Being Nyla

𝗧𝗵𝗿𝗲𝗲

(ignore any mistakes xx)

𝖭𝗒𝗅𝖺 𝖤𝖽𝗐𝖺𝗋𝖽𝗌
𝖫𝗈𝗇𝖽𝗈𝗇, 𝖤𝗇𝗀𝗅𝖺𝗇𝖽

Quickly, I swallowed the small pill and took a sip from my water bottle. My pulse was racing and there were tiny sweat droplets on the top of my forehead. I was scared but I had to get this over and done with sometime soon.

Right?

After I had taken the tablet, the female doctor began to babble about what was going to happen within the next few weeks. But I wasn't paying her much attention. Instead, my gaze fixated on the foil packet in my other hand. I had to take one more pill and then it would all be over. I followed her instructions and swallowed the second pill, taking another sip of my water. After taking both pills and listening to the rest of what the doctor said, I was on my way home. My mind was blank and I didn't know how to feel. I had finally done it.

I hopped into the cab that was waiting for me outside of the clinic. I didn't want to go straight home just yet so I ordered it to Leroy's house. The cab soon arrived at his house and I stepped out of the car and walked up to his front door. As I was coming in, his sour-faced baby mum was walking out of the house with their son in a pushchair. She screwed me while walking past.

I stopped the door with my foot and let myself in, taking my shoes off once I was fully inside. Leroy was sitting on his sofa with one of his ps4 controllers in his lap. I sat next to him and looked at what he was watching. Power.

"Didn't hear you come in," he turned to face me and I lightly shrugged my shoulders

"I did it." I let out a breath that I didn't even know I was holding in

I slumped into the sofa and stared at the screen.

"Did what?" Leroy asked with his eyebrows raised

"I- I got the abortion" I answered

I heard that people usually felt unhappy or relieved after getting an abortion. But for me, I didn't feel a certain type of way. I didn't know how to feel. Was I supposed to be upset? Happy? Cause I don't feel either of those emotions. A part of me wondered what my life would be like if I decided to keep the baby but another part of me wondered whether I'd be able to handle the stuff that comes with having a baby. And to be very honest, I don't think I'd be able to do it.

"How you feeling?" he asked and wrapped his arms around me

"I feel like a weight has been lifted off my shoulders," I said while shrugging

I spent the rest of the day with him until my mum called me and said that I had to come home urgently. I got on the bus home and sat upstairs at the very front. When I got home, I saw two police officers leaving my house. One of them gave me a tight-lipped smile before getting into the car and driving off. The front door was slightly cracked open a bit so I gently kicked it and walked in.

"What happened? Is everything ok?" I asked my mum

She looked distressed and was running her hands through her hair. Next to her was a letter from the metropolitan police. My hands picked the letter up and my eyes scanned the thin A4 sheet.

Dear Miss Edwards,

I am writing with reference to the rape incident in which you were involved.