dahlia? (a loki fanfic)

chapter eleven.

Dahlia Fredriksdottir's memory, winter 1867

"Let me try again," Loki told Dahlia, speaking while simultaneously looking at the book in front of him. The book was something Dahlia's parents had left her before they had passed away. Dahlia never knew her parents, they'd died when she was far too young to remember, which led her to be in the care of her uncle.

"Loki, it says right here only certain people have the abilities to ever manage to do any of this," Dahlia let out a small laugh, watching him reread the words her parents had written out for them. Dahlia's parents were known as Asgard's greatest telepaths.

Dahlia hadn't shown the book to anyone besides Loki. She had been instructed to keep it to herself, but over the years Dahlia had grown an intensely strong trust to Loki. She wasn't sure if the feeling was mutual, but purely based on the aura she constantly felt around him, she was fairly certain he did.

"Are you trying to tell me it won't work?" Loki asked, sighing, almost in defeat. He was trying to figure out how to do the telepathic spell of reliving people's memories. The exact one he was using currently to show her this memory.

"I think you can do it," Dahlia said with a small smile, "But you're too impatient."

"I am patient!" Loki exclaimed, letting out an overdramatic groan.
"No, you're not." Dahlia laughed.
"Can't you just...telepathically teach me how to do it?" Loki joked, and Dahlia rolled his eyes again.
"Just concentrate," Dahlia put her hand on his shoulder, resting it there. "You'll get it eventually."

-

"I taught you this?" Dahlia asked quietly once the memory was finished. Loki nodded, looking a lot less tired but still tired.
"You did." Loki said, laying back down onto his pillow.
"Huh." Dahlia didn't sit down yet.

"Are you still not going to sleep?" Loki asked, looking up at her. Dahlia looked down at him, before running a hand through her pretty messy hair. She hadn't fixed it since Loki had fixed it before battle of New York, and the state of it had worsened during her breakdown in the Asgardian dungeons.

"Is my hair a lost cause?" Dahlia asked, which was completely out of nowhere. Her curls were all messed up and tangly, but Loki still shook his head.
"Of course not."
"Are you sure?"

Loki sat back up, moving back next to Dahlia, this time softly touching her hair. He would just magically make it appear better, but he was tired, and drained. He didn't have the energy for it.

"I could help you braid it?" He offered quietly, running his hand very, very carefully through part of her hair. Somehow he easily seperated the part, detangling it with just a soft touch.

"You can go to sleep if you want to," Dahlia said, and Loki let out a small, soft laugh at that.
"You've already interrupted my sleep, I might aswell help you sleep,"

Loki helped Dahlia braid her hair, all in one big braid that started at the front of her head, and led all the way down in a straight, big braid. Her hair reached all the way to her hip while in the braid, and once Loki finished, he flashed a small, warm smile at her. "Will you finally try to rest now?" he asked, making eye contact with her.

"I'm keeping you awake,"
"Obviously."
"Do you want me to leave?"
"What makes you think that?"

Dahlia paused, and Loki seemed kind of concerned. "You ask so many questions about my thoughts," he said, before laying down. "You used to just...read them."

"Humans don't like getting their mind read all the time."
"No one does."
"You've never complained."
"Because I'm not hiding anything from you." Loki said bluntly, closing his eyes but he didn't actually seem tired anymore.

"What about those conversations for another time?"
"I'm not hiding them from you, Dahl."
"Then why haven't we had them?"

Loki sighed, opening his eyes and looking at Dahlia again. "It's complicated."
"Uncomplicate it?" Dahlia asked, like an impatient child.
"That's not how it works."

Dahlia sighed, knowing he was right. "Sorry."
"Sleep,"

Dahlia finally laid down, but her eyes were still open, looking at Loki.
"What?" Loki asked her, very softly this time.
"How much did you actually see happen to me on Earth?" Lia asked, just as quietly.
"Are you sure you want to be having this conversation right now?"
Dahlia just nodded at him.
"I don't want you to cry again." Loki said, even softer.
"I don't cry."
Loki paused, a small, sad smile on his face. "I know you don't."

"How much did you see?" She repeated.
Loki looked away from her eyes for a moment, before reaching for her hand and very loosely holding it. "A lot of drugs," he started, quietly, "A lot of needles, a lot of...physical violence," he met her eyes for a very short moment before looking away again. "A lot of tears." he said at last, before going quiet.

Dahlia wasn't crying, she was just looking at Loki, waiting to see if he would say anything more.
"I'm so terribly sorry you had to endure any of it, Dahl." he said, after the moment of silence passed. "I wish I'd known you were alive."

"Did you mourn me?"

The question caught Loki offguard, and he met her eyes once again, "Of course I did."

Dahlia looked at his eyes, as if she was reading them, before nodding. "Okay."
"okay?" Loki repeated.

Dahlia nodded. "You can go to sleep now."
"Will you do the same?"
Lia nodded at him once more.
"Don't hesitate to wake me if you need anything, okay?"
"Okay."