Collection of Imagines/One-Shots

(Requested) Justin Bieber: I don't have the words part 2

Jennifer's POV

I sit up against the wall on the bed with my feet flat in the middle. Sitting with my thumb in my mouth, aimlessly run my teeth along my nail, more emotionless tears run down my cheeks, then next using path created by the last. I've been staring at the same spot on the wall opposite me for four days, only changing view to eat or sleep, which is an irregular occurrence. I blink once, then another time, breathing slowly in and out as if I am going to forget how to. My other hand somehow finds its way to the back of my neck and the bottom of my cheek, slowly tracing the spot where Justin's hand last laid.

As much as I would like to say that he hasn’t crossed my mind once and that I honestly am fine with what happened, I can't as I would be completely lying. Justin has, in fact, been the only thing to cross my mind ever since I stepped foot out the door, even in my sleep his presents haunts my dreams. I know whatever I do will remind me of him in some way and so, I decide to sit here, almost motionless, until by some kind of miracle something else crosses my mind. My shadow slowly becoming nothing more than a mountain range silhouette.

Why is it that one person can have such a huge affect on my life? How is it possible that I can feel him without his touch, even when he is miles away? I wish, oh how I wish, that I could just forget him and get on with my own life but – I can't see a future for me without Justin. It's sad to say but my life has become completely dependent on him. I've lost the independence I so badly needed as a teenager and traded it for the co-dependency on Justin I'm telling myself I need as a young woman. I can't quite explain the feeling, I can't quite put my finger on it but it's like the moment your childhood teddy is finally taken from you in one way or another. He's my comfort blanket. I think he has been for a while now, longer than I may want to admit anyway.

Honestly I thought he may have tried a little harder to make things okay between us but, he hasn’t. Life isn’t like in the movies where the guy chases the girl all around the world to make some grand romantic gesture just to apologise for something petty. In real life, you get two phone calls in four days and a text asking if you want any of your belongings brought to where you are staying. Now, I don't think the separation is the only thing I'm crying over anymore. The hurt is not just the ache in my heart from missing Justin. It's realising that my fantasy world is just that; fantasy. It's realising that he has just done what I asked and not what I wanted.

At first, yes I was angry (even that's an understatement) and I really did want to be as far away from him as possible. I honestly never wanted to speak to him again. I wanted to scream and shout and kick and punch and throw a fit. That lasted all of five minutes. It has never been a question of whether or not I still love Justin, I can say I do without a doubt; it's whether or not I can learn or grow to trust him again. Can I ever truly forgive him for what he has done, without holding a grudge deep down?

I roll over onto my side, keeping in the same position only staring at a new piece of the purple polka dot wall paper. I try to keep my attention from focusing on my phone, also in my eye line, but fail miserably and reach for it anyway. Another two missed calls, one form my mother and one from... oh... Justin... I also have a text saying that I have three unheard voicemails. I dial the number and press the phone to my ear. The first is from my best friend from ages ago, I just delete that one. The second is from my mother:

"Hey darling, I'm not quite sure what's going on, I called the house but Justin said you were away for some reason. I didn’t quite catch it. I thought I would just ring to make sure you are okay, Justin looked ever so terrible. It looked almost like he had just been crying or something! Anyway, I can tell you are busy so I will ring you again later. Love you darling, bye."

Message deleted.

The third is from Justin:

"Jennifer? Hey, it's me... I em... well..." he sighs and pauses "look I know what you said but, I just... well, I... never mind"