No Body, No Crime

Chapter Four

Este - April 16th (the wedding day)

I was out-lucked, outnumbered, out-planned. I looked at my cards, as a rush of anxiousness washed over me. I put my cards on the table, next thing I knew there were aces from someone else and I was falling into a dark void.

Whispers of "you're not ready!" or "are you really sure?" were all I could hear. My thoughts grew louder and louder, consuming me with the ongoing internal turmoil I've had for as long as I can remember.

I almost say stop, I can't take it any longer. Stop, please stop I think. No, if it were to stop what would happen? It would be worse wouldn't it? I know it would. My mind would be a battle field if I asked it to stop, and I would never be prepared for it.

But it stops.

Silence. I've never heard silence so deafening. For a second I feel a sense of security, but even that is snatched away from me as I realise I can't stay in this silence, it's worse than the storm I'm used to.

I hit the cold ground, hard. I can feel the bruises on my body beginning to form and I don't want to get up. I don't have the strength to get up. I don't deserve to get up.

All I hear is my breathe but then footsteps from every direction. I turn left, then right. I look up, then down. But I see nothing, there is no one. No one but me.

I stay on the marble floor, its lines blur as I can no longer see. I suddenly no longer hear. I no longer feel.

Nothing. I know what death is like, and it is nothing. Its cold claws are nothing. Nothing, nothing, nothing, nothing, nothing, nothing, nothing, nothing.

Nothing.

A cold sweat drips down my spine and drenches the sheet underneath me as I sit up. I'm trying to breathe but I can't seem to catch my breathe. I don't know what to do, or what to think. So I stay still for a moment until I've calmed down.

Breathe, I tell myself, breathe.

I look over at the alarm clock which shines the numbers 2:25 AM in green. I lay on my back and begin to sob, uncontrollably. Stop crying, I think to myself, crying solves nothing. Stop being so useless. Stop it. Stop it. Stop it. Just stop. I can't a voice, a mere whisper, from the back of my head. And that gives me a shred of comfort.

I manage to get myself to calm down and return to my sleep, although I am fearful of my nightmare's return. The second time I wake up to several knocks on the door of my hotel bedroom. Flinging the door open to find Taylor, Danielle, and Alana ready to take on the day.

Taylor puts on the playlist she curated especially for this part of the day, while Alana begins to get her brushes ready, insisting she do my makeup herself. Danielle plays with the polaroid camera taking pictures of us while we get ready.

Hours later, the ceremony is over. I am now wife to a millionaire, who owns a publishing company. Me, a trophy wife they'll say in the media. But I don't care, they can say all they want. I am married to the love of my life, and I am the love of his life.

He has pledged devotion to me, and that is all I've ever wanted. I want to be the perfect wife, but I feel as though I will lose myself in that process.

So in true Este fashion, there is no party after we just grab some pizza and go walking around a beautiful art gallery. Robert doesn't mind, he's more than fine with it because it reminds him of our first date.

He's wonderful really, I don't think I could have asked for anyone better. He really is the light of my life. And the best part, is when I sleep next to him my nightmares never come. He makes me feel loved and happy.  He makes me feel safe and warm. He makes me believe that I am a good person that is worthy of love.

And that is the only thing I have ever wanted.

Author's Note

Hi, I hope you enjoyed this chapter!! I wanted to show you a bit more about Este, because her perspective isn't done in this story and there's a lot she's going to face as a character. Some new people may be introduced in the next few chapters as well. I hope you're having a wonderful day/night where ever you are and that you're okay. If you're not, you're always free to message me if you'd like!! Love you and thank you so much for the reads and my first few votes ever, I'm so grateful!!