Jaehyun felt the pressure in the entertainment industry and decided to break up with you to focus on his career. A year later, he is now famous more than ever and he felt like he's on top of the world but in reality, he hopes that one day you will b...
I woke up to find myself alone in Jaehyun's bedroom. I stretched my arms and yawned. I reached for my phone and glanced at the time. It took me moment to finally get out of bed. I walked to the shelf where the mirror is at to check myself.
In the shelf were just Jaehyun's random things. Records, books, stuff like that. He even had our picture together.
I never really asked him what he did after our break up. I never asked if he was okay. I guess I was just too angry at him. I even stopped listening to K-pop because of him.
I took a step back and took a closer look at his albums.
Wow.
I grabbed one. It amazes me how their albums are well put together. It was thick like a book.
As I flipped through the pages, I stopped at Jaehyun's picture.
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I remember the time when he was mine and I was his.
These days my heart beats for him and there are days where it aches.
My love for him was true and pure.
It was deep like the ocean but somehow, I drowned.
I drowned myself in tears and in sorrow as my heart broke into pieces.
I tried to fix it and put it all back together but the pieces were heavy.
Every piece was a memory.
It was hard but I did it. I fixed it.
I fixed myself.
It took me a long time to finally say that "I'm okay." Getting over him was difficult because I fell for him hard and he became my world when I wasn't even his.
As I traveled, I was able to realize a few things like I am my own world. I run it and I live it.
That's the thing when you fall in love, no one tells you how painful it is. No one tells you that telling someone you love them is not enough and you have to prove it every single day but I guess that's part of living.
What's love without pain?
What's happiness without sadness?
It sounds cruel but part of me thinks that it's beautiful. You never get to live without experiencing hardships in life. We wouldn't be living anymore if everything seemed perfect.
I was deep in my thoughts when I heard a knock on the door. With the album still in my hand, I walked towards the door and opened it.
"Morning!" Jaehyun greeted.
He was wearing a black shirt, a plaid pajama, and his hair was pushed back by a headband.
"Watcha got there?" He said while pointing at the album in my hand.
"Oh sorry, I didn't mean to-"
"Woah... It's okay, don't worry about it. I'm actually kinda glad that you're looking at my picture." He teased.
"Come on, I made some breakfast." He added.
I closed the album and put it back on the shelf.
"Where are the others?" I asked when I noticed that Jaehyun and I were the only ones eating.
"Out." He answered.
Jaehyun made some pancakes and bacon and it's surprisingly good.
I sat there quietly as my thoughts my came back to me. I'm happy for what we have right now but deep down I'm really scared to go down that road again. Looking at his album made me realize that he has achieved so much and I believe he could achieve more. And if we ever get back together, I don't think I could survive another heartbreak again.
"What's wrong?" He asked.
"Nothing... I'm just thinking."
"About?" He looked at me and once again I was drawn by him. The way he looks at me makes my knees go weak. I've convinced myself that I was able to move on from him but here I am. I'm still in love with him and it hurts.
"Just random things." I answered.
I didn't wanna tell him what I feel about us right now. Even though he was the one who hurt me, I still want to protect him.
It's funny how there was a time when I could see my future just by looking at him. A whole life would just flash before my eyes. When he kisses me, I could feel fireworks. I don't know how but I do. It's an intense feeling but these days, it's all blurry. He makes me happy but I still don't know where this is going.
"Are you thinking about us?"
"I don't think that's a good conversation to have in the morning." I answered him and hope he would just change the topic and let it go.
"Why?" He asked.
"Cos I'm not fully awake yet." Just another excuse.
"Alright missy." He stood up and started clearing up the table.
"But I really want to have that conversation with you next time." He added.
"Yes sir." I gestured my hand as if I was in the military. I thought I was adorable.
