Choni one-shots and short stories.

She's not ready to let go.

Trigger warning: Self Harm, Depression ⚠

Cheryl POV

Toni has been busy with the serpent for ages, but earlier this month she said she was going on a minor "Work vacation" which turns out actually mean she was gonna disappear for almost a month now, without calling or texting her girlfriend to at least say she was safe or was gonna come back to me in one piece. i never realised how much i really need her and love her until she decides to go off grid.

i was trying to keep my mind off all of it thought. i was sitting in my room cuddled up to my huge red teddy bear that Toni got me last valentines day, she told me that if she couldn't be with me i could cuddle this bear, and it would be like i was with her. she even dressed it in one of her old shirts that she would sleep in when she slept over before she moved in. it still smelt like her, god i really miss her. as i started to feel my emotions consume me again, my phone buzzed, i jumps as i grabbed it. I had been on edge every time my buzzed, hoping with my whole heart it was going to be Toni. i turned my phone around and it was a text from Ronnie.

Ronnie 💜

Ronnie: Cheryl

Cheryl: What do u want V

Ronnie: Cheryl listen i can't explain, but you just need to come to the Pembroke, right now

Cheryl: Y what happened?

Ronnie: pls Cheryl just come now!

i started to panic, i mean what could of happened, veronica only texted me when there is an emergency, she always FaceTime's me, even if it was just to tell me something pointless.

So i try my best to clean myself up, because i was a teary mess. i just threw my hair in a messy bun and put on one of Toni oversized AC/DC tour shirts and black sweatpants. I mean its only gonna be Ronnie there and she knows I'm a tragic mess at the moment.

I get in my car and drive to the Pembroke. when i get there i dont see Ronnie's car, but i do see two motorbikes parked out front. but neither are Toni's, they are sweetpea's and Fangs i think, why would they be there. but i also see jugheads bike with his and Bettys helmets on it, why are they here.

i don't really care, but i head in, i saw hello to Smithers, veronicas doorman on the way in and then get in the elevator. i get to veronicas floor and knock at the door. Betty of all people opens the door, but only enough so i can see her face.

"what does Veronica want cousin?" i ask

" wait is that Cheryl," i hear a voice say on the inside of the apartment,

betty doesn't say a word, she just opens the door to reveal Sweetpea, Fangs and jughead, sitting around veronica. I looked over at Veronica and see her cleaning a wound on someone's face, wait I'd recognise that messy pink hair anywhere,

"Toni?" i say

Veronica turns around as she see me she moves out they way to reveal Toni sitting on the floor , covered in cuts, some new and some old and bruises. i was speechless, i could get a word out, but tears start to roll down my face i ran into the room as she stood up and started to walk toward me, as i reached her i put my arms around her neck and then wrapped my legs around her waist at the same time, she quickly reacted by moving her hand to bum to support me. i Bury my head in her hair, she smells like her Colne and motorbike grease, i didn't dare let go, i couldn't, then i hear Ronnie whisper,

"umm Toni, there is a spare room next to my dads study, you can go in there,"

"thanks V," i hear her whisper back,

Toni POV

i thank veronica then i walked passed Mr lodges study and into a guest bedroom, then i close the door with my foot as my hands are occupied with my very upset girlfriend, and as i walked in still with her wrapped around me like a Koala i felt so awful, this was all my fault, i practically abandoned her.

i take my hands of Cheryl's bum, to let her get down but she just holds on keeping her head nuzzled into my neck and hair, then she shakes her head, signalling she isn't quite ready to let go yet. which, keep in mind I'm not complaining about i missed her more than ever.

so instead i put my arms around her waist and sit down on the end of the guest bed. i wasn't sure what to say, i didn't have a good excuse for going MIA. I just needed space, not from Cheryl but from life. i thought i was only gonna be gone or a couple days, a week at most. But i lost myself and didn't know who i was and who i am. i got myself into a even darker place then i was in before i left and i needed my rock. Cheryl. My whole heart, because i realised that she was the reason I'm surviving, the reason I'm okay.

"Cher," i whisper. "I really have no good excuse for what i did to you. It was really shitty and i thought that i could leave for just a couple day and come back feeling like myself, but the only thing i really learn from leaving is that i need you. You are the only reason that I'm sill fighting,".

Cheryl raises her head and i could see that she had been crying. her eyes were puffy and red. "Toni, you could have told me, you promised that if you started to feel like that again you'd tell me. that's one of the reason I'm here. to help you. If i knew your depression was getting bad aga-in," her voice broke and tears started to roll down her face. she lowered her head and fiddled with her fingers, as she started to cry. i lifted her head back up with my finger, and planted a kiss on her forehead.

"Cher, this isn't your fault, okay i should have told you, i shouldn't have try to fix this on my own, and most important of all i shouldn't have left," I say as tear start to fall down my face "I need you to be okay Cher, cause you are the reason I'm okay,"

she wiped her eyes and readjusted herself on my lap,

"Do you wanna get off my lap," i ask. she replies by shaking her head,

"TT, what happened to your face?" she asked worried, and gentilly tracing one of my more recent cut on my forehead with her finger and then moved her hand to my jaw and stroked my cheek with her thumb.

"oh, umm can we talk about this when we get home," i say, "later," i add.

"Yeah of course my love," she says burying her head once again into my chest. i kissed the top on her head and stand up still with her in my arms,

" do u wanna go back out?" i ask " V need to finish stitching this cut, then we can go,"

she nods keeping her head hidden.

"do you wanna stay up or do you want me to put you down?" i whisper in her ear as i pull the door open, once again with my foot, she squeezes my a little tighter, which i know mean she's not ready to let go.

i walk into the living room and everyone is watching T.V, veronica and betty see me and cheryl walk in and veronica says out loud,

" aww, Betty look," she says tapping betty. she turns around and says "aww".

"Hi ," I say slightly annoyed.

"Okay Toni, lets finish stitching you up," Veronica say, grabbing the med-kit.

"Okay," i say sitting down, next to Pea on the end of the coach, and Cheryl stayed silently wrapped around me.

"umm Toni," Veronica whispers, whilst pointing to Cheryl, in response i smile and just say, "she's not ready to let go, just work around her,"

"of course," she says opening the med-kit. as she approaches my head with a kneeled and digs it into a fresh wound i wince, making Cheryl jump and pop her head slightly up.

"It's okay, I'm okay Cher " i whisper into her ear. but she grabbed my hand and whispers back, " I know but remember I'm always here baby," and as veronica pulled the thread through my head i tighten my grip on Cheryl's hand.

Part 2 cause this is getting long, but i have more to write...