Locked Out of Heaven

The Truth

"There are signs, we just have to pay attention. Usually, we aren't right there with someone who's dying, unless we are watching over them because they're ill; in which case, we're aware that their time is approaching. I wasn't paying attention to anything except the girl on the operating table who had her whole life ahead of her, the girl who I knew I had loved, and who I didn't want to end up like me, having her life ripped away so quickly and senselessly."

~{}~

"I'm so confused," Chris mumbled. "So, you tried to help someone you loved, by bringing her back to life, and now your being punished for it? You have no memory of anyone from your past life at all...but somehow you know that Samantha is who you saved, who you were...born for? How is it that you know that?" 

I was glad he was asking questions. It meant he hadn't decided I was totally nuts. 

Yet.

"I've been able to remember little things here and there, and those things have caused me to wonder about other things I believe are memories. I've been given hints, and eventually, I was let in on the fact that Samantha was, in fact, the one I'd brought back to life, the one I was looking for."

"You were looking for me?" Samantha questioned.

"Of course I was. I needed to know you were okay. I brought you back to life, and then within minutes of returning to Heaven, I was banished, and sent down here. I knew what I'd been kicked out for but I had no idea who I'd saved at first."

"Wait," Chris interrupted. "I'm still back at where you said you were let in on the fact that Samantha was who you'd brought back to life. Who let you in on that fact?"

"Sariel..."

"Sari-who?"

I smiled.

"Sariel. He's the angel of Guidance."

Chris nodded, and I knew he was having a hard time accepting all this. But anyone would.

"Maybe if I tell you about my time in Heaven, it'll help the rest make sense"

I looked at both of them, and they each nodded.

I drew in a breath, ready to tell them everything I could, hoping they believed me when I was finished.

"As much as I knew I had been very happy with Sam, I was happy in Heaven too. I accepted that it had been my time, and I didn't complain, or cry that I had been too young to die. I did what was expected of me, and I got along with everyone. I know that I watched over Samantha, and my family and friends, although when I think about that now, I can't see any of their faces or recall their names. I just know it was a regular occurrence."

I stopped for a moment, not wanting to overwhelm them, but I didn't wait too long to continue, because there was no point to doing so. I needed them to hear what I was telling them, as much as they needed to hear it.

"I was allowed to come down, and check on anyone I wanted to, but I never did. I'd been warned that sometimes, when an angel comes down, they get overwhelmed with sadness, just seeing how sad the one they came to check on is, and then they have to be retrieved, because they refuse to return to Heaven on their own."

They both looked sad, Samantha's eyes shiny with tears.

"I knew that If I came down to check on Sam, I probably wouldn't want to leave her, because she was overwhelmed with so much grief, and she had basically given up on herself, refusing to even try anymore. There was a perfectly good reason, but it was something I hadn't been made aware of."