Once Upon A Time, Jungkook

11. Titanics Are Meant To Sink

Sometimes even I, can't explain my own actions. And I also can't be held responsible for them. Even I don't under why I did that. I can't believe that I did it. I feel so embarrassed...

For example - the night Jungkook kissed me, I didn't kiss back. After the kiss I just told him that we should go home! But on Friday, when he took me home on his motorcycle, I quickly kissed his cheek and ran inside the house.

I'm such an idiot! I'm giving him so many mixed signals!

On the other hand, when I think about it - is the desire to love and to be loved idiotic?

No one has ever loved me besides my parents and our dog Yeontan that we had when I was little. I sometimes think that Yeontan loved me more than my parents did.

I still remember how he used to spend his every free moment next to me. Every night he slept in my room. Whether it was on the floor, on the bed, next to my waist or even - next to my face.

But Yeontan died after eating something bad he found in the backyard. Since then - I was left with only the love of my parents. But their love is different. Their love is selfish.

I do believe that Yeontan was the only one who truly loved me for me.

And now? Now I want to love. I'm ready for that. What's so wrong in that? Of course, without knowing what is love, it's a little scary. Maybe love is like antidepressants to which you can become addicted. Become even a little different than before and that's truly visible.

It's not hard to prove that. All you need - is to look around the school. Take for example - Namjoon and Seokjin.

Everyone knows them. Both of them - are head over heels for each other. It's not possible to be more in love.

During every break they meet up and start to make out in the hallways. Seokjin is always the one being 'cornered' and Namjoon is always the one in front of him, shielding him away from the world.

Namjoon hugs Jin's waist and Jin puts his arms around Namjoon's neck.

It's not hard to notice that both of their eyes seem different. Like they are in a daze or fogged up. It's like they don't see the people around them when they're together.

Honestly, sometimes it's awkward to even walk past them. You feel like you're committing a crime or are naked.

And that's coming from another gay guy!

But the strangest part is that they choose to not acknowledge the people and the stares around them.

Even when the bell rings, signaling the students to come back to their classes, they can bearly tear away from each other. Then they look around, all confused, and try to figure out what is happening. Why is everyone hurrying to their classes.

Finally, Namjoon walks Jin to his class, kisses him goodbye and leaves. For them - it seems like that kiss is the last kiss they will ever have. Like they're saying their final goodbyes.

When the classes end they stay back and walk around the school's garden.

All the teachers are getting tired of it, saying that this is not a school anymore - but a club for adults!