Once Upon A Time, Jungkook

17. A Blue, Blue Earth's Kiss

My great-grandfather, Kim Taehyung, died in Spring. It happened 18 years ago but that day the cherry blossoms were also blooming. The Spring was just like this one.

I don't need to close my eyes to imagine my great-grandfather's death. Death is right here.

Death - in Spring.

I see it, smell it and even feel it.

For thousand years it stayed the same. Even when, not only me, but also my great-grandfather wasn't even here.

And for once, Spring,
You will come back bravely,
Oh lovely, Spring,
You won't find me here no more...
Stopping your black knight
You'll look down at Earth...

That's the poem I couldn't remember. Those are the words, that were stuck in my head for so long. And suddenly, an invisible hand had thrown them all in a correct order.

Back then, when me and Jungkook were looking at the clouds, they were somewhere far far away, lost. Not wanting to come anywhere close. And now - I have them but I can't tell them to anyone.

And for once, Spring...

That's how a poem about Spring was written. The author - was a simple woman, just like me. She also felt the wonderfulness of Spring.

She's no longer with us but I am. I am alive and I need to live.

How do I go through this Spring while pretending that it's not here?

The grasshoppers were under my feet. Ants were already crawling up the trees.

The Earth is like ashes. Like ash dust which stays around, when the fire goes out.

Is Spring the time of year to die?
The start and the finish - both at the same time?

I haven't seen Jungkook for three days. Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday, just like he said. He was out in Japan and not in school.

I walked around like a ghost, not finding a place that I could rest in. I didn't know what to do. It almost seemed like I could go back to playing the piano!

And then, without any warning, I realised that I couldn't live without Jungkook. It was a strange discovery and a strange thought.

Jungkook has been in my daily life for some time now. The time we spent together was my daily life. But it was a wonderful daily life. A true comfort sea that I, so selfishly, drowned in.

We both walked, talked, kissed and drove around in our motorcycles - and everything was going like a true life should go.

Jungkook became my daily drug. When I was with him - I was myself.

Almost as if I was with myself.

Only on late Wednesday's evening I got a text from Jungkook:

Come over tommorow.

Yes! Finally he came back! What does he want to do, though?

Okay.

I texted him back in a hurry without waisting any more time.