Without You | NCT Jaehyun

ten

Y/N'S POV

Haesu called and asked me if I wanted to meet up and I said yes.

The last time I saw her was at her wedding, she and her husband has just gotten back from their honeymoon and I'm so excited to catch up with her.

While I was getting ready, my phone rang. I saw Jaehyun's name and answered it with no hesitation.

"Hello?"

Jaehyun called to let me know that he will be busy with practice and asked me if I had any plans for today. I told him that I'm meeting up with Haesu. We didn't chat long since I was about to leave my apartment. I grabbed my keys and checked myself in the mirror one more time and left.

It was a beautiful day, the sun was out and I could feel the warmth on my skin. As I was walking, there was these two teenagers who were holding hands. They looked so adorable and it made me smile. Watching them made me miss being in a relationship. Being single is fine and it's actually kind of peaceful but we, humans, are never meant to walk on this world alone. There were nights were I wished that someone was holding me, there were moments where I wished someone was there to share it with. 

I remember the first time I met Jaehyun and to be honest, I wasn't really attracted to him at first. He barely spoke to me.

The reason why I decided to come to Seoul was because of Mark, he's my best friend and we haven't seen each other for so long. Since I had my own money, I had the freedom to choose to spend it on something that I wanted. I guess being an adult comes with perks and it's not too bad as long as I didn't go broke.

Mark invited me to this award show where they performed and won an award. I was so amazed by him and I was really proud. My best friend from Canada has girls chanting his name. Who would have ever thought of that? Growing up with him, he never really mentioned about his plans for the future. Now, I'm in the crowd full of people who are crazy about them, it was unbelievable. I was so proud I kept on screaming, 'That's my best friend!'

After the show, I met him at the parking lot like we agreed. Mark was wearing this suit and he was absolutely dashing.

"y/n!!!" He called out.

I gave him a big hug and he lifted me up.

"Look at you so handsome in that suit."

He chuckled and said thanks. I could see his cheeks getting red.

Did I make Mark Lee blush??

I complimented him and told him how proud I was seeing him perform.

"Come, I'll introduce you to my members."

I was really hesitant and a little nervous. I followed him as we walked towards the group of tall people standing by the van.

"Guys, this is y/n. My friend back in Canada." They all turned to me at the same time and it was like diamonds shining on my face. They were all so handsome and them being in a suit makes them look even more sexier. 

"Hi." I said shyly and smiled. Mark looked at me in a weird way but proceeded to introduce me to them one by one. If I'm being honest, I didn't get all their names. They were just too many and all I remember was Haechan cos he was telling me embarrassing stories about Mark. But yeah, that was the day I met Jaehyun.

I walked in the coffee shop and the little bell hanging by the door made a noise. I looked around to find Haesu waiting for me. We gave each other a warm hug and we sat down.

Haesu was talking about her honeymoon and let's just say that our friendship doesn't have any boundaries and miss girly here told me everything.

EVERYTHING.

We laughed and cried as if we haven't seen each other for so long.

"So... I heard you're hanging out with Jaehyun these days." She paused to drink her coffee. "Are you guys getting back together?"

I went silent for a bit and looked down. I laid back on my seat and faced her.

"I don't know."

"How do you feel about him?" She asks.

How do I feel about him? I feel like my heart could explode when he's around. He makes me feel happy and wanted. He sweeps me off my feet with that smile of his. My knees go weak when I hear his voice. I am still in love with the man who broke my heart and it's killing me inside. How is that even possible? Why do I still want him? Why can't I distance myself from him? I love him but being with him sometimes scares me. I am deeply in love with him but I'm scared of getting hurt again. I am madly in love with him but I am scared of opening those doors again. I am in love with him but part of me wishes to un-love him. How? How should I supposed to feel?

"I don't know." I answered.

Haesu sighed.

"You know... I just married the love of my life a few weeks ago and I'm so excited for what's about to come." She leaned forward and reached for my hand.

"And I want you to have that too."

I smiled as I was touched by what she said.

"But you can't have that if you're too afraid to take risks. Jump y/n... Jump. If you get your heart broken again, I'll be here picking up the pieces."

"Every last bit?" I asked.

"Every. Last. Bit." She gave me a reassuring smile.

I went home thinking about what she said. It sounded so cheesy but it made sense. I am happy when I'm with Jaehyun and I love him so much.

Should I tell him how I really feel?

Should I just jump?