over to Charles. It's amazing how quickly we've become close again. Even if I do never get anywhere with Fortress, coming here will always be worth it for the friends.

"Are you sure you don't need to see Gina again?" I ask Charles as I settle beside him on the floor in amongst assorted pieces of his kart. I'm only half joking.

"Gina said the brake problems might actually not be my biggest problems. She said if I start from the very beginning and build the brakes all the way to the top, and I still don't find any improvements, then I'll be able to move on."

"So you're doing that fifteen minutes before qualifying?"

"Tom scheduled my session for this morning! I have no choice!"

I laugh nervously, defeated. Charles is eighth in the championship, eleven places above me, and he still has the same type of fears that I do.

"Gina said my biggest problem is my attitude," I tell him.

Charles frowns. "That doesn't sound like a nice thing to say."

"She's right though..."

Just then, the entire rear axle falls off Charles' kart, sending a bang echoing through the quiet garage. Daniel cranes his neck over the divider between his and Charles' areas, his eyes widening when he sees the mess Charles' kart is in.

Charles just sighs.

"Time to start the rebuild."

"Want some help?" I ask.

"Don't you have your own things to do right now? Quali is in..."

He curses, slapping himself in the forehead with his palm. Quali is in ten minutes and he still needs to rebuild the entire back half of his kart.

"Let me help," I say firmly. "First off, we need to check nothing broke when the axle fell."

Charles looks on the verge of tears, but he balls his hands into fists a couple of times and nods. He scrutinises every piece as though he's done it a thousand times before, getting more and more agitated as there become less and less parts he hasn't checked yet. I did think his worries about the brakes were excessive, but I didn't think there would be absolutely nothing left to improve. We're on the final set of screws when Tom emerges from his office.

"That's it," Charles claps his hands, glancing across every component on his mental checklist. Then he looks to me. "Thank you so much for helping."

"No problem, I hope it all works for you."

"Me too," Charles nods. "Good luck. I'll see you in Q-Two, yeah?"

"Maybe," I laugh weakly, standing up. Charles follows me and we make our way towards our helmets on the main table. I pull mine on and settle it over my eyes comfortably.

"Don't knock yourself down. I've raced with you since the very beginning, I've seen what you can do. I know you can do it. I believe in you."

Charles slaps my shoulder and his serious eyes hold mine for a heavy second. Then he runs off to get Tom to check his neck brace. Charles believes in me.

I pull on my gloves and close my visor, creating my own little world where only one thing matters. I take a deep breath and start to focus on the task ahead. Charles believes in me, so I can believe in myself too.

Engines fire up as the clock officially ticks past the hour. It's time to show everyone what I'm capable of.